Antidote [18+]

Cinco.

Seth woke up to find his head on Xander's chest.

"Sorry," he apologized quickly getting up and adjusted his eyes to the light streaming through the blinds. 

"You fell asleep after crying," he said giving a small smile, "You have a lecture in 3 hours."

Seth didn't realize he'd slept for so long, he must have been really exhausted. He let out a sigh and turned to face Xander. He didn't want to be too forward but it was obvious that he couldn't just keep ignoring him for much longer or the lingering feelings inside of him. He wanted to know what they were and what this meant for him. 

"Alexander," he started, "I know this is a bit sudden but what is this- thing?" he gestured between of them.

"You mean me liking you and you supposedly not like me thing?" he nodded.

Xander ran a hand through his hair sighing, "We can make it whatever we want it to be."

"What do you want?" Seth asked.

"I want us to make this a relationship, we'll be there for each other, listen to each other's thoughts and we'll have memories to cherish; both good and bad."

Seth stared at him wide eyed. He definitely wasn't expecting that type of response but he was pleased with it. It made him feel like he wouldn't have to worry.

"I don't know."

"You're scared of being called gay?"

"It's just that-" he paused.

He was. He couldn't deny it. He was beyond scared about what his friends and family would think. He didn't want to be like this.

"Yes," he said in defeat.

Xander reached forward and held Seth in his arms as if he was glass, "I'll be with you every step of the way, there's no rush," he whispered gently, "If you don't want anyone to know they don't have to know, it'll be our little secret, yeah?"

Seth buried his head in the crook of Xander's neck and let out a shaky breath. Did he really want to risk everything for a relationship that had the possibility of failing?

}{

Seth stepped out of his bedroom dressed and mentally unstable for his lecture. He set down his bag by the coffee table and re-positioned himself beside Xander.

"You okay?"he asked.

"Yeah, yeah just a bit, worried."

"Why are you worried?" he furrowed his eyebrows "Seth I meant it when I said I would be there every step of the way with you."

He shook his head, "No, it's Duncan, at the party he saw-"

Then it hit him. This would mean him having to tell Xander that he had been thinking about him during his sexual escapade with some random girl he met at a party and Duncan had heard him.

"Never-mind, I'm okay." he gave a small smile.

"Seth tell me," Xander narrowed his eyes at him.

"No."

"No?" he moved over closing the space between them, "What exactly did you do at that party Seth?"

"I just hung out with my friends, had a few beers," he bit his lip to control his nervousness.

"If there's anything I hate the most it's lying," he stated.

What was the use in lying to him? He would keep pressing until it spilled. Seth was beyond embarrassed now, he didn't even want to look at him.

"I had sex with someone," he mumbled.

"Stop mumbling," he said sternly.

"I had sex with someone, in the process I said a few words. When I was done, Duncan was standing outside the door and I'm afraid he might have heard me."

He didn't have to tell him everything, right? 

"What did you say in the process," he said quoting the last three words with his fingers.

He paused and contemplated his entire life. How the hell did he end up in this situation?

"I said your name," he said and turned his head to hide the blush creeping up his neck.

"¿Dijiste mi nombre mientras te follas te a otra perra?" he laughed bitterly, "Tú cabrón."

Seth turned around so fast he almost got whiplash, "What did you say?"

Whatever he said sounded like he was cursing at or making fun of him.

"I said, you said my name while you fucked another bitch?" he glared.

Seth's eyes widened, it was his first time hearing Xander curse and he would be lying if he said it didn't arouse him.

"What about the cobra part?" he asked placing his hands over his lap to hide any evidence of his current state, "It sounded like you called me something."

"Ah, tú cabrón?" he gave a sly smile, "I said you son of a bitch."

Seth's hands flew up and connected with Xander's chest pushing him off the couch. His face was as red as a tomato.

"You're cute when you're mad," he smiled sitting up on the floor.

"Do not curse at me in a language that I cannot understand," he stood up fuming. 

Xander's eyes widened at the bulge at the front of Seth's jeans.

"Is that why I shouldn't curse at you in a language you can't understand?" he raised an eyebrow, "My use of expletives in Español turns you on?"

"Shit." Seth cursed.