And She Continued Pt 1

Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

"I promise I'll see you later boy." I pet his head moving toward the commotion down the street.

Dogmeat yipped a happy good bye, tail wagging mercilessly as he bounded off after Mama Murphy. Further down the road Codsworth hovered in the background, Preston Garvey barking orders out to his ragtag group of survivors. It had been a grueling 72 hours as we worked together to rip apart scavenged items, building guard posts and turrets. We were almost done. One more platform and we would be good to go.

In some ways I had begun to acknowledge that the Commonwealth was better now. A man like Sturges never would have made it to such an esteemed position. None of us would have.

General. The word felt numb on my mind, especially after my talk with Mama Murphy.

I looked up the hill, into the forest that became a Vault. Nate would have been an amazing general. The thought produced a hollow ache, but it didn't cut or sting like before. I was getting better. I was moving on. At the same time I felt relief at the knowledge, I wanted to rail against it. This wasn't the life I was born into; it wasn't the life I was meant to lead.

If things had progressed naturally Shaun would have been walking by now, nearly a year and a half old. Perhaps Nate and I would be working on baby number two as I delved into my career as lawyer instead of student. I would have been amazing at it, I passed the bar exam on my first try. It had come so naturally.

Instead here I was, stripped down to a tank top and jeans, pounding nails into wooden boards and splicing electrical wires together with copper and wonderglue. I leaned back against the pavement, my eyes squinting against the blazing afternoon sun.

Summer in the wasteland was a bitch. More radstorms, more heat, more bugs. Even the ghouls seemed more active.

"Doin' a good job there, missy." Sturges leaned over me, blocking out the sun.

I felt myself turn red at the unfamiliar compliment. "Almost done now, thanks."

He nodded and moved on to oversee the next project. I watched the muscles in his back bunch and release, admiring his form for a while. Sturges had an incredible mechanical gift, if he had gone to college I would have placed him as an engineer. The things he could make and fix was astounding. A genius in his own right. Not bad on the eyes either, not that I really fell for the loud mouthed, swaggering kind.

I'm lonely. I realized.

I missed Nate, I missed my comfortable, familiar life, but I was healing, and healing meant lonely. A dangerous place to be. I'd been through my share of break ups. When I became lonely every man was some shade of attractive. I start to have urges and my sex drive comes back. Once my sex drive comes back, I pick bedfellows based on poor decisions. Once I sleep with someone I start imagining I'm in love, and then it's just heartbreak from there.

I took a deep, shuddering breath. I didn't really like Sturges. Not like that, anyway. He was a great guy, protective, had ingenuity to spare, but there was nothing between us aside from that. I picked my hammer back up, pounding nails into the board with a ferocity and speed I hadn't had before. By the time I finished I was tired and spent. Too tired and spent to worry about Sturges fine physical form, or the way Preston's face lit up when he saw me.

"I'm gunna have a bath." I mentioned to Preston as I passed by him. "Don't bug me."

The communal bathroom had three tubs separated by thin walls; each stocked with a mirror, cabinet, end table and plant. Soap, towels, and changes of clothes were available for use in the main room, a radio that filled the entire building played Classical tunes. Lockers along the far end were punctuated by benches. Everyone was assigned their own locker with some to spare for any newcomers or traders that came through. I went to mine, stroking the 'You're S.P.E.C.I.A.L' book before grabbing my personal soap and towel, leaving them on the end table beside my tub.

I made my way back outside to get the purified water. It was easy to maneuver into the clean tub with the help of the huge buckets we kept laying around, a wagon we had crafted could hold 5 at a time without being so heavy it caught on all the divots. Sturges had the brilliant idea to dig a pit out underneath the tubs for a fire to warm the water. I looked underneath the bath, no firewood or kindling available.

I sighed, irritated. I moved back out onto the street, collecting firewood from the decaying plants around the houses.

"Keep it spread out and low." I repeated under my breath, shoving the door to the bathroom open with my toe and arranging my kindling.

With a grunt I stood back up, striking a match and letting it fall. The smoke at first was ridiculous, I hurried to open the door and gasped in the clean air.

"Might as well get something to eat." I grumbled, wasting time waiting for my water to heat up.

I sighed, slipping into the steaming bath. It was hot enough to turn my skin red, though it didn't exactly burn. I could feel days of tension and grime falling off me.

"What I'd give for a shower after this." I sighed, my arm lifting lazily to the soap.

Sleepily I left my hand fall back into the tub. I could always scrub later. Just enjoy this.

My mind wandered back to Sturges. I jolted up in the tub.

No! No! I splashed water against my face. You don't even like him. Stop it!

I submerged my head, scrubbing my fingers through my hair. When I reemerged I grimaced at how grimy the water already looked. I closed my eyes again, leaning my head along the edge of the tub.

6 months. I sighed, 6 months and I've brought people to Sanctuary Hills.

Apprehension flooded me. What if they move into my old house? What if they leave? Or die? What if... I peered through the window, nothing but dead trees and withering grass. What if Shaun is dead?

I didn't know. It killed me. Was I chasing after a ghost? A corpse?

No. No. Mama Murphy had said I'd find him. That he was here. Alive. I grabbed the soap then, scrubbing it over my body.

Grabbing a rag I scraped at my skin till it was nearly raw. With dismay I saw how filthy the water had become. Nearly grey. I had planned on relaxing a bit more. The afternoon sun blazed on down, defiant as the evening pressed forward.

I sighed, standing, grabbing for my towel before freezing. It took me a second to realize that the person in the mirror was myself. Fascinated I climbed form the tub, letting water freefall from my body. I looked so different.

My hair had thinned out a bit, probably from the lack of nourishment. It was a few shades lighter too; sun bleached from all the travelling. My face was more pronounced, all the post-pregnancy weight gone and replaced with a defined hardness that spoke of a woman not afraid to try. My eyes were bright and clear, though the bags underneath would probably never go away. I had new wrinkles.

I stepped closer, examining my skin. My occasional hormonal break out problem wasn't much of a problem these days, however I did seem to have more blackheads than before. I could see the patterns of new lines and creases starting on my face, down my neck and across my collar bone.

My breasts still lacked the perkiness they had before I began breastfeeding, but they weren't as deflated; somewhat smaller too. My arms had lost the mom flab, my muscles showing lean. My eyes trailed down my calloused hands, to my waist. My stretch marks gleamed silver, like a tigers strips over my pubic bone and fanning out towards my hips. My waist had pinched in dramatically, my hip bones now jutting out to show off the impressive abs I had cultivated, as well as the oblique's I'd never before had.

When did this happen to me? How did I not notice?

I shook my head, turning. My back was a ripple of muscle and soft skin, my ass was stunning. My thighs, though still marked with cellulite, had hardened.

My body was as changed as my life. I had shed all the soft fat and traded it for lean muscle. I was a survivor now. My eyes trailed over the pale myriad of scars, some healed naturally, others with surgical intervention and stimpaks. I was something changed from the person I had been.

I felt a new emotion blooming in my chest as I met my gaze. I was fierce. I was powerful.

I wasn't going to sit by as an idle player anymore.

I would destroy the Institute.