His Name Is Mugen

Girls Night part 1

I've been neglecting this story and I feel bad. I just have a lot going on at the moment being as though it's the end of the semester. Thank God my classes are finished today. All that's left are the finals. Praying for grades that are B and above 🙏🏾
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"We should have a girls night-." Falen suggested with a smile. The morning had dragged on and the afternoon showed no signs of ending soon.

"Hell the fuck no." Selena refused immediately. She huffed deeply causing her bangs to sprang about carelessly.

"-without Megan."

"Then again, maybe we should."

I sighed and laid sprawled on the living room sofa. Our trip was nearing its end and all I wanted to do was end it peacefully. I sincerely doubted Megan would want to join us since she hated all 3 of us but I knew she'd make a big deal out of not being invited. Emilia would throw a fit and I don't need that so if inviting Megan will prevent that, I don't mind. Plus, I think I can take Megan on 1 on 1.

Falen took a sip of her wine. "Don't worry about Ma, I'll handle her." She told me, no doubt reading my expression and guessing what I was about to say. "And do you honestly think Mugie will let you leave the house with Megan accompanying you? Please. Do you want a repeat of what happened two days ago?"

"Perhaps inviting her wouldn't be so bad after all." A malicious grin spread across Selena's face. Her green eyes were wild and scandalously lit up. I knew what she meant and so did Falen. They grinned wickedly at each other, conveying all the misfortunes they wished upon Megan with their eyes.

I pinched the bridge of my nose. 2 days ago, after the whole horse riding incident, Megan and Mugen got into a huge argument over me. Megan accused Mugen of betraying and abandoning his family for me and threatened to kill me should she ever get the chance to be alone with me. Mugen didn't kindly take to her threat.

He doused her in gasoline and was seriously going to light her ass up until I burst in the room and demanded he hand over the lighter. Of course her refused and toss it at her.

Long story short, it took Mathew, Ruben, Neagan, and Alex to drag Mugen out of the house to calm down. Selena, Falen, and I managed to put out the fire before the whole house could catch flames. Emilia work on Megan who was quick to snatch off her clothes and stop, drop, and roll.

She made it with a few minor burn on the outside but I know the flames of rage are invigoratingly burning through her inside.

She hasn't spoken to me or Selena since and Emilia would have thrown us out hadn't Alex came back and sent her to her room.

I haven't seen Mugen since he left but he calls me almost ever other hour to make sure he doesn't have to come back and massacre his entire family. He apologized for not being able to stay with me but he knew if he was around Megan, she'd continue to provoke him until he did something he wouldn't be able to come back from. He made me promise to call him should she try something and left me in the care of Alex, Selena, and Mathew. Ruben and Neagan stayed with him to I guess make sure he didn't go on a homocidal rampage.

I felt bad for him.

He didn't deserve to be outed by his mom and sister just because of me. I felt slightly guilty. I wanted to leave with him but Neagan advised me to stay put.

I hated this.

I needed to be next to my man and giving him unconditional love and support instead of moping around in his parents house waiting to see what other dumbass plan to get rid of me his sister and mother can come up with. I refuse to let them wear me down.

You know, a girls night out sounds good right about now. Fuck Megan and fuck Emilia.

Sorry, but fuck them.

I jumped up from my seat, feeling a burst of energy and newfound confidence. "Let's go out to eat."

"Boring." Falen faked a yawn. "Let's go out to a club and shake our asses."

"Let's do both." Selena clasped her hands together. I frowned. Mugen most surely will not like that.

"Please don't be one of those women who let's a man control every aspect of their life." Falen rolled her eyes. "You're going to a club to have fun, not sell your body to the highest bidder. If you have trouble with temptations in engaging environments, maybe you shouldn't be in a relationship."

I crossed my arms. "I don't want relationship advice or any advice from you."

She took a gulp of her wine. "I'm responsible when I need to be."

"Responsible people don't drink from the wee hours of the morning til past noon." I retorted hotly.

"Like I said, when I need to be." I rolled my eyes.

"So are we going or not? Mamí needs to get rid of some of this energy." Selena started gyrating on nothing.

"Aren't you fucking Neagan?" Falen smirk with a wiggles of her brows.

"No!" Selena answered all too quickly. Red coated her cheeks and Falen burst into laughter.

"As long as you don't have a title you're good." Falen teased. "Once that title or baby comes, things get tricky so have as much fun as you can."

"Speaking of which, where's your baby?" I asked her and immediately regretted it.

Her smile dimmed and her eyes dulled. She swirled her wine around and started halfheartedly in the glass. She looked saddened and regretful. "Mal is the best thing that has ever happened to me but, I can't say I'm the best thing for her."

Silence.

"I got knocked up by one of my many sugar daddies." She explained. "I didn't find out I was pregnant until I was well into it so an abortion was out of the question and I was drinking nonstop prior to finding out so I knew for sure my baby would be all fucked up once they arrived. I felt guilty and fell into depression. I tried eating but would just hurl it up. I got really sick. I just didn't want to deal with it anymore. I didn't everything I could to induce an early delivery and I swear I was going to give her up for adoption but the minute I heard her little cries, I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

Tears silently rolled down her cheek and she let them. My heart pounded against my chest. I was reminded of my own abortion.

Why did I get one in the first place? Was it being selfish? Was I running away? Why did I ruin my chance of hearing the first cry?

I always dreamed of the first cry.

"I knew cps would confiscate her from me if I didn't get my act together. I tried but you live your life one way for so long, it just isn't easy to change." She chuckled bitterly. "My own mother called me a selfish psycho bitch and threatened to have me locked up in an asylum. She didn't think I deserved to be a mother."

She paused and leaned back into her chair. My heart broke for her. I didn't know what to say to ease her pain.

"Of course she was right but still, it hurt to hear nonetheless. I want to believe that I can do better as her mother but I have to be realistic. I'm not in the right state of mind to be a fit parent. Until then, she's with her parental aunt until I'm ready. I know it's not good to pick and choose when you want to parent but I promise you, I just want to do right her her. She deserves the world. My little girl." Her voice started to crack and my own strength was shattering. "She the most beautiful princess I ever laid eyes on and when she smile, I feel the pieces of my life coming back together.

The tears were streaming down her face and I felt them running down mine. She sobbed into her hands and I pulled her into a warm embrace. Selena followed behind me. Falen shook in my arms and I knew she wished she had done things differently.

I kind of wish I had too.

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Shoutout to all the moms and soon to be moms.

To the women who had miscarriages, my heart is with you and just know it wasn't your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty.

To the women who have abortions or put their children up for adoption, it's your choice and if you feel you won't be a fit parent, do what's best for your safety and theirs.

Children are a beautiful blessing and they deserve to have the best of the best, even if that best don't come from a biological parent.