Me, My Shrink And Lisa

Session Three: A total virgin.

– This is getting irrelevant.

– I will get a new shrink and I'll explain to them why I tried to kill myself at least 5 times now and you will get jealous, miss.

– Just go to the part where you jumped out of your room window.

– That... wasn't a suicide attempt. Where did you get that idea from?

– You threw yourself through a two floor building. Where do you think I got the idea from?

– You do have a point but that happened because of something else...

– Jump until there.

– Okay. Nothing very important happened until there.

– You... You are going to narrate it anyway...

– Not anymore! Why did you have to guess?

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So, jumping to the day I threw myself from my room window...

It went sort of like this...

"Noah!"

"Mom?"

"Go buy bread!"

"Going!"

*threw myself through the window*

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– Wait a minute, what was that?

– The story.

– I know that's not how it happened.

– How can you be so sure?

– Just tell the story Noah.

– Okay. Gah.

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It was a lovely morning. I stood up and took breakfast. When I got to school, Ulisses came to me and, guess who, Lisa saved me from him. Double shameful, right?

"Look at you! You're soaking wet!" – She said as she sat at the floor beside me – "Do you have clothes in here?"

"Why would I?"

"Well..."

"I do." – I stood up and went to my locker and then to the locker room. She followed me until there. When the guys saw her, they didn't say a thing. They only left.

"How do you do that?"

"I didn't do anything, you did."

"What did I do?"

"You don't know?" – I shook my head – "When a guy gets into a locker room with a girl, it can only mean one thing..."

"What?"

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