Book Of Love

Near the Brink of death (Pt 2)

"Yeah!" So worth a Saturday of my time. Hands on the pole, with my bun seated on the flying fox I soar the air squealing at every rough wind breeze. "Go Lexi!" My best friend, Camele, shouts supportively. She's knows about my cancer. And she's been nothing but supporitive. She even cut her hair to the point where she looks like a boy. Perhaps a tomboy. I climb off the flying fox, passing it to the next person. My hand accidently touches the other person's hand. My eyes trail to his face, "Sorry." Blown away by his looks, I can't help but stare. His jet black hair ruffles in the wind and he blinks his ocean blue eyes at my possibly horrified expression. "It's alright-" He waits, his voice ending of strong. "Lexi."

"Dustin." Giving him the flying fox, I turn and look over my shoulder, " See you around Dustin."
"I see you made a new friend." Camele nudges my ribs. "Knock it off," I claw at her giggling at her offended face. "Just a friend." I narrow my eyes at her. "You could still make love with the time left." I wince at hearing that. It hurt because it's true. "Sorry." She apologises. I shake away her apology, " I don't think it benefical for me or him. Unfortunetely this is how my life is."

"For a girl who has a common cancer, you are one damn strong kid you know." Camele comments brushing a strand of her golden blonde hair behind her ear. We walk back to the cabins, sloth pace. Next up, sports marathon . Might be a bit of a probelm to convince the instrustor that I shouldn't run. But I will, it;s for charity. A good cause. I want to be an example.

***

"Alright, it's a simple 3km run with a few turns and a last hundred metres sprint at the end," our instructor cracks her knuckles as she paces at the finish line. She poisitions herself next to the line, "On your marks." She pauses, "Get set," her hand crashes downward, "GO!"

Everyone takes off, sprinting, some even stumbling at people's sudden movement. I start off with a slow jog. Only when I came halfway through the race did I start to feel the pain. My heart pounds in my chest, a massive headache throbs in my head and a stinging pain fills my lungs with each breathe inwards. "COME ON LEXI! PICK UP THE PACE! YOUR FALLING BEHIND." My instructor roars at me from the sidelines. Rolling my head back in frustration I speed forward. Dodging rocks and flying twigs, my step falters and I tumble to the ground.

Heaving in and out, I struggle to get back up. A hand is offered downwards. Noticing the hand, I have no hesitation to take it and get up. Looking at the oh- so- gorgeous face of my 'rescuer' I force myself not to blush as I say "Thank you Dustin." He places a gentle supportive hand on my back, "Are you sure you're okay?" Nodding, I continue on. Yellung back I giggle, "Hurry up Low poke!" He reaches me quickly. With Dustin as a distraction, I cover the remaining one and a half kilometeres with just a half kilometre left as easy as saying 'a b c.'

Only at the last half did I have real issues. My breathe refuses to actually breath and I hault in the middle of the racers to catch my breath. "Lex?" Dustin questions, but before I could say anything. My vision blurs and the world spins as I fall to the ground. Although I didn't hit it as Dustin catches me in his strong grip. His voice echoes in the air, "Lexi, can you hear me?" His words bounce off invisible walls and I giggle like a child, "My ears will always be open for you my Kitty."

"Keep them thoughts private for me will ya." He has a touch of amusement to his voice. Ha! He finds me funny. Smiling goofily up at him a unexpected stab in my heart causes a groan to escape the back of my throat. Clutching my chest, Dustin swoops me up like a baby, "You need a doctor." Like a change of weather, goosebumps trail up my arms and legs. Shivering from whatever, I cuddle into Dustin's chest. "Just hold on Lex, I won't let you die." With those encouraging words, they linger in the empty air as I drift off into endless darkness leaving the world and only feeling the stomping of Dustin's shoes on the pavement.

***

Ever travel in space? Well I kind of did. My mind is my space. My galaxy. My atmosphere. It's speckled with stars (my thoughts) and milky ways( smudged/ bad choices) and space shuttle with a mini me in it, wondering what the hell I'm doing with my life. Maybe I should just die right now.. save the pain from myself.. for everyone.. causing pain to myself is making others suffering. I can't. I just can't...

"She will be fine but she shouldn't participate in sporting activities." A voice, preferably a doctor, fills the room. Not bothered to open my eyes and stop the conversation I listen as a second voice speaks. "What's wrong with her?" Dustin.

A pat on the back told her all she needed to know, until the doctor confirmed, "Unfortunately son, that's something she'll have to tell you." His voice left the room. Then to make it seem realistic, I groan and slowly open my eyes gathering the courage to muster a quiet, "You didn't have to be here."

"Hey how are you feeling?" Dustin asks, shifting to my side placing a hand on my forehead. Surprised by his gesture, I breath in, "Like I just died." A common but totally hilarous response. Dustin's horrified expression makes me burst into fits of laughter. Greatful for him joining me later, his expression changes to serious, "Lex, what's wrong with you? Are you sick or something?" Oh nuts. Here it goes. Am I really going to do this?

"I'll tell you but you must swear thatyou  won't tell anyone." I search his face. He holds his hand up as if making an oath, "I swear by the stars." Slowly, ever so slowly I take off my beanie. My bald head comes into view and hesitating, Dustin swipes a gentle hand over my head. Flincing at his touch, he breaths in a shaky breath, "What-" Unable to finish his sentence I finish for him, "Dustin. I have cancer."