Me, My Shrink And Lisa

Session seven: Hit by a bus? Nice. Abandoned? Even better.

– Before we talk about the last suicide attempt, tell me, you were hit by a car, right?

– A bus actually.

– What happened?

– Theo pushed me to the road...

– Why did he do that?

– Well, Theo is in love with Lisa. And he didn't like knowing that she wasn't into him and was my friend...

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"Oh look. A girl and Lisa." – Theo said.

"And you say that like it would offend me, misogynist pi-" – I said.

"What do you want, Theo?" – Lisa asked.

"You know what I want, Lisa." – He said and tries to put his hand on Lisa's shoulder and I slapped his hand off.

"Back off." – I said.

"Gaining guts, huh?" – Theo said – "I thought you never would."

"Theo, come on. You're as weak as me. Maybe more, who knows?" – I said – "Would I really be terrified of confronting you like that?"

"I'll show you who's weak!" – Theo said and grabbed me by the collar.

"This is really unnecessary..." – I said – "I can let you down easily."

"Try!"

Not hesitating a second, I tossed him to the ground.

"Come on dude." – I said – "Really?"

"I'll kill you!"

"This is getting old... Let's go Lisa..."

We started to walk and I dropped my wallet as soon as we were about to turn right, near the road.

"Wait up, I dropped my wallet." – I said and Lisa was already two yards to my right.

I ducked to get my wallet and got up then heard a noise coming from behind me. I turned and saw a very angry Theo running to me. He was way too close for me to react in time so he pushed me to the road.

"What was your idea?" – I asked and heard a horn on my left.

Then I got hit by a bus.

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– Got in coma for three days... Didn't die. I guess I'm immortal.

– What was the distance of days from that day to the fourth suicide attempt?

– Three months, I guess.

– Hm... – She scratched something more from her note pad – Noah, tell me. How do you feel towards your family?

– They're great, I guess... I mean, my sisters are double weirdoes, my brother doesn't talk to me, my mom hardly has time to be around and my dad is obsessed onto making me work until my bones are fossils and my muscles are dried and fried to eat with French fries but they're fine. They're totally okay. Very reasonable...

– Do you like them or not?

– I have nothing against them.

– Not good enough for an answer.

– I love my family... I just don't really like them... Not after this thanksgiving...

– What happened in this thanksgiving?