The Spider

Never want to leave

"So Ray," Says the overly cheerful woman sitting across from me, "We've covered your gender dysphoria, anxiety, prior depression, and how your super senses affect them. However, we've been purposely skipping a certain subject these past two weeks... You know what that could be?"

I know that she's talking about the recent events. May, Avengers hunting me, the suicide attempt, everything. But I don't want to talk about that... ever.

I'm not going to lie. These past two weeks in the tower have been better than bearable. Sure, these weekly appointments sucked, but they're only once a week. When I'm not here, I hang out with Dan and Sarah in my room. Bruce got with the orphanage and made something up about inviting 'promising' students to work in Stark Tower for a week. I laughed when they associated Sarah with a promising student. The main lady in charge (I can never remember her name) couldn't even be bothered with the three missing kids (I don't even think that they new we were gone).

"I really don't want to talk about it." I state with as much authority in my voice as I can muster.

She gives me that stupid concerned look again. She does this all too often and it makes me want to strangle her. "Ray, we only have one more session after this. I think it's best if we go ahead and talk about it."

I shake my head and don't say a word.

"Fine," She says, "Why don't we start with something a little simpler? Let's go back to the night that you found out SHIELD was looking for you?"

This is a trap. There's no escape and I have to speak enough to let this last twenty minutes go by, "I-I was on the roof of some building at first. I got a call about this internship so I was really... happy? Yeah, I was happy... Anyways, It was late when I got home. I was worried that Ma- Um..." I take a deep breath. I need to hurry up and finish this, "I looked at my computer... I uh. I found what SHIELD had sent out about The Spider. About me... I went to school the next day like nothing happened."

She notices me freezing up at the mention of May, but thankfully, she doesn't say anything about it, "And how did you feel about that? Were you scared? Anxious?"

I look back to think about it. I really wouldn't use the word scared. Terrified was more like it. And with everything that happened so quickly, anxious didn't really cover it either. I don't really know how I felt. It was a mixture of everything yet nothing all at once, "I don't know."

She adjusted her papers on her desk, "Well Ray, you have to be more specific. What do you mean by that?"

"I mean," I try my best not to get mad at the woman, "I. Don't. Know. I don't know how I felt. It's all jumbling up in my head..."

She nods, "Ray, I'm on your side here. SHIELD has hired me for this under very strict confidentiality. Whatever you say in this room, does not leave. You did great today," she looks at her watch, "Why don't you leave a little earlier? Yeah? Same time next week."

She didn't have to tell me twice. I was out of the room before she could change her mind.

I head up to my room. Sarah, Dan, and I had rooms next to each other on floor 25. The rooms were almost the same as the ones on floor 23, except bigger and we were the only rooms on this floor. It was set up like an apartment. A really big apartment. We had our own kitchen, living room, small dining room, and one communal restroom. In the rooms, there were our own T.V.s, king sized beds, attached bathroom, and walk in closets. We also have many balconies, but Dan insisted that we lock them. I didn't protest.

As for Dan, we've gotten closer since I left med bay. He sleeps in my room with me, and we hang out during the day with Sarah. I have yet to leave the tower and I don't plan on it any time soon.