Sincerely, Niall [z.h.] ✔

[No date recorded]

     Zayn, no, what's happening? I don't understand this at all. I can't stop crying, my head is spinning, my heart is breaking. Why, Zayn, why? Why would you do this? Why would you hurt me like this? Why did you leave me like this? Why would you ever think that this was okay? 

      Louis spilled it to me. We were arguing about you, and he got so frustrated with me that he just shouted it out. I froze, because no, you'd never do that to me. Ever. But he kept going, giving every little detail. Why, Zayn? Why is it true? Why can't Louis be lying to me? Why did you do it? Why did everyone keep this from me? Why didn't anyone tell me? I had a right to know. 

       No, I don't believe it. I can't believe what he told me is true. But then, when I asked Harry if it was true, he just looked down at his plate and said nothing. . .

      I can't believe you'd do this to me. Why, Zayn? Why, why, why? Didn't you know you'd kill part of me? Didn't you know my heart would break? You were my everything, Zayn, so why would you ever do this to me? 

     I have to make sure Louis isn't right. I'm going where Louis said you would be, and I'm going to prove that you didn't do this awful, terrible thing. You were too strong to ever fall under the power of this decision. You never would have done it. 

      I suppose if it's true, you already know what you did. But if you didn't, then I'll tell you what horrible thing Louis has accused you of doing. 

      I don't believe you'd do it. No, I can't believe it. You'd never leave me like this. You weren't depressed! You weren't sad! You had me, you were happy! You said you loved me! So why, Zayn? Why'd you go and commit suicide?