His Name Is Mugen

For The Best

Tyson dropped me off at Selena's house right after. By "right after" I meant a month and a half later. He wanted to give me time to recover from his abuse and catch up with selena.

Like the fucking gentleman that he is.

By then, he had already gotten his tongue reattached, bribed some doctors to keep shut about my condition, most of my bruises were healed and some pain subsided, he had forcefully made me sign the marriage contract and we had a small ceremony with both our parents in attendance. Not one of them made a comment about my black eye and bruises.

Selena's car was outside so I knew she was home. I went straight to the bathroom to take a shower. Back at Tyson's house, he insisted on showering with me so I just never got a chance to take a legit shower.

I stepped inside the shower and let the hot water rinse the dirt off of me. I was filthy, nasty, and so dirty. I took my washrag, dumped the whole bottle of soap into it, and scrubbed my body. I scrubbed away his touch, I scrubbed away his scent, I scrubbed away the dirt.

I scrubbed and I scrubbed.

But he was still on me.

Why is he on me?

Get off me!

Fuck my life, no matter how much I scrubbed, he wouldn't come off. The dirt wouldn't leave. I could still see it. I could still feel it. He was on me. So scrubbed some more. Scrubbed like I was scraping gunk of the sewer walls. Scrubbed so hard my skin peeled. Scrubbed so hard my flesh started to burn. Scrubbed until I was numb.

I scrubbed and I scrubbed.

But he just wouldn't leave.

GET THE FUCK OFF ME! WHY WONT YOU GET OFF ME?! YOU ASSHOLE! LEAVE ME ALONE! GET OFF ME!

I heard a loud bang on the door. "Sarasi? Are you in there?" Selena yelled. "I heard the water running. You've been in there for four hours. Are you okay in there?"

4 hours? It felt like 4 minutes.

"Who are you yelling at? Is someone in there with you?"

Yelling? I didn't realize that I was yelling. How foolish of me.

"I'm coming in. Open the door!" Selena tugged at the doorknob.

Door? What door? Where am I?

I looked around. This didn't seem like Tyson's bathroom. It was much too small, much too dull and dirty.

Who's house am I in? Where am I? No, no, please no, not again. Please God. Please don't let them hurt me.

"Sarasi please open the door." Selena banged rapidly on the door. Her voice was choked and panicked. The bangs got louder and soon she came crashing in.

She saw me huddled in the far end corner of the shower, shaking. She saw me naked and bare. Abused and afraid. Broken and weak.

Get away from me. Don't look at me.

She came closer and closer until she was standing over me in the shower. She was speaking to me but I couldn't hear her. All I knew was that she was touching me.

Why was she touching me?

No, no, no, not again.

I kicked and punched at her. She accepted each hit without complaints. She was still speaking to me but I couldn't hear her so I read her lips.

"It's me. Selena. It's me. It's me." She said over again.

Her. Selena. It's her.

"I won't hurt you. It's me."

It's Selena. My best friend who wouldn't hurt me. It's her.

I stopped struggling against her and felt her embrace me tightly. We rocked back and forth and I slowly came back to my senses. I became aware of my surroundings. I was back home in the comfort of Selena's arms. The shower's water had turned cold. I was shivering and so was Selena. I could finally hear her soothing voice. I even heard it over this loud piercing scream that didn't die down.

Who was screaming like that?

Oh.

It's me.

Selena stayed in the freezing cold shower and rocked me until I stopped screaming. She rocked me while I whimpered against her soaked dress. She rocked me while I wished I was dead. Bile suddenly rose to my throat. I quickly scrambled to the toilet and hurled my guts out. I kept hurling and hurling. Selena was at my side holding my hair back and patting my back.

She's such a good friend. I should buy her a nice house gift.

"Are you sick?" Selena asked when I was done. Her big green round eyes were wide with worry and her pink lips had turn purple from the cold. I shook my head at her. I wasn't sick. I was something else. Something that I feared.

"If you're not ready to talk about it then I won't ask." Selena said slowly. "However, you're at serious risk. You've been in the shower for four hours in cold water, your flesh is open to bacteria, not to mention you look like a train ran you over. We need to get you some help."

"Abortion clinic." I didn't look at her.

"What?" Selena's voice was filled with shock.

"Abortion clinic." I repeated without hesitation.

"Oh mija. Were you-nevermind it can wait. Are you sure about this?" Her eyes were even wider this time around.

"Positive." I won't bring a child into the world this way. Not when they will be born out of hatred and could be used as leverage against me. Neither I nor them deserve that.

"Alright. Let's go." Selena helped me up. I got dressed quickly and we got to the clinic in record breaking speed. The doctors there kept asking if I was 100 percent positive because once it started, there was no going back. Each time I respond with "positive".

I am 100 percent positive.

The whole entire procedure Selena held my hand, making small circles in my palm. It went quicker than I expected and I kept telling myself it was for the best.

It had to be.