All of this past

Five years down the road

I shouted at Harry that it was time to leave, and he came down a few minutes later. Nothing much had changed since he had moved in, he would still spend a lot of time in his studio/office on the attic, working on songs or just playing his guitar, and it hadn't been different this Wednesday evening. 

"Come on Haz, put on your shoes, we need to pick Kate and Elena up from the train station and it starts in an hour."

"Liam, will you stop fretting? We will be there in time, no worries, I wouldn't let you miss this, okay. In fact, I wouldn't want to miss it myself."

"Yeah yeah, that's what you said last April as well, and then we missed the beginning of his play."

"Sam wasn't even in that first scene, and we had a flat tire on the way there. I'm pretty sure that won't happen again. Now stop whining and get in the car." he rolled his eyes at me, fed up with my nervousness, but I just couldn't help it. Maybe he was right and Sam wasn't in the first scene we'd missed of his performance in Dance on my grave, but I was most certainly not prepared to miss on his graduation ceremony. I just didn't understand how Harry could remain so calm with all this, while I was being eaten by nerves. I bit my nails, or what was left of them on my way to the train station, and let out a relieved breath when I saw Kate and her girlfriend already waiting for us near the parking lot. Much to my relief, and I'm sure to hers as well, this relationship was a lot more stable than the one with Sarah. They had broken up a few weeks before their graduation, a final break up this time, and Kate had met Elena at uni, but it had taken about a year before they had become an item. I really liked her, she was sweet, smart, witty and pretty, and it was easy to tell that the two young ladies loved each other very much. Two weeks ago we had gone down to Manchester to witness their graduation from uni, but they had wanted to stay in their student flat for a few weeks before the summer holidays really started and they had to start looking for jobs. 

Harry pulled up next to where they stood and waited for them to climb into the car. Kate entered first, pressing a kiss on my cheek and Harry's next before she settled down and clicked her seatbelt, followed by Elena who greeted us both with a kiss as well. 'Hey dad, Harry. Not too nervous dad?" Kate teased as we drove off again. I stuck my tongue out at both her and Harry who chuckled at her question.

"Only as much as on every important occasions of the last 9 years, so we're probably good with the three packets of tissues in my pocket." Harry replied cheekily. I pouted a bit and looked out the window, trying hard not to warn him about pedestrians on the side walk and cyclists on the road in front of us. Finally, after a half an hour drive we pulled up at the school and parked our car across the street before we all got out of the car. I hugged my daughter and her girlfriend properly before we walked into the school. I looked around for Sam, but I didn't see him yet, so we decided to have a seat on a bench in the sun while we waited for him, as well as for Jude and Ethan who would meet us here. They walked onto the school grounds five minutes later, holding each others hands, their wedding rings catching the last rays of sun that were reflected from the windows at the other side of the schoolyard. They spotted us and waved before they walked over and hugged us all in turn. I was last in line to hug Jude and held her close to my chest for a minute before I let her pull away. I'd only just seen her last week, but it felt like ages already.

"Hey babe, how are you doing now?" I asked with a glance at her slightly bulging belly. She smiled and assured me she was doing better.

"It's fine now dad, really. It has gone back to just morning sickness now, as soon as noon and lunch has passed I feel perfectly fine, well except for being exhausted all the time, but Gemma told me that didn't go away until she was 16 weeks when she was pregnant with Ethan."

"Good, I'm glad you're feeling better. And it's cute that you're starting to show. Although it makes me feel terribly old." She chuckled, joined by Ethan who was done talking to Harry now and protectively wrapped his arms around his wife, hands resting instinctively on her belly. I smiled at the pair, happy that my daughter had found herself a good life, working as a junior associate in a law firm, happily married to her husband and expecting her first child in about six months.We talked some more about the dance class she was teaching, all of us glancing around the ground every few minutes to see if Sam was still nowhere in sight. 

"Let's hope he didn't get wasted up front like those guys in your class Kate, it was pretty embarrassing to see them almost fall off the stage when they went up to get their diplomas." Harry chimed.

"Oh god, Harry, don't remind me of them, I'm so glad I don't have to see their shit faces anymore." she groaned, her nose scrunched when she thought back at her high school graduation and then pointed at the other side of the school. "Looks like he's still walking in a straight line though, so I don't think he's been illegally drinking."

I turned to follow her gaze and sure enough, at the other side of the yard was my son, his brown hair messy, spiking up around his head and the happiness radiating from him as he smiled at the girl on his hand. It struck me how handsome he looked as he walked there, his blazer blown back by the summer breeze, revealing his white shirt with the top button undone. He had refused to wear a tie, as usual, but he looked stunning anyway. His smile widened even more when he reached our small group, hugging us all quickly before he went to stand next to his sister, teasing her with her small bump. I greeted his girlfriend Lizzie and smiled as she told Sam to stop pestering Jude. He sure was a handful, but in the end he was probably one of the kindest guys I had ever met. He walked inside the gymnasium and gestured us to follow. I let Kate, Elena, Jude and Ethan go up front while I waited for Harry to wrap his arm around my shoulder. I looked up at him and stole a quick kiss before he leaned his head to mine, pressing another kiss on my cheek as we entered the gymnasium. "You've done a great job Li, look at them, all happy, successful and three of the nicest, loving and prettiest people I know. You can be proud." I blushed but kissed him back before we sat down in our seat, leaning into his chest as we watched the same boring graduation ceremony as the two times before, although the fact that we'd witnessed this twice before didn't stop me from shedding a couple of tears when Sam received the paper he'd worked so hard for.

As we all sat down at the table in the restaurant later that night, it suddenly hit me that soon enough our house would be terribly empty. Jude had moved out two years ago to go and rent a flat together with Ethan, although she had been gone to uni for most of the time the years prior to that. Kate would come and live at home for a bit, together with Elena who's parents lived in Spain, but I was pretty sure they'd move out as soon as they both got a job. Sam would be home for the summer and his first one or two years at uni here in London, but he had already applied for scholarships to go and do his masters degree in the US or Scandinavia, and been accepted for one in Sweden for his second bachelor year, before he'd even started uni. 

Harry was right though, this was a family to be proud of, I realised as I saw everyone talking and laughing together. It was now 10 years since David had passed, and we had managed to survive, as individuals, and as a family, probably coming out of it stronger than before. Nine years since I had started dating Harry, and also since Jude and Ethan had started dating. They still teased us with the fact that they had been together for three more months than Harry and I. 8 years since Harry had moved in, 6 years since our marriage. We'd been through a lot together, but it had all been worth every second of it. We had dessert and talked some more, saying goodbye to Ethan and Jude in good spirits as we took off. Kate and Elena driving back with us while Sam drove him and Lizzie in my car that he had claimed as his since I didn't need it that much anyway.

I had a shower before I joined Harry in bed later that night. I crawled into bed next to him and took off his reading glasses and the book out of his hands, kissing him on the cheek. "You can be proud too Haz, you've been a great boyfriend, husband and parent to those three as well. I know it hasn't always been easy, but you never gave up and you have no idea how much I love you for that." He smiled and slid down under the blankets with me, holding me close to his chest as he softly sang one of our favourite songs into my ear, sending me off to sleep in no time.

Now you’ll lay me down to sleep
Pray the Lord your soul to keep
That your heart if safe with me
If I die before I wake
I’m sorry darlin’ for every mistake I’ve ever made

I could sing you the most beautiful song you’ve ever heard
You could sing along my hummingbird
But you don’t need to sing
I don’t need to play it’ll be alright
I just want you to fall asleep tonight

This is a lullaby… lullaby, lullaby, lullaby
It’s just the way I say goodnight
It’ll be ok, it’ll be alright
This is your lullaby