Since Birth

Chapter Twenty

I felt nothing for a very long time that night. I felt nothing but numbness and confusion. An empty shell. My thoughts were distorted upon hearing the news. My head started spinning and I couldn't keep my footing. I fell to my knees screaming and full of tears. I could begin to focus on what they had been saying to me or my parents.
Trevor came beside me and picked me up and held me tightly but I cried and screamed until my voice went hoarse and dry.
It had taken thirty minutes to calm me. Even more. I couldn't believe what I had been hearing. My sister, my life, just gone like that from me. I didn't want to believe it.
The next few hours were grim and full of details of her last moments. They also advised that we didn't go see the body.. She had been mutilated and disfigured, unrecognizable.. When questioned how they knew it was her, they admitted that they didn't. She just matched the description given to them, tall, same shoe size, curly blonde hair.. They had no idea if it was really her. My dad insisted that he went to see the body to confirm it but they were relentless on him not seeing it. They also mentioned that they had Sean in custody and had been questioning him. That's when my father left with them to go down to the station. My mom followed after them not wanting to be left in the dark about it. I stayed. I didn't have the energy to see him. I didn't have the energy to deal with all of this.
"You should try and get some rest." Trevor suggested once the chaos had settled and everyone had left.
"I need to know that she's okay Trevor, I- that's my sister out there. She's-" my voice was breaking the more I tried to speak about it. He put his arms around me tightly smoothing out my hair gently. "Please stay with me." I whispered into his chest.
"I will. " he nodded rubbing my back now. "I'll stay with you." We went to go sit on the couch and I laid my head in his lap. He ran his fingers through my hair gently calming me. I shut my eyes tightly trying not to think about the awful things that had happened to her. The awful things that probably happened to her.. it took me a very long time to fall asleep but I eventually had been tormented with those terrible thoughts of the last moments of her life...

•••

We couldn't learn any more information until Monday. My parents suggested that I still go to school to distract myself from it all. They said they'd figure things out and I shouldn't jeopardize my good grades. They didn't get that she was my other half... A part of me felt like it was missing and lost forever.. Despite the police claims my mom still put up missing posters of my sister.. The latest picture she had taken was from homecoming so she was all dolled up and pretty.. the brightest smile. We had to keep looking regardless, we were determined to find her alive and not in the morgue.
My backpack was full of the fliers when I drove to school. I was going to go around putting them up after school with Kyla and maybe Riley's help.. Riley was being affected by this too because her brother was involved somehow. We didn't talk about it. She just told me she'd help me so I didn't have to do it alone. I wasn't sure if she had known the whole story and I definitely wasn't sure if she'd blow up on me for hiding this all from her..
It was difficult for me to focus on anything but my missing sister. I just woke up thinking about her, trying to feel her.
"Did you hear any news?" Riley whispered to me first period. My eyes were red from crying all weekend. They were swollen actually Sunday and I just got the swelling to go down.
I turned to look at her and gave a small smile saying, "Won't know until my parents call me."
"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but it was hell at my house this weekend." She leaned forward to me saying her last words very quietly. "They think my brother did it."
"Alright class! How are we doing this bright Monday morning?" Mr. Holland said despite there being no sunshine. Not for me anyways. But no one responded leading him to chuckle. People groaned and for some reason he was so cheerful. "Come on people, wake up!"
"We can't, even worse one of our very own is missing." A student spoke up causing Mr. Holland to frown at the news.
"Am I just now learning this?" He asked looking around the class getting nods. I sunk down into my seat. My mom had posted it all over social media and it spread quickly.. Everyone knew my sister was missing. "Who's missing?" He asked and a lot of people looked in my direction. I bit my lip avoiding his gaze and trying to ignore others. "Wow, um I'm sorry, I had no idea."
"They found a body in the river." Another student said and I shot a glare at them.
"Okay we aren't going to talk about that today especially since it's very close to home." Mr. Holland said sternly. "Just remember that there are people here to talk to about it if you need it. And please all of you be respectful, there's mourning going on." I got up from my desk and I left. I couldn't deal with it right now. All of this was too much. People thought she was gone.
I ran to the bathroom and went to the nearest stall and vomited falling to my knees and gripping the disgusting seats. My stomach was filled with so much anxiety. I just needed to know if there was a chance she was still out there. I needed to know what happened to my sister and why it happened to her. Where could she have gone? How could she be taken so easily? I just couldn't believe it.. the wounds in my heart were still fresh. I haven't slept at night because of the nightmares of her running through the woods aimlessly screaming for help.. I sat back against the stall door sobbing and trying to shake myself out of this fit.
There was a knock on my stall followed by a soft voice saying, "Emelie?" It was Riley.
"Please," I shut my eyes tightly. "Leave me alone."
"Mr. Holland let me come after you. I'm literally going to punch everyone in the face if they keep bringing it up. I'm sorry I brought it up." She placed her hand against the door. "I also want you to know that my brother would never hurt anyone." Her last statement had made me angry because he had hurt her before. She was clueless. She had no idea what her brother was capable of.
I shot up throwing open the door to see her standing there sadly looking at me with so much pity. "Your brother hurt my sister before." She looked over my face and frowned thinking I was telling a fib.
"No, he would never hurt anyone Em, I know him."
"Well you don't know him well enough!" I raised my voice to her now because she wasn't understanding and it was frustrating me. I was on the verge of crying again as I told her, "He hurt me."
Her face hardened and she began to shake her head at me in denial. "No." She said holding up her hand and then darting her eyes trying to think about it. "Emelie don't say that." Tears began to well up in her eyes. "You don't know him like I do."
"Well then you clearly don't know your brother Riley!" She didn't believe me. I couldn't believe that she didn't believe me.
"You're lying, why do you have to lie about something like this? My family is on edge right now fighting for his innocence! How dare you say this!" She was screaming at me now looking as if she was about to get physical with me. I tensed up and I shook my head at her wishing she had known better.
"I can't believe you're standing by what he's said." I scoffed and she gave a short laugh throwing her hands up in the air.
"He's my brother!" She got in my face now and I clenched my jaw trying to keep it together.
"And she's my sister, one of your best friends Riley. He abused her and hit her when he felt like it!"
"Well maybe if she didn't sleep around with everyone this wouldn't have happened to her isn't that right? If she just kept it in her pants we wouldn't be looking for her!" I was baffled at her. I pushed her out of the way and walked out of the bathroom as she screamed at me.
"Your sister was a slut!" I turned to look at her blinded by so much rage and anger. I balled up my fist and cut my eyes at her.
"You should take that back Riley. You know better." I warned and she laughed.
"Your sister was a manipulative and compulsive liar." She spat at me. "My brother probably never touched her!" I just lost it. I didn't mean to lose it but I did. I attacked her.
We fell to the ground and tumbled around hitting at one another. She fought back and was vicious too. I didn't expect her to be as strong as she was but her punches hurt me. Oddly I felt a big release from it all. I wanted her to hit me more. I needed this outlet.
The bell rang and she had me by the hair and slammed me against the floor. My ears began to ring and for a second my vision left me.
"Break it up!" I heard a teacher scream and she was pulled off of me. My head was throbbing and it took me a long time to focus. Someone helped me off the ground and I still wanted to fight her. I was thrashing at her screaming for her to take it back. Blood filled my mouth from her hits and standing up made the blood fall down my face. I probably looked like a monster. I was furious though and no one could calm me down. It took about two teachers to hold me back. I was just blinded by rage.
"She started it!" Riley screamed and Mr. Holland came into the picture with just a look of shock.
"I told Riley to go after her, I had no idea." He told Mr.X. They hauled me off to the office as I began to cry uncontrollably. Everyone stopping to stare at us and I was just inconsolable.
It took a half an hour before I could just relax. I was shaking and the nurse had to clean me up. She was saying how sorry she had been and how she knew our family for a long time. It was tragic. Eventually I went back to the office where Riley was sitting with her arms crossed looking at me. I couldn't stand to look at her right now. The things she had said about my sister just lingered in my head.
"Em I'm so sorry." She said but I didn't acknowledge her. Mr.Holland was talking to Mr.X right beside us shaking his head in bewilderment.
"I was not made aware until this morning," he explained. "I had no idea that he was involved. Riley and Emelie are best friends so I sent her after her when the class began to talk about it." I sat down licking my now swollen lip and Mr.Holland looked to me sympathetic. "They are both really good students and it's an unfortunate event that's unraveled but there's a lot of tension. You should take it easy on them." Mr. X nodded and then looked to me.
"Ms. Meyer." He smiled weakly to me and I got up following him into his office. He had a deep sigh as he sat down at his desk. "I know this is going to be a difficult time for you and I understand your rage and anger to an extent. You've always been an excellent student and such a wonderful kid and helper so I'm just going to issue you a stern warning." I wanted him suspend me so bad but I knew if I missed school I'd lose my distractions. "If you feel angry or upset," he continued looked over my face. "Please either reach out to me, Mr. Holland, your counselor or any of the staff and we won't hesitate to help you out. This is a very tragic time for you and all of us, I just hope you know how sorry I am personally." He sighed and put his hands on the desk. "Other than that I think you should keep your head down and if it's more comfortable we can get all of your work here in the office and you can finish the day that way." I took the latter. I couldn't be around my peers today and so I just was put into a small office where I was given all of my assignments to do. It was better for everyone that way.
Coach had told me not to worry about gym class and told me to go home if I needed to. I took the bait and was ready to go home by last period. I was stopped by Trevor who ran after me calling my name.
"Emelie!" I stopped walking and turned to look at him figuring I was all bruised up and swollen. He looked over my face and grimaced. "So the rumors are true." He frowned and then reached out to touch my face. I winced and stepped back from him shaking my head.
"Riley said some really mean stuff about Aimee." I sucked my teeth and he frowned.
"Yikes." I looked to the ground biting my lip. "I thought you all were best friends seems pretty unfair for her to lash out like that to you when you need friends the most."
"She's a lot stronger than she looks." I looked up to him beginning to feel vulnerable and the anxiety build back up in my stomach. "Could you come home with me?" I decided to ask because I needed someone right now. I needed some support. I knew I was giving him the puppy dog eye look and he caved in the moment I said, "I don't have anyone else."
"Of course Emelie, I'm here for you okay? For all of this. We are going to find Aimee." He sounded hopeful, like he just knew she was alive as I had hoped she was.

We drove around putting up the fliers. Kyla eventually joined us, her eyes were red but she kept trying to hide them with her bangs. We gave her a stack and she hopped into my car as we made rounds around Red Hue. She was quiet... we all were quiet. I think we all were blaming ourselves for this, knowing we should have done more.
We started handing fliers to people, some taking a double glance when it was I who handed it to them. We were identical. Aimee only had a few distinctive qualities like her eyes and beauty mark on her face. Still people stared at me for reference but no one gave any answers. So we dropped Kyla off and Trevor took over driving back to my house.
"Did we get rid of them all?" He asked and I was staring down at my phone biting my nails. I was waiting for my parents to call me. I knew from watching criminal minds that after three days they were most likely gone. It had been two days so far, three since we last saw her. My parents we going to go identify the body after they had cleaned her and made her a bit recognizable.. I was afraid to hear the news. I was afraid that I wouldn't accept it was my sister.
"Emelie?" I turned to look at Trevor and then my phone went off in my lap. I grabbed it up and answered, not even taking the time to see who it was.
"Hello?" My voice was shaky. "Hello?" I said again and my father answered.
"Emelie, your mother and I decided that we needed you here with us." He sounded sad.. a little scared but mostly sad.
"At the morgue?" I tripped over my words. I was unsure if I could handle it.
"We haven't looked at her yet, we want you here with us."
"Okay." The phone clicked and I turned to look back at Trevor. "We have to go there."
"Are you sure?" He asked and my glare gave him his answer. He started driving and I bit down harder on my nails in anticipation.
The hospital was just past downtown making it a straight run. We got there in no time and I hopped out of the car as soon as he stopped. I just began to speed walk in seeing my mom and dad together getting up as I approached. My dad immediately embraced me and my mom followed after him kissing my head and squeezing me tightly.
"This is going to be difficult." My father reminded me and a guy in a completely black outfit was waiting for us it seemed. I turned back to look at Trevor and he stood back nodding and then saying, "I'll be right here. I'll be waiting right here." I turned back to my parents who were already moving with the guy.
We all gathered into the elevator in silence just building on the anxiety.
"She's just right through here." The guy finally said as the doors opened. I felt like the elevator compressed me even further and I was going to burst the moment I got off. My dad grabbed my hand and squeezed it doing the same to my mother.
We followed him down to another room where you could see the outline of a body on the table. Stiff and unmoving.. You could see her shoulders were thin and and her collar bone protruding.
"We haven't done enough to figure out what caused her death. But if you could look at her and let me know if she has had any identifiable marks, tattoos or anything." He was very calm about this. Unfortunately he probably has done this so many times. "I have to warn you that this will be very difficult to see."
"Yes we were told already." My dad was impatient and the guy picked up on it and removed the sheet. I immediately cowered into my father shoving my face in his arms so I couldn't see her. My mom let out a loud cry but my father stiffened remaining silent for a moment.
"That's not my daughter." He said inaudible to the others. "That's not my little girl!" That's when I pulled away from him to look at the girl lying on the table. She lacked color and life.. the only color she had remained in her long golden locs that lay beside her cold shoulders. Her eyes were closed and you could see where they tried to make her look better. Her face was beaten to a pulp, someone had destroyed this little girl but I knew it wasn't my sister.
"Emelie." My dad said sternly as I neared the body immediately feeling the cold air waft towards me. I looked down to her face seeing the bruises that would forever be on her body and never heal. The cuts and marks from them opening her.. The strangulation marks around her throat, hand prints forever marked on her. I felt awful for this poor girl, but when I touched her cold and hardened body I knew for sure it wasn't her. It wasn't Aimee. Yet tears still streamed my cheeks.
There was relief but also worry. If that wasn't her, where could she have gone?
I turned back to my parents and I shook my head at them saying, "That's not her, that's not my sister."