All of this past

How long can we deny this is a date?

I pushed the on-button on the dishwasher after having put the last plate in it. It had been a fun but tiring birthday party for Sam. His eyes had lit up when he saw his superman cake with 9 candles on top. My little boy was really growing up fast. It was his first birthday when there wasn't a card from David in the mail. It was now too long ago since he died, he wasn't able to send cards this much up front. I think it bothered me more than it bothered Sam though, as well as with Jude's and Kate's birthdays earlier this year. He was just happy with the cards and gifts he got from me, his sisters, his grandparents, his aunt Kendra and Harry. By now it was pretty normal that Harry was invited to parties at our house, the kids loved him, and he was just a marvellous friend. Him and my dad had been talking almost the entire afternoon, catching up to those 21 years they hadn't seen each other. I could hardly believe it was now over a year ago that I wrote him that first letter. I loved having him back in my life, although it scared me too. He confused me, the feelings I got whenever he was around, they were overwhelming and a bit scary, but I tried not to let it get to me and just enjoy the moment. And most of the time, that worked perfectly. There had been more than a few tight hugs and almost kisses, but so far, nothing more had happened, something that left me with mixed feelings too. 

I sat down on the couch, enjoying the silence around the house. Sam was already sound asleep, an hour before his usual bedtime, but he was completely knackered after his party, Kate was upstairs finishing her homework for Monday and Jude was out on a date with Ethan. They were going out for almost three months, and they really seemed to like each other. He had been invited to dinner here a couple of times, and I had to admit I actually liked him too. The urge to rip his head off diminished more and more every time he came around. The fact that he was Harry's nephew helped too, I had called Harry more than once and he always managed to calm me down and reminded me of us when we were their age. Not that that was very comforting, because I knew very well what we both really wanted to do back then. But I made sure there weren't any sleepovers and Jude always had a tight curfew, so I was pretty sure nothing had happened so far. I had tried to talk about it with her, but she had yelled at me with embarrassement. I had left her some condoms and the card from our GP so she could get birth control anyway. No matter how hard it was to imagine my daughter having sex, if she was ready for it, I suppose I had no say in that, but I sure as hell wasn't ready to be a granddad.

I got a little nervous when I thought about next Friday. It was the day of the press release of Harry's new album, with a big and posh party. He could bring someone, and he had asked me. Of course I had accepted, smiling at his rambling about how this didn't mean us going out on a date, he just wanted me to keep him company. Kendra was glad to have the kids over for another sleep over again, as it was already quite a while since they last had been over, so everything was set for us to go out together. It didn't have to mean us going out on a date, but I wondered how much longer we could deny that all those little outings were in fact dates. We went to the movies, to the theatre, just to the pub, he came over here and I even went to his house a couple of times, but we kept on calling it hanging out. Going to a posh party together was getting awfully close to dating though. I was not sure if I really minded, even if it still felt weird to think about dating someone else after David. I was glad Kate and Jude had actually dropped the subject and were just happy to have Harry around, as they too noticed that it made me happy.

My train of thoughts was interrupted when Kate appeared on the couch next to me, cuddling into my side. "Hey sweetie. Finished your homework?" She nodded, crawling on my lap, her eyes trained on the TV. I loved how she still liked to cuddle even though she was 13 now. We watched the movie that was on together, Kate carefully avoiding to look at the clock, hoping I wouldn't notice it was already way past her bedtime. I decided not to care just for today, it was Saturday and Sam didn't have to play football tomorrow, so we could all sleep for a little longer anyway. When the credits were rolling over the screen I finally send her upstairs to bed, as I waited up for Jude to come home from her date.