Since Birth

Chapter Thirty One

I needed to know the reason why she thought it was him. All of the evidence she had that led her in that direction.
So I had texted my father and told him that I was going to stay the night at Leigh's. told him that we barely got a dent in our project and it was due soon. He sent a short text saying it was okay and that I should answer his calls next time so he doesn't worry.
Meanwhile Leigh had brought in food for me and laid out this timeline of events that had happened around the disappearance of Camille in relation to my father. The main thing was my parents divorce. When my mother had kicked my father out of the house, he seemed to have fell off the face of the earth. We hadn't heard from him, my mom claimed she hadn't and he just disappeared. He even retired as mayor during the divorce. Leigh claimed that was his trigger. That he had built up so much anger and lost so much that he had lost control of himself. She said that she had met my father before and remembered how charming and charismatic he had been. He could get anyone to listen to him I knew that. I just didn't want to believe he had gone this far but he was the only suspect she had it seemed.
"It's just he fits so well into the brackets created for this mystery Emelie and I know it's not the best news to hear."
"I just don't want to believe it Leigh, I love my dad and he's been nothing but supportive for me and Aimee. When he left, we were broken as a family. He was what kept us all together." I drew in my bottom lip remembering how angry he had been just the other day.. my mother cowering and sinking below him in fear.. "He, like everyone, has a dark side but I want to believe there is no motive for him to murder these innocent women."
"Well, they are all young and resemble you and Aimee." She spread out the pictures of the victims. "My guess is that he could no longer see you and was furious about it so he destroyed any female that resembled you."
"That would mean that he blamed us for the divorce, that he wanted to harm us?"
"No, he loves you and blames your mom for taking you away from him. To inflict fear to her and wear her down, he murdered girls similar to you."
"There's got to be another suspect, someone else besides my father." I looked to her trying to get her to at least mention someone else.
She sighed and opened her folder of things trying to appease me. "Well," she began to say pushing her hair from her face. "I considered someone younger and less aware of how toxic they could be. Someone that had been rejected by one female and felt all females owed him something. Someone still in the public eye," she flipped through shaking her head and shrugging. "Someone at school that volunteers at the city? A teacher, a student- someone."
"What about Sean? My sisters ex?" I asked hoping she had anything on him.
"I really haven't considered him because he is kinda stupid?"
"He sexually assaulted me and abused Aimee. He has anger like no other, I wouldn't be surprised if he had done this."
"But he started dating Aimee when the first disappearance occurred." She looked up to me searching my face. "We should let it go for the night and you should eat." She got up from the bed and gathered up all of the info she had to put away.
I began to eat some of the food she left beside me. Some form of tortilla and shredded meat.
"I just wanted this to be over you know?" I confessed to her eating some of the rice. "It's just not going to and it's only going to pull my life apart. I'm just so ready to move on." I pulled my sleeves over my hands and sunk a little hoping she understood. She reached out and placed her hand on my thigh comfortingly.
"Not a lot of people know this about me but just a few years ago my father in a rage had murdered my mom and then killed himself while me and my sister slept." She bit her lip gently trying to hold back tears. "We were so used to them arguing that we had fell asleep together that night hoping they would eventually stop and go to sleep." She took a deep breath in fighting back the tears I could see welling up in her eyes. "When we got up the next morning it- it was a horrific sight. Blood was everywhere and my sister made me leave the room but I saw them, I saw my mom dead and bled out in the living room floor. My father with a pillow over his head in the bedroom with nothing but blood soaking the sheets." She wiped her eyes and looked up to me afraid and so so sad. It was making me tear up for her.."he left a note that said he was sorry to us and that was the last time we ever saw either of them so yeah, my sister is bitter and has not dealt with it properly and honestly neither have I because it was awful. It was dreadful seeing my mom-" her face twisted up and she was trying to fight the tears still but no longer could hold it back. I pulled her towards me and wrapped my arms around her tightly hoping that I could bring some kind of comfort to her without telling her that it would be okay. I couldn't imagine at all what she had gone through but for her to tell me this, something so fresh and still painful to her- It took a lot of strength.
Her hands gripped my shirt as she still fought the tears and pain. I still held her rubbing her back as her head rested on my shoulder. It took her a moment to get herself back but I was more than willing to stay like this until she had felt better. I could only wish that someone had been there to hold me when I questioned the world and why things happened the way they had.
She pulled away from me slowly frowning to herself and trying to catch her breath. Her cheeks were reddened and her eyes were still wet when she looked up to me again. I tried to give a warming smile but I didn't know really what to do or say.
My lips parted as I thought for a second and I looked away for a moment and looked back to her sympathetic. "I'm always here if you need me and want to talk." I licked my bottom lip as she searched my eyes making me feel like she expected me to say more. "Um," I paused and began to nod to myself and continued, "You're not alone, ever Leigh."
Her face had relaxed and she seemed to come back to herself. She bit her lip nervously I'm assuming thinking of the correct response but she didn't say anything. Instead, she had leaned forward and her lips fell against mine. She kissed me... My body had tensed at first surprised because I had never kissed a girl before, not like this anyways. There was an overwhelming amount of feelings I had towards it. I didn't really know how to respond or react so I just sat there as she continued to kiss me. A part of me felt like confused with my sexuality because it wasn't bad at all I mean, her lips were soft and gentle like a bed of flowers. She smelt nice and I felt a real connection with her, way before this kiss..
When I didn't respond she immediately pulled away and shook her head like she was going to be in trouble for kissing me. She looked even more like a child about to be scolded by their parents for stealing a piece of candy.
"I'm sorry Emelie, I don't-" she searched my face fearful like she had just ruined everything. "I didn't mean to-" she shut her eyes tightly and I just placed my hand on her thigh still very airheaded about the whole thing.
"It's fine," I tried to laugh it off but I was just so unsure about it. "It was just a kiss." I licked my lips tasting the honey from her chapstick on my lips. "Really." I assured her trying to think of a way to make her feel less uncomfortable. It was a snap thought but I leaned towards her and kissed her, quickly though, on the lips and then exclaimed, "Now we are even!"
She laughed and her eyes smiled as she did making me feel better about the whole thing. "You're really sweet." She looked to me before getting up from the bed sighing to herself and trying to change the subject. "Can I get you anything?" She asked pointing towards the door and trying as best as she could to not look at me but she couldn't seem to help herself.
"Water?" She nodded quickly and then hurried out of the room.
I got up from the bed and let out a long breath trying to hold myself together. I never ever thought that I would kiss a girl. I think I was torn now because really a part of me wanted to kiss her more. I was so very confused and so I walked around her room trying to distract myself by looking at her drawing and paintings on the wall.
She was a very good artist and I couldn't deny that. What I do deny is thinking she was straight even though all of her paintings were of women. All of them were girls, pretty and some of them drawn, with very detailed bodies like she had studied them. My eyes fell down to her desk where she had a sketch book there labeled with a heart. Being curious I began to flip through the pages seeing different kinds of artistic styles of girls portraits. Some so realistic that they resembled a photo shoot. I continued on until I flipped past something familiar.. I saw my eyes.
I flipped back to a drawing that looked like me. I ran my fingers across the scratches she had made with her pencils on the paper. I was smiling and I looked younger, my hair was up in ponytails and it was a black and white drawing of me except my eyes were colored in. It was me back when I was cheering. It looked as if she had taken a picture of me. I flipped through more seeing more than five others that was me. I closed the book feeling invasive now as I turned back to the door.
She was in the doorway and she had two glasses of water in her hands. "Sorry," she laughed nervously looking to me. "I had to help my sister with something." Her eyes diverted from me to her desk and her smile faded. Her face went red and she became tense.
"That's okay," I tried to play it off and walked away from her desk. I didn't want her to feel even more uncomfortable than she already had so I didn't bring it up. Instead I walked back over to her bed and sat as she came to join me, handing me the glass of water. "Thanks for letting me stay the night." I held the glass tightly and she nodded.
"Yeah, it's no problem as I said before, I enjoy the company." I took sips from the glass and she fell back on her bed sighing deeply. "And I'm sorry I kissed you, I completely misread the entire thing. You know I never told anyone what happened to my parents so I got really emotional."
"Please, like I said before, it was just a kiss." I looked down to her as she stared up at the ceiling. I sighed myself and laid down beside her and grabbed her hand and squeezed it tightly. "It wasn't bad by any means either. My worse kiss was with Aidan." I laughed reminiscing of everyone I once shared my lips with. "It was my first kiss too and it was- something." I let go of her hand and turned on my side to look at her. "I guess I've been trying to see how many people I can make out with before I graduate." I was partly joking partly serious. There was nothing more that I wanted than a good relationship with someone. Everyone I had wanted before couldn't work out and so now it felt like a race for time. Could I possibly find love by just kissing whoever I wanted?
"So you are looking for fun and not a relationship?" She asked turning her head slightly towards me guilty like. Maybe not guilt but something, I couldn't tell. But I had noticed her fidgeting increased when she mentioned a relationship. "I mean-" she began to backtrack looking back to the ceiling. "Are you not looking for someone?"
"I'm really not sure what I'm looking for." I admitted to her being completely honest. I had no clue right now. Everything so far had just sent me into a whirlwind of confusion.
"Well if you're not sure," she began to say sitting up quickly and looking down to me. "And I'm not sure," she picked at her fingers and drew in her bottom lip nervously. "Could we try together?"
I sat up quickly looking over her face knowing where this was going. There was a twinge of curiosity that washed over me as I thought how it wouldn't hurt to try. I could tell that she wanted to as if she had begged god for the chance.
"It couldn't hurt." I mainly told myself but spoke out loud to make myself believe it more. "Let's try." I nodded quickly deciding that it was going to happen. We were going to see where this would go. Fun, or a relationship?
Her eyes instantly fell to my body admiring the little curves I had nibbling at her lip. I could tell she had already fantasized about touching me and had her mind set on what she was going to do. I wanted her to take the lead, I wanted her to show me.
I began to sort of mimic her behavior by looking at her sharp and small shoulders, imagining how they felt without her shirt on, running my fingers across her defined collar bone. I imagined she'd feel frail and cold, shaking from nerves of having me touch her- That thought alone had gotten me excited and ready to feel her lips. Knowing that she had wanted this, had wanted me, sent my mind into a frenzy. I convinced myself that I now wanted her too.
She must've noticed my change in thought because she had bounced forward brushing her fingers across my cheek so she wouldn't miss the chance. I slid my hand up her thigh and our lips made contact. It was different than before because now I had been caught up in thinking of her being wrapped around me. I began to kiss her more rapidly becoming overwhelmed with this lustful feeling of having her. It was like a switch had gone off and I was going after it, enveloping in this feeling of being lusted after. I hadn't realized before how much of a turn on it had been.
I nibbled at her lip breathing erratically nearly clawing at her clothes. She was going with it, moaning so and sliding her hand up my side and underneath my breast. Our breathing quickened and her lips broke away from mine hungrily down to my chin kissing and pulling me into her to now take the lead. She kissed down to my neck licking up to my ear and cradling my left breast before moving her hand down over my belly button to the top of my pants. My interest had peaked when she had stopped kissing my lips. I believed I was beyond stopping her. I felt I had made up my mind that I had wanted this when I touched her.
My pants were just loose enough that her small and delicate hand slipped inside and above my lace panties. She giggled and moaned excitedly when I had relaxed feeling this sort of surge go through me the moment she did. I had let out a very audible gasp that suppressed into a moan as I tried to cover my mouth. I laughed nervously myself and she had pushed me back onto the bed where I could now stare up at the ceiling. She was wasting no time with me, moving as if there was a stopwatch somewhere counting down to when I would change my mind. I was just so caught up in how amazing this felt that I knew I wouldn't want her to stop. It was a different kind of feeling, a different kind of excitement and experience I never knew I needed. My body was reacting in a way I never had. I was twitching and twisting my body to get to feel more of her. I could feel that crotch of my panties were now wet and inviting of what was to come next.
Her other hand, cold, had slipped up my shirt finally touching my bare skin. Before she continued she had whispered quietly in my ear, "Is this okay?" I nodded happily bringing my hips forward so I could feel her more thoroughly.
She has pushed her thigh into my pelvis moaning right into my ear giving my goosebumps all up my back and arms. She rubbed her fingers above my panties and my legs began to shake having this painful lust build in the pit of my stomach.
Now I had the sudden urge to ask her if she wanted me. Now I needed a verbal confirmation to be sure I was not making a mistake, that I was not wrapping myself in something that would be unfulfilling or wasted after. Her speed increased as she still touched me in what seemed like such an innocent way. We were both fully clothed still and only her hands were touching me as our hips grind into one another, hers putting more pressure into mine.
Finally between a moan I had asked her softly, "Do you want me?" As sexual as I could bringing my hands down to her back pulling her closer into me. "Tell me you want me." I breathed into her feeling her legs squeeze mine tightly.
Her lips sought mine and we kissed messily both of us panting and breathing hard.
"Yes," she bit my lip and kissed me finally responding to my question. "I want you." She moaned into my lips shaking, grabbing me and moving her finger in a circular motion underneath my pants. My hands fell down her back grabbing her tightly at her curves. My body began to convulse as I lost control of my tongue and my breath for a moment.
"I want you." She now nibbled at my ear and i felt I had lost control of myself as my body spasmed, jumping forward into her. My head fell back into the blankets as my toes curled and my eyes rolled to the back of my head. My legs had tightened allowing the sensation to travel evenly throughout my body savoring every bit of it. It had taken me a moment but I had gotten my breath back letting out a deep and almost whiny moan breathing hard into her soft hair.
If I wasn't mistaken, I had just experienced my first orgasm.... And it was with her.. She removed her hand and slipped it around my waist as I lie still trying to recover from the intensity. I was also quite embarrassed with myself.. I wasn't sure what I had just experienced but it felt amazing apart from the fact that it now felt like I had pissed myself.
"Wow," she finally said running her hand over my shirt now. "That was-"
I sat up quickly looking to her with pleading eyes. I didn't want to talk about it. Her face shifted and she looked down biting her lip catching the memo.
"We should sleep don't you think?" She said instead and I nodded shameful and unable to return the favor. I wasn't really sure how to go about that or really what to do about this now. All of the thrill had left me when she had- um.... now I felt the weight of my actions.