The Spider

"Ray!" Aunt May called from the living room, "Hurry up! You're going to be late for school!"

I sigh and roll off the bed, "Coming!"

I haven't even began to get dress. So I make my way over to my dresser. I'm feeling more masculine today, so I pull over a Green Day T-shirt and go for my baggy jeans. I put on my wore down sneakers and throw my spider suit in my bag. When I'm about to walk out of my room, I take a peak in the mirror.

I still look more neutral than masculine and that alone slightly triggers my dysphoria. So I run across my closet-sized room and grab my black beanie. I quickly pull it over my dark brown/half shaved hair. I look in the mirror again and pull my bangs back to where they are no longer visible under my beanie.

Deciding that I looked guyish enough to take on the day, I exit my room and enter the living room/kitchen. There, I find Aunt May picking up her purse and grabbing her house keys.

Not really wanting to strike up a conversation about today's choice of clothing, I yell a quick "have a good day" as I run out the door.

May was never really bothered about the whole "gender identity" crisis. And for that, I was grateful. But she sure did ask a lot of questions. And I am never really "in the mood".

That, and there was never much to explain. My compass points man, man I am. My compass point woman, woman I am. In between? That's where I'm stuck most of the time. The in between. Not "in the binary".

I grab my bike and push off while swinging my leg over. I'm running five minutes late, but I don't worry about it. Ever since becoming The Spider, I haven't had to worry about anything involving athletic ability.

Ever since becoming The Spider, I haven't had to worry about much. Well.. except for a few things. Actually, three things: Being misgendered, Keeping my identity a secret, and keeping it from May.

Those three things have been the most stressful things in my life for the past six months. I no longer worried about the bullies at school. Nothing they did phased me any more. I no longer worried about being late (like I would have been this morning). I just had to worry about those three things, and life ran otherwise smoothly. Except for the crushing dysphoria. My brain reminds me. But that only bugs me when I am getting mixed signals.

I make it to school right as the warning bell rings, and I grab my books out of my locker.

While walking to first period Chemistry, I hear snickers from behind me. I probably would have missed them if it wasn't for my Spidey senses. But I hear them over the hallway rush and turn around to see none other than Flash and his group of unbearable friends.

They're looking straight at me. However, I decide to ignore them. There are some fights that you don't pick. Slugging someone for making a joke about that "queer emo kid" was one of those unpicked fights.

I just pull my backpack a little higher on my shoulder and walk to Mr. Bradson's classroom. I sit in the back and pull my notes out. I never actually take the notes. Instead, I run over calculations for the A.I. that Ned and I are working on in Robotics. We are so close to activating it, but we're missing a few pieces of coding.

I work on the codes during my other classes. I never really have issues with my grades, so I can afford to be distracted (don't try this, kids). And once the lunch bell rings, I practically sprint to the lab across campus.

The lab was my safe space. Ned and I practically lived in it.There were three parts to it: The old science lab, the main room, and the computer lab. There were posters on the walls and a mini fridge in the main room. We also recently got bean bag couches and convinced the pizzeria down the street to deliver to us directly.