So I'm a Vampire... Now What? - Book 2 (Original Version)

Chapter 2.2 The Notorious B.O.B

Daemien is in my apartment, of course, and is quite reasonably holding out his hand in friendship; the lace on his wrists almost glowing white in the darkness. Suddenly, my mom is there with the biggest goddamn knife I have ever seen. She rears up behind Daemien, the knife going to his throat. She cuts and rips at his neck, the blood spraying everywhere, drenching her arms and face... and he just lets her do it. Nothing will stop her: nothing.

She keeps on sawing until his head separates from his body.

I realize that Damien's hand is still reaching out for me, the white lace around his wrists now drenched in blood.

My mom points the knife at me and grins--

There is blood on her teeth.

The rest of the family floods into the room, coming out of the walls like some twisted demons, knives and various sharp objects raised to kill me--

***

I woke up hanging upside down from my ankle.

This would have elicited a scream of panic from me at any other time, but from the way the night was going, this part felt just about right. I strained to see what the hell was going on. Mr. Bryce grinned down at me with teeth that would have been more at home in a shark's mouth and waggled his fingers at me. Apparently, he was holding me aloft, my ankle clamped into one of his oversized, meaty hands.

This is the part where terror takes over, the part where I know without a doubt that I'm about to die and that it's not going to be a pleasant death.

I opened my mouth to scream, and Mr. Bryce put a finger to his lips.

"Scream, and I'll rip your spleen out," Mr. Bryce said conversationally. There was no doubt that he meant it. "I'll have to find it first, but I reckon I'll find it. Eventually."

I promptly shut my damn mouth.

There is no good way to ever meet Mr. Bryce.

He is part of a trio of the scariest motherfuckers you will ever have the displeasure of meeting, a trio only known by the name of The Gentlemen. The reason that their name will strike terror into the heart of any vampire alive is simple: if they ever come for you, you are already dead. You can run all you want, but they will get you, and they will kill the everloving fuck out of you. Of course, for this kind of attention, you had to have done something terrible. This extremely short list included killing another vampire,

(oh fuck me, he knew about Damien)

or in some cases, like with my friend Louise, actually making another vampire. Louise hadn't even lasted a day before the Gentlemen had come for her.

I had never seen her again after that.

My first encounter with the Gentlemen, I had woken up with all three of them in my apartment, and it had terrified the shit out of me in a way I had never known existed. It was the kind of fear that said very plainly: do not move, no matter what happens, do not move and maybe they won't see you and eat you alive.

Mr. Bryce was the largest of the trio, easily 7' tall and was technically a walking wall of muscle in an expertly and finely tailored suit. He had the kind of muscle that was usually described as "a slab" or "solid" or even "brick-like"; It was the kind of muscle that you knew without a doubt had never seen the inside of a gym. Looking at the man, you knew that his tailor had to be some kind of goddamn genius to be able to design a suit that fit so well without making him look ridiculous.

Then there was Mr. Flynn. If there was one word to describe Mr. Flynn, who was the leader of the trio, it could only be "precise." He was slim and trim, all lean muscle, but looking into his eyes, you could tell that he wouldn't have to lift a finger to harm you, but that was only by choice. He had people for that. Terrible people. Somehow you got the feeling that if he did make the choice, it would be the most terrible thing you had ever met.