Insomniac

ONE

The world around you is what my brother Jay would call major experience. No one ever knows what the hell he is talking about. I've had some time to reflect on it though. It's the moments in your life that make everything worth it. I think that's what he means. Before I met Jay and his overly emotional group of friends life was decent. I hadn't truly had major experience. Now that's all life is. Maybe the move to San Fransico wasn't that bad. I think I can truly be happy here. I graduate in a few months. The time spent here so far has been momentous. It didn't start out that way but it feels like home now, I don't feel like a stranger at the dinner table. We talk about our days and what plans we have for the week. G even offered to take me to look at some new cars.

Lies.

I really think I was just misunderstanding my family. Yeah, that's right, I said it. My family. G and I talked the other day and we set things straight. We are both valuable members of this family and if we want things to go smoothly we have to see the bigger picture for everyone. He even apologized for breaking my phone and everything else. He wants to be a father figure in my life. Jay isn't that bad either. He says the reason he acted out was that he was afraid of losing his connection with G. I understood. We discussed that I'm not looking for a new dad just someone to help me get through. Jay and I ride to school together and he no longer makes any of those ignorant comments about me.

Lies.

It's amazing what a little heart to heart will do for you. G even said he'd help me get into any college I'd want. Communication was truly our problem. I thank you for helping me see that. There are things we're still working on like getting me my own car and a better phone plan. Rome wasn't built in a day. We are taking each day at a time. G and Jay understand that my mental health is important and should be taken seriously. We talked about going on family outings with mom. She said she really wants to see San Francisco at night. I heard it's the best dream you never want to wake from. Kind of like my life. It has changed for the better. We could still use some work but we're already making progress.

More lies.

My therapist won't know the difference. Tristan Ceasar High is hell on imaginary wheels. Jay isn't some lost prophet. He's a dumb jock who had the cheerleaders shove me in my locker. He's a dick, I mean my stepbrother. I rather live with Thanos and that's putting it nicely. Jay does say things like major experience. He wants girls to think he is smarter than his 1.6 GPA tells him. He says things like "Our existence doesn't define us. We define ourselves with the tools of our youth." Let me say this loud and clear Jay is not Aristotle. Most of the time he steals some quote off a movie and puts his own spin on it. Girls at school are of less than average intelligence. No wonder they parade around him.

Jay believes the world belongs to him and that everyone should be kissing his feet. He thinks he's Jesus reincarnate. (I'm so sorry Jesus. I don't know who raised him.) Actually, that's a lie. He was raised by Geoffery Carl Simpson, a corrupt CEO of a multi-billion dollar construction company. My mom has a thing for ugly men with ugly names and uglier personalities. After my sperm donor took her money, car, and dignity and high tailed it to the mountains, she was devasted. She started dating men who were worst then the pile of caca that left her. Ge-off married her. Which was just flat out stupid. I'm sure Ge-off is a good person deep, deep, deep deep, deep, deep, deep down but not on the outside. He is a misogynistic, bigot who is money hungry and basically Satan.

Reasons why Ge-off is Satan:

1) He has no sense of remorse. He took my mothers car, crashed it and then told her to walk. He said if the car was so important that she didn't need it. She could walk until her good shoes became flip flops and then maybe he'd consider buying her a new one. He made it all seem like it was my mother's fault. She wasn't even in the car or near it when HE wrecked it. Or the time he broke my phone and refused to get me a new one. He crushed it with his bare hands. He thought I was texting a client of his. All of his clients look like coneheads. He tried to tell me that it was my fault because people like me shouldn't have anyone to talk to. No one would be bothered enough to want to keep the conversation going. It didn't sound as cynical when he said it. He has a way of making everything that's wrong in his life your fault. Which is reason number 2.