So I'm a Vampire... Now What? - Book 2 (Original Version)

Chapter 9.6 So Much For the Afterglow

When I exited the store, I spotted the agent almost immediately. He was kind of obvious, just hanging around across the street, leaning against a black Honda as if he had nowhere else to be.

At night.

In the middle of winter.

During Christmas shopping.

Do I have to really spell it out for you here?

I had spotted him on the way in, but it had just been a casual scan of the area, mainly to see if there were any of the usual customers on the way in. There had been no red flags in my head, just me casually wondering if he had just bought something, or if he was going to be coming in soon. It was when he started walking down the street in the same direction that I was walking that I clued in to the fact that someone was following me.

I texted Claude.

Me: I think someone is following me.

A second later, the phone vibrated as a message came in. A notification popped up from Ronnie. What the fuck?

Ronnie: Human or vampire?

That gave me a bit of a surprise since I had been expecting Claude to respond. It also reminded me that I still had to have a serious chat with Ronnie. I thought about pushing for answers right then, but decided to leave it for later. I typed a response instead.

Me: How the fuck am I supposed to know?

Ronnie: Well don't you guys have some kind of vampire radar or something? That's a thing right?

Me: It is definitely not a thing! I usually have to see their eyes or something. I thought about it for a second and continued typing. The agents are usually wearing sunglasses, but so are most of the vampires I know.

Ronnie: It's night. If he's wearing sunglasses you got your answer. Duh!

I stuck my tongue out at the phone and risked what I thought was a very discreet glance behind me.

Me: No sunglasses. Definitely following me.

Ronnie: Might be RCMP. They're doing some kind of joint operation with the Vampire Federali to nail you guys.

True fact about the Royal Canadian Mounted Police: they have more in common with vampires than you might think. Don't believe me?

If you're American or anyone outside of Canada, most of what you know about the Mounties or the RCMP comes from movies, where they are painted as affable, clueless dimwits. Just like vampires, but without the affable or clueless dimwit part. It's the whole movie connection again and really should tell you everything you need to know.

The red and black uniform you may think of while trying so hard not to think about Buckingham Palace guards, but now you are and that's all you can think about? Yeah: that's the dress uniform, or at least the uniform of the mounted units, just with flat hats, not those big bear fur monstrosities. This should remind you about vampires, because of the whole "evening dress/18th Century clothes" myth.

There's also this misconception that to escape them, all you have to do is cross the border into the US and you're free and clear. Kinda-sorta similar to vampires not being able to cross running water or go into place uninvited, but I might be reaching just a little.

Let me clear up those little pieces of math for you: those guys are anything but affable when they're on the job. They're a fucking elite force of nature, Canada's Federal Enforcement Agency and they are highly trained and are know to always get their man. Period. This should terrify you (if you're a criminal) for many reasons. They aren't easy to spot since they often work undercover, most of them won't cut you a break, since if they're coming after you, "ya dun fucked up" and they will get you. If you cross the border and flip them off, don't think they will let s little thing like a "border" or local jurisdiction get in their way. They have International fucking authority.