Since Birth

Chapter Fifty Four

Eventually I had talked Trevor off the ladder of wanting to kill Jax, though he was still very clear about wanting to harm him.
"I-I'm gonna wring his cocky throat the next time I see him. I mean, I mean how could they let him back knowing what happened to-" he looked to me and then down at the table trying to calm himself down.
We were sitting in the library with Nolan and Leigh, who I had told them briefly about what had happened a day after the standoff. Whenever it was brought up, Trevor went ballistic about how everything was being handled and how much he wanted to skin Jax. It was the only way he could seem to deal with since he regretted he hadn't punched Jax when he immediately saw him that day. He just kept beating himself up over it all. The night it had happened when he cried he admitted that he had been talking to his coach right outside of the locker rooms. He hated that he hadn't left sooner, he thought that if he had, it wouldn't have happened. He was beating himself up hard over it.
He put his hands over his face and sighed falling back in the seat. "I'm driving myself mad."
"Rightfully so, I mean, he deserves everything coming to him." Nolan agreed with Trevor which only made him angrier because his violence was being encouraged.
"I just want one moment alone with him, just five minutes so I can smash his head into a wall!" He slammed his fist into the palm of his hand springing back up.
"I'll help you, I can lure-" Nolan began and Leigh placed her hand in his lap to silence him.
"If you guys see him, tell me." Trevor got up shaking his head mainly to himself. "I just have to walk it off." He clenched his jaw tightly tightening his fist once more. "I'll see you guys later." He walked off without even looking to me when he did. The feeling washed over me that he would maybe become resentful and give me the silent treatment like Aidan once had. I shouldn't have thought that way but I couldn't help myself.
"Holy shit!" Nolan called out jumping up from his seat startling both me and Leigh simultaneously. He moved quickly from his seating pointing towards the door where two large windows were. We could see through them but could not hear it clearly. Trevor was in the hall and he was getting physical with someone else.
Nolan hurried to the door and we followed after him quickly as I saw Trevor holding Jax onto the floor with his forearm pressed into his neck screaming.
"You're a piece of shit!" He moved his arm and Jax laughed only making Trevor more furious. He went for a hit and Jax punched him in the gut, knocking him to the floor. Jax hopped up and grabbed Trevor by the shirt, picking him off of the ground. He swung and Trevor ducked tackling him hard into the opposite the wall.
They tussled and the librarian frantically dialed for help. I pushed open the door not really knowing what to say but gasping at the sight of blood. That's when Nolan stepped in and between the two risking being hit by aimless blows.
Leigh grabbed my hand and pulled me back so I wouldn't intervene. Nolan handled it as quickly as he could, shoving Jax back into the wall as he grinned with blood falling down his face and teeth.
"She liked it you know?" He spat blood in Trevor's direction lifting a wild brow. "She moaned a little when I touched her in her no no spots!" He lied only adding to the story to egg Trevor on further. Leigh left my side and went to grab Trevor who was ready to charge at him once more. "Bet she's glad she lost her innocence to me and not-" I could no longer deal with his lies. I ran towards him and I began to hit him screaming at him as my fists reined down. I had never really done this before so there was a guarantee that I didn't do much damage but I was angry. I just kept hitting and screaming and crying until someone stepped in to pull me away from him. I scratched at him as they did and was hysterical even as they pulled me away. I couldn't see past my tears and could only focus on the thoughts racing through my head. How he laughed this off as a joke infuriated me. How he lied about what happened and fluffed his story to get a reaction out of Trevor and me. Now I understood why Trevor had been so angry about it all because he was a prick. The rules just didn't apply to him.

"Em, Emelie." I had finally looked up from my lap seeing Trevor walking towards me wearing his jersey now instead of his shirt. "I'm sorry I escalated the situation and further involved you in the brawl," he apologized looking up to me showing bandaged cut on the side of his face. His hair fell over his forehead but I could see a bandage peaking through there too. "I should have controlled my anger better than I had and showed control the moment I saw him. I just-"
"Please," I said softly lifting my hand a little to stop him. "I just want to go home."
He came to sit beside me and grabbed my hand to hold it tightly as he sighed. "I won't bring it up anymore, I won't even dare mention his name." He spoke quietly now looking to me from the side. "I won't let him have control."
"Ms. Meyer?" We both looked up to the secretary looking over the top of her desk to us. She pointed behind her and we looked to see my dad standing in the doorway.
I got up and walked over to him ready to explain everything that happened. I didn't want Trevor taking all the heat for this. He was already on my dads no list after that night..
"Dad," I began to say and he held his hand up to stop me. He looked to Trevor and gave a sort of encouraging nod. I looked back to Trevor furrowing my brows at this unspoken connection between them. Like my fathers nod was thanking him. Maybe I was reading far too into it but I picked up on it. I looked back to my dad and he took in a breath looking down to me with a smile.
"I'm taking you home." He said and I looked back to Trevor again cutting my eyes.
"I'm fine, I can go back with Trev-"
He shook his head to stop me saying, "No, come on. I've got to get back to work." He frowned a little. "You've spent enough time already with him."
"Seriously I can just finish the day out." I looked down shrugging and putting my arms around myself. I didn't want to be alone right now and if he was going back to work, I didn't want to go home.
He grabbed my shoulder and pulled me forward clicking his tongue. "Emelie let's just go okay?"
Reluctantly I went with but was sure to look back to Trevor mouthing, "please come by." As I was ushered out of the door. He nodded and so I went home with my dad.
Before he had left he had made me a bowl of chicken noodle soup and got me a oversized blanket to sit on the couch with. He put cartoons on the television like I was a child again and kissed my forehead before he left saying, "I'll be back home before you know it. Try and get some rest sweetie." Completely bringing me back to when I was a kid and he'd come pick me up from school when I had fell ill. It was comforting and for a little while after he left, I felt better and safe. There just was no longer a babysitter here to watch over me, admiring my father and crushing on him too.
I rolled my eyes at that thought and nestled down into my blanket polishing off the rest of the soup. My mind began to wander to how many of my babysitters my dad might have slept with. I was curious if the babysitter is who he had an affair with. My rose colored glasses had been off for a while now and I was revisiting my life and trying to really patch the timeline together. I'm sure there were things I saw that I didn't understand until now.
I was restless now and curious about the life of my father. I got off of the couch just as the doorbell rang. I went to peak through the window and saw that it was Trevor before I had opened it.
"How are you doing?" He asked quickly pushing me into the house and to my surprise, kissed me instantly as I fell back into a wall pressing my hand on his chest. I was trying not to laugh but it tickled me that he jumped right to it. "I've been wanting to do that all day." He admitted smiling and sorta backing off of me. "Sorry," he ran his fingers through his hair. "How are you doing?" He bit his lip and I chuckled scratching my head.
"I'm better now that you're here." I continued to laugh looking over his smiling face. I was really glad he was here and that his attitude had changed drastically from this morning. I was glad he always kept his word. "Um, do you want to help me with something top secret?" I asked him picking at my fingers nervously.
"Of course." He nodded quickly looking over me and then frowning with a small laugh. "With what?"
"I want to snoop on my dad." I nodded and he widened his eyes sort of shocked.
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I nodded again and he sighed knowing he wouldn't be able to change my mind.
"I still need to rule him out." I admitted and his shoulders sank realizing it was because of the murders. Well if Aimee was never kidnapped, that entire story was a hoax and that murderer was still out there. He could still be a suspect. I explained this all to him before we ventured to my dads study. Luckily for us he had forgotten to lock the door giving us easy access to look through his things and any documents that might give him a motive. I was just really hoping I'd find nothing or figured out what really ended my parents marriage.
"Be careful." I reminded him as I ticked my hair behind my ear and searched his desk carefully. "Make sure to leave things exactly how he left it, he's picky."
"Your dad despises me already." He groaned searching the couch cushions. "What exactly are we looking for again?" I looked up to him shaking my head and he rolled his eyes. "You don't know how terrifying your dad is Em."
"Which is why I'm looking for anything to show me otherwise."
"Do you really think he's capable of murder though?" He kept saying things to stop me, like he was trying to steer me away from finding the truth. "I mean, I know things were harsh after the divorce but murder?" He laughed to himself while continuing searching. I was trying to ignore him, pulling at any drawer to see if it was unlocked. Everything was sealed tight and tidy. Nothing stood out like a sore thumb in this room.
I turned to look out the window sighing and just wishing I'd get a little answers.
"Whoa." Trevor said quietly and I perked up turning to face him as he said more clearly, "I think I found something." I moved over to him quickly seeing him pulling a black box from off top of the bookshelf. "It's heavy." He motioned for me to come over and I did going to help him remove the medium sized box. It sort of looked like a letter box of some sort. All black, easy to miss in this room. He sat down and I sat beside him impatient as he removed he lid carefully.
Just as I suspected it was full of letters addressed to my father, some unopened cards it looked like and a silver necklace with a half a heart. Something you'd see a teenager give her best friend or lover. It seemed very innocent and clean. I was reluctant to look at one of the letters but I felt closer to the actual truth.
"Look," Trevor pulled one out that was addressed to me. Only my name neatly written on the front. He pulled out another and it had Aimee's name on the front, behind that one was one dressed to my mom Sandra. It wasn't my fathers handwriting, or my mothers but it looked female. "Birthday cards for you guys too." He continued to look through it laughing.
I took the letter addressed to me from his hands and turned it over to see if there was anything to indicate who it was from. It made me anxious and a bit angry that I had never seen it before, any of this. What did it even mean?
"When is your dad coming home?" He asked nudging me as I sat frozen impending doom as I looked to this letter. Out of everything in the box, this one affected me the most. I was afraid of what to do next. Should I read it?
"W-why does he have these? How come I've never seen it? I mean it's already opened!" I blank several times shaking my head. I was making myself upset over it. "And who is it from?"
"Open it Em, read the letter." I looked up to him and he gave a small shrug furrowing his brows at how upset I looked over this. "It has your name on it, you have the right to read it."
"But what if he kept it from me for a reason?"
"Then let me." He slipped the envelope from my hands and carefully took out the one page hand written letter from inside. It was all in cursive that much I could see and it was brief. His eyes looked over it, sighing as he finished. He frowned too like he was confused so I had just taken it from him and read it to myself. Just as confused as he had been, I began to read it:

Dear Emelie,

I know you would never forgive me for what I've done to your family. Hell, I can't even forgive myself because I had never once been a home wrecker in my entire life.... I just hope you forgive me and especially forgive your father for it was not his fault. Just know I never wanted any of this to happen and neither did your dad. I just figured it was about time I had introduced myself to you girls, it's very important that I do. I love your father and I want this to work out for all of us in the end. I just hope you understand and forgive me. My child needs someone like you to look up to. I hope to meet you soon.

All my best,
Camille