Roomates In Love-Jake webber

chapter 9

Mentions of suicide and depression. A sad chapter.

*two weeks later*

I think my dad has gave up on watching me for now. Colby knows about me and jake. He promised to keep a secret. Me and jake have been getting into some arguements over some stupid stuff. Ive been drinking alot more lately. Just last week me and jake got into it for some unknown reason. We ended saying some stuff and I left the house and went to kats place.

*Week earlier*

"You know what Jake maybe if yoy stop leaving your trash around everywhere the house would look alittle bit descent." I say. "What has gotten into you?! You are yelling at me for no reason." He yells. "I wasn't even yelling. Im just tired of  you being so fucking messy!" I yelled. "Now your yelling!" He yelled back. "Cause you are fucking making me! God you are so fucking annoying!" I yelled. "Fine if Im so fucking annoying. How about you leave." He says. "Fine...Im going to kats place." I say gathering clothes.

"Good. Better than you being here." he says. Me and him said some more regretting stuff all the way to the front door. Then we both said things we highly regret. "You know. I could of had a degree. But I met you. You ruined it." I say. "I wish you never even had to stay here." he says. We both said nothing and I slammed the door shut.

Tears went down my face as I went to kats place.

*flashback over*

"Y/n you and jake have to make up. You and him need each other." Kat says. "He doesnt need me. He wished he never met me. I remember those words." I say sipping a cup of coffee. "He didnt mean it." She says. "Yeah sure he didnt." I say with sarcasm. "Y/n? I dont think you understand how much he loves you." She tells me. "Then why hasnt he texted?" I asked. "Probably why you havent texted." She says. I shrugg. "Well think about it because I have a class to go to." She says. I nodded.
When she left I pulled a bottle of vodka. I drink my sadness away now. I was really going through. I never been this upset since 12. My phone vibrated. I looked at it and it was a text message.

Jake: Hey...

Me: what...

Jake: please meet me at Blue Moon Cafe. I want to apologize in person. Not over text. Please.

I sigh and roll my eyes.

Me: Fine. When?

Jake: is 1 okay.

Me: fine.

Jake: see you then.

Me: mm

I got up and took a shower and brushed my teeth. I was drinking lots of water. I didnt wear makeup. I got dressed and left kats house. I was on my way to the cafe. When I got there I saw him waiting. He still looked the same. Cute? Dumb hair? Dumb face. The things I miss about him.

I walked in and sat down in his booth. "Y/n? You came?" He says with a smile. "Well of course I would. I had to." I say. We sat for a minute. "Look. I just wanna say I never meant anything I said. I was just angry." he says. "And I know you probably never want to see me again. Im such a bad boyfriend. You dont deserve someone like me..." and he kept rambling and rambling. "Jake." I say stopping him. He looked at me. "Apology accepted...and I wanna apologize as well. I was just stressed and I should have never took it out on you." I say. "Apology accepted." He says. "To be honest I handled that really bad. I started drinking and you know how much I hate alcohol. I just want it to all go away." I say tearing up. Jake came over to my side and held me close. He smelled so good. I missed his smell. I missed him alot. I domt want him to ever leave my side. My unstable mind cant handle it. Its crazy that I fell in love with my roommate. He made me feel loved. He is mine and only mine.

Being in love is a much deeper feeling. Its when no matter what you will love that person through thick and thin. Its when you start missing their smell. Sometimes you get sad and you dont know why.  In love is a term us humans use to show that we actually care for our significant other. A simple hey from them gives you a happy feeling.

Ive never felt that until I met jake. He is my slice in the loaf. He makes my bread toast.  I have no idea why Im thinking of bread as a example for love. I guess what Im trying to say is Jake is my slice of bread and I will charish him even if he falls onto the floor and gets dirty.

"Wanna go home?" He asked. I nodded. He takes me to the trap house and I text katrina and tell her what happened. That was the worst week of my life until today.

I was so close to ending the pain. I was so close to a staircase and a belt. I couldve done it but then I thought about my family and friends. Jake would have ended it if he thought it was his fault. Who would I be to kill someone because of my own depression. Who am I to make everyone who cares about me sad.

I know what losing someone feels like and its a dark hole. Its like an abyss that cant be lit up. All this depression is making me sad. Lets talk about puppies.

"Y/n? Are you okay?" Jake asked. "What? Jake yes Im okay?" I asked. "Y/n wake up. You are dreaming." I suddenly heard kats voice. My eyes opened. I was laying on he couch with an empty vodka bottle on the floor. "You have been sleeping since I left girl." She says.

I was confused. Wait so all that was a
... Dream?