So I'm a Vampire... Now What? - Book 2 (Original Version)

Chapter 7.2 - Accept My Sacrifice

I was sitting on the steps to the altar when the guys arrived. My back was deliberately turned to the angel to avoid his judgey gaze and to make sure that Crazy Mary didn't return.

"It's about time you guys got here," I said. "I just had the weirdest encounter for the entire year. You didn't see a crazy looking Filipino lady outside did you?"

Stanley smirked.

"Locals getting you down Bobberino? They can be a little colourful down this side of town."

"You should have seen her. Really fucking weird." I looked from Stanley to Benjamin and the McDonald's bag in his hand. The smell of fries was assaulting me, promising to deliver the greasy saltiness that I remembered so well." Great to see you, Ben. Now gimme fries."

"Shouldn't you be out with the new girlfriend Sammy said you'd found yourself?" Stanley asked as I took the bag from Benjamin and opened it greedily.

"Dammit. I specifically told Sammy to say I was dead. Or Dying. Or both." I noticed something about the fries. "Wait, these are garlic and herb fries. I can't eat these."

"I don't think they use real garlic," Benjamin said. "It didn't affect us in the car, and I don't even like garlic to begin with."

"What the hell are you even doing here?" Natalie asked. "I thought we were supposed to meet Beatrice and we got you instead."

I smiled and turned around in the streaming light, fully aware of how dramatic it looked from where they were standing.

"Welcome to HQ two point oh," I said. "Ours with Beatrice's blessing. We don't even have to pay rent. Ignore the statue: he won't hurt you."

"Looks like he might," Benjamin said. "Why does he have to look so judgey?"

"I know, right?" I agreed.

"Gotta give her points for style," Frankie nodded. "Nobody would ever expect vampires to be meeting in a church."

"Dude, nobody expects vampires, period," Stanley said.

"As long as nobody has changed the rule about us bursting into flame, I'm okay with that," I said. "Wish they'd change the one about garlic. I was looking forward to those fries."

"You can have the rest of mine," Stanley offered and handed his container over.

"Did something happen with you and Beatrice?" Frankie wanted to know. "Last week you were firmly in the 'Beatrice can go to hell' camp, and now today you're Team Beatrice?"

"We... talked," I said as evasively as I dared. Natalie was giving me a look that let me know how many connections she was making and that she was about to reach a conclusion—

"Oh my God!" Natalie exclaimed. "You and Beatrice?"

Damn, that was fast. Sometimes having smart friends sucked.

"Yeah," I confirmed. "Me and Beatrice."

"You and Beatrice?" Stanley echoed in complete disbelief.

"Yes! Me and Beatrice!"

"Damn. I thought she had better taste."

"I'm going to have to ship you guys now," Natalie pondered, her eyes gleaming. "You can be the Brad and Angelina of Toronto vampires. Instead of Brangelina... BobaTrice? BeaBob?"

"Please don't ship us," I pleaded.

"Yeah, don't do that," Benjamin agreed. He glanced at Frankie, who just shrugged at him. "So this is a real thing then?"