Sincerely, Niall [z.h.] ✔

Dear Zayn, 

    That sounds weird. Like, is it dear as in, you are the love of my life and I want to spend the rest of my days with you? Or is it that I'm just letting you know that I'm talking to you? I kind of hope it's the first one, it sounds more romantic that way. 

     Anyway, it's been nine days, seven hours, and forty-two minutes since you went missing. Not that I've been counting. Okay, so maybe I have been. And maybe I have been feeling kind of sad and lonely without you here by my side. Where'd you go? Why did you leave me behind? You promised that wherever you go I go. So why'd you break that promise now? 

     You remember Greg don't you? What am I saying, of course you do. He is my brother, after all. What I was saying was that he put me in therapy for some reason. I mean, I don't understand. Sure, I've been really sad since you've gone missing. And yes, I've been crying a lot, but that doesn't mean he has to put me in therapy. Brothers, I tell you, they're strange. 

      Oh, right, silly me. I forgot that you wouldn't know what it's like. You only have sister. Sorry, you know how forgetful I can be sometimes. Speaking of your sisters, they are really upset that you've gone missing as well. They have stopped talking to me ever since Greg went to your house to talk with them. About you being missing and all. I wonder why they cut off ties with me. I miss having your sisters come and hug me. I think I need it right now more than ever. 

     My parents took the first week off of work to comfort me, knowing how much pain and sadness I must be feeling. They didn't have to do that. I'll be fine just as soon as the police find you and bring you back to me. I'll throw myself into your arms just like we always do, and you'll hug me tight as you laugh, sending the vibrations through me. You'll press kisses to my forehead and cheeks, telling me how much you've missed me, even if it had only been a few hours. I'd blush and hide my face in your neck, and you'd laugh again, making me smile, even if you couldn't see it. 

      But my favorite part about it all comes after that. It's when I pull my head out and our eyes meet. Your eyes are always warm and bright, and I love to see that. But you'd lean in, and I'd lean in, and we'd kiss. I love kissing you. Your lips are so soft, yet rough. I love how you treat me so gently, never rough, like I might break if you aren't careful enough. 

     After we pull back, you would smile that smile that I love over all smiles. I like to call it the Niall smile, because I've never seen you smile like that at anyone else. You'd move your mouth to my ear, and you'd send shivers down my back as your hot breath fanned my ear. "I love you," you'd whisper, placing a sweet kiss there. My face always heated up right then because it felt so good when you did that. 

     "I love you, too," I'd whisper back, a giant grin on my face. You chuckled at that, kissing me softly again. Those are my favorite times we've shared. It feels weird not to jump into your arms every day. It feels weird to have not kissed you for so long. It feels weird to not have you here beside me, our hands linked as you would tell me that everything was going to be alright as long as you were there. 

     I wonder-now that I mention it-if that not having you here by my side means that things aren't going to be alright. If you had planned this going away, you would've told me that even though I wasn't there in the flesh, you will always be in my heart. No matter what. I don't know why I worry. 

     I've gotten off topic. I always seem to do that, don't I? You would laugh right now and nod your head as you agreed with me. I can't focus on anything for a long period of time. But you said that you didn't mind, that you loved me even though I was like that. 

     Anyway, I just got back from therapy as soon as I started to write this. Her name is Ms. James. She seems nice, but she keeps saying that I need help and I need to get better. I don't understand it at all. I'll be just fine as soon as the police find you. 

     She gave me a journal, and she told me to write in it every day. So I decided to write to you. Because I love you. And I miss you. And I can't wait for you to come home and be where you belong, right by my side. 

I love you, Zayn. 

Sincerely, 

Niall