Sincerely, Niall [z.h.] ✔

Sunday April 14, 2013

Dear Zayn, 

    Greg came to the house today. I'll admit that I missed his presence, but like mum and dad, he was worried about me and constantly bothered me, asking how I was feeling. I answered the same as I always do. "I'll be fine when Zayn get back." He nearly burst into tears right then, but I don't know why. He had to leave the room, and that was when I noticed that he was wearing a suit. 

     I asked him why when he got back, and he just smiled at me and pulled me into a hug. "There's a dance coming up at college. I am testing out my outfit," he told me. He held me a little longer, and I have to confess that I really missed it. I closed my eyes and pretended that he was you. It made me feel better, less lonely and empty. 

    You didn't show up again, today, but that won't stop me from waiting for you. I can feel it in my gut that you are coming home. You'll come rushing in, and after we do the hug that I explained before, we'll lay in bed all day, and you'll tell me the silly story of how you went missing. "You see, I was just walking down Cherry Lane, you know that road, don't you? Anyway, I wasn't paying attention to where I was going, and before I knew it, I was two towns over!" 

     I'd giggle, and you'd stare at me, with your Niall smile. And I'd take notice, blushing and hiding my face. "Why are you staring at me?" I'd ask as you chuckled. Then you'd say something cheesy to make me blush some more before we would start to kiss again. That's what we'd do the majority of the day. And I am not complaining because after this much time of you being gone, I've began to miss having you kiss me. You hold me. You whisper sweet things in my ear. 

     Sorry, you must find it annoying how often I make up things about the future. What was it you always told me? "You're going to hurt yourself if you keep living in your fantasies." But you know that I'm not that smart. You know that I love using my imagination. You know all that because you were the day that my life changed forever. 

     I remember that day like it was yesterday. Do you? Surly you do, you keep looking at the scars and telling me how it was all your fault, even though I know it's not. You were driving the car, and we were singing along to the song 'Teen Angel' by Mark Dinning. Kind of ironic, actually, that we were singing to that, for I almost became a teen angel myself. 

     Anyway, we were singing at the top of our lungs, and this car just came out of no where and plowed right into us, on my side. It crushed my side, and I screamed as we flipped and rolled, glass flying everywhere. You never screamed. Or if you did, I couldn't hear you over my screaming. We landed upside down on the road, and my side had crushed me into the console between us. 

     Suddenly, the airbag blew up on me, and the force of it snapped my head to the side, and I hit hard against the window. I shattered it with my head, and went limp. The pain in my head really hurt, and there was blood everywhere, but you came for me, just like you had been saying as you worked on getting yourself free of your seat belt. 

     I remember hearing your body fall to the top of the car, due to gravity. You cursed, but made your way over to me. I remember little after that. But what I do recall is you crying-silent tears. You got me into your arms, and my blood smeared over your chest as you cradled me close, whimpering over and over that you were sorry. 

     Even now I get the shivers from remembering that. I know you do, too, because whenever it's mentioned, you pull me into your embrace and just hold me for a long time. I know you cried whenever you did that. You'll tell me you don't, but I could feel them fall into my hair. 

    The ambulance took us to the hospital-I remember you telling me that. I went to the ICU while you didn't. The doctor said that the window had broken my skull, as well as the skin there. Everyone was losing hope that I would live. But you never once doubted that I would walk out of there and come rushing back into your arms. And that's exactly what I did. 

      You know this already, but I haven't been the same since then. My brain doesn't function properly anymore, and I have those awful scars that look like spiderweb all over my right temple. But you never cared. You loved me just the same as you always had. You promised that you'd love me no matter what. 

I love you, Zayn. 

Sincerely, 

Niall