All of this past

The concert

I stood in front of our wardrobe, I still get to call it ours as long as David's clothes are still in it, right? Because no, after I found that letter, I never got around to sorting the rest of his stuff out. I didn't know what I should wear tonight, I had actually consulted my oldest daughter about it, who soon convinced me I shouldn't be wearing a suit. But what to wear then?

After doubting for another 15 minutes I realised I really had to make a decision if I wanted to take a shower before leaving. I heaved a sigh and went with a pair of black jeans that weren't too formal nor too casual, and a red shirt that had belonged to David. I straigthened my hair when I got out of the shower, as it was becoming too long and therefor curly without being long enough for the curls to actually look decent. I got downstairs where the kids were watching TV and ushered them to the car so I could drop them off at their different destinations before heading to the venue for the concert myself.

June gave me an approving nod as she noticed my choice of clothes and I chuckled at her. 

"Who knew your old man can actually look good huh?" I asked jokingly as I ran my hand through her hair.

"You're not old dad, and you look smashing. Have a good time tonight?" she replied before she gave me one of her warm hugs and got into the car, babbling away with her sister about the plans she made with her best friend for tonight. 

20 minutes later, I left Sam with his best friends mother and drove off with a wave at my youngest. It was a short drive before I arrived at the venue, and I was pretty early so I didn't have much trouble to find parking space. I took a deep breath before I pulled the car key out of the ignition, not sure if I was really prepared to see Harry again. After all, it had been 20 years, and we didn't even have any contact apart from those few letters. I hadn't dared to text him, although I did save his number in my phone. It just felt weird, the last time I had attempted to send him a text was on our wedding day. I had been sitting in my car all the time, writing a text message, erasing it and starting over. Until I saw the bride come out of the church, smiling like crazy. That's when I realised it was really over for Harry and I. I shut the messaging app on my phone and drove off, deleting the message when I arrived home.

I got out of the car, being my usual frantic self checking five times if I had locked it properly before heading towards the double doors to the concert hall. The woman who was there to check the tickets gave me a strange look, as it was over an hour before the concert would start but let me in anyway. There was nobody else to be found in the hallways, so I wandered around, taking a look at the posters for upcoming events and took a look at the table where a woman who looked a little younger than I was busied herself with unpacking cd's and postcards with Harry's face on it. I soon got bored, so I decided to try if I could get to my seat already. To my surprise, the young man at the doors actually let me in, even though there was still a sound check going on. I walked quickly to the seat that was indicated on my ticket and sat down. I hid in the darkness of the room as some technicians were trying out some lighting arrangements and a bearded guy walked up the stage to sound check the red accoustic guitar I recognised as Harry's from the pictures in his last CD booklet. I just sat there, waiting for the actual concert to begin and a bit surprised I was still the only one in the audience at the moment, even though I was really early. I smiled at the guitar-tuning man on stage when he played Under The Bridge by Red Hot Chili Peppers and acted like he was in the band himself. I was caught completely off guard and my heart literally skipped a beat when he appeared on stage. Of course it made sense that his microphone needed to be synced, but I hadn't expected him to come up and do it himself. It figures though, he never was one to leave important matters to others.

He cleared his throat and asked someone named Mark if it was okay for him to sing. His voice hadn't changed a bit. I slumped down in my seat, although I knew very well that he wouldn't be able to see me in the dark room. He started singing a small bit I recognised as the first few lines of one of his first songs and I felt my stomach clench. It was so much more beautiful live than on the CD. And then looking at him while he sang it, I honestly didn't know if I would manage to sit this out all night. He made me feel like a 15 year old all over again, and he didn't even knew I was there now.

I released my breath when he disappeared off stage again and the lights switched on. It didn't take long before other people started flooding into the room, taking the seats around me until it was almost completely filled up. Soft music I recognised from one of Jude's CD's was playing in the background, until the lights went out, 10 minutes after the concert was supposed to begin. I braced myself, trying to prepare for what I was about to witness, not wanting the vicious blush on my face to return. It didn't keep me from gasping when he walked up to his spot behind the microphone though. He was wearing black skinny jeans and a blue dress shirt that brought out the colour of his eyes, making them stand out even more. He picked up his guitar and put the band around his shoulder while he took a seat on the bar stool that was set up for him, his usual cheeky smile crossing his face. I gulped as his familiar husky voice filled the room.

"Hi. Thank you all for coming here tonight. It's good to be here, I really love playing at this place. So, I hope you all have a blast as much as I'm planning to." And right after that, his fingers started moving on his guitar, producing the familiar chords of Stuck by Big Time Rush. I smiled. Could it be? Would he still remember that I liked that song the most when he showed me he wrote it? My heart rate settled, and I started to really enjoy his music. I was up for a good night, that was for sure.