Book Of Love

Near the brink of death ( pt 4)

The blood drains from my face. Speechless. Ever heard the saying ' go enjoy life before you die and loss it all' WELL NO, cause I made it up! I can't speak. It's been three days since I met him. THREE. Is that long enough?? I think I've watched too many romances, I am way to stressed. "Lexi?" Realising I stayed silent for to long I blurted out, "Yes." Sauintig my eyes shut I want to slap myself in the head I refrain from doing it. "Cool, meet me by the lake tonight. Consider it our first date." He scraps the chair back. The colour returns to my face when he is out of sight. Pulling out my phone and with shaking fingers I type in my parents number. The tone cracks then their worried voices pile out, "Honey what's wrong? Do you feel sick? Are you sad? Do you want to come home?" After their barrelling questions, I burst out in tears.

Between snorts and sobs I explain what happened. "So you're sad?" Dad asks. "DAD." I whail, with a chuckle on the end. "Honey as long as your not pretending, love him as you love us." Came mum's voice. She was always good at advice. Especially in love. "I love you guys very much. "I respond. "Then love him like that. Goodbye honey. We love you." And with that final goodbye, the call ended. Mum was very busy, preparing a room in our house for my sister. My mysterious sister.

The rest of the day was a blur. Never really focused on anything. After lunch we had gone for bushwalk which thankfully I could particpate in as long as I walked at a reasonable speed. Though Dustin walked right beside me, to avoid stares from the other campers and the instructors, we circumvented from holding hands. Soon after playing a couple rounds of the game one truth and two lies, and after having won all of them. With a satified grin, I walker beside Camele to our cabin to get prepared.

"You are one lucky girl you know." Camele starts to slowly pack her clothes into her suitcase. Their camping journey is nearing an end. Just tomorrow then we're going home. Tonight's the last night so I have every right to be nervous on my first date. "I know." I shrug like it is no big deal. "But you're more lucky than me Camele. You have a free life. No cancer. No worries."

Camele stops midway in putting a pair of socks into her suitcase. She shoves it in, "We've talked about this. You know you have cancer, but your life isn't over."
"Not yet." I add negatively. Stop that." Camele leans over to smack my arm.
"What more do you want me to do Camele? YES I know I'm dying and you know maybe it's for the best cause I seem to upset everyone!"I raise my voice. Camele closes the lid of her suitcase, "you'll make everyone more upset when you're gone. And you leaving us will never be for the best. You are the best thing, the best person in my life." I sigh, what can I really say..? "Thanks Camele." I pull on a simple dress, before zipping up my own bag. "All set?" She plays with my beanie. Nodding she hugs me with my hands glued to my side she adds, "Go get em Lex."

***
Stars twinkle brightly in the night sky. The moon, cut like a banana shines over the land. The reflection catches itself in the lake, lighting up the grass near the lake and the figure sitting there. Dustin. Approaching from behind I take to note the emerald coloured shirt he wears with tight( really tight) denim shorts. Slowly, I slide down next to him. He turns his face toward me and with the moon lighting up his face, for the first time in well now, I take in his gorgeous face.

His blue eyes represent the lake, they could almost be a lake themselves. If you look deeper in you can almost see the light waves of an ocean. A twinkle shines in his eye reminding me of the moon. A smile quirks at his lips, "Glad to see you find my eyes fasicnating." Gulp. I totally forgot to say hello. "Well I mean I only now took in how amazing they are." UGH NO. That sounds so dumb. Why did I say that. Relieved that the returns to face the lake, I try to relax my tensed body.

"This is beautiful, how did you know I would like it?"
"Just about any girl would like a lake," Dustin adds with a sense of humour to his voice, "nah not really. To me you look like a girl who wants to be free maybe in an ocean especially with your condition. " I furrow my eyes at the new word for cancer. "Yeah Sometimes I just want to escape this world, you know?" I tilt my head for extra effect. "You mean like dying?" He asks. Swallowing spit down my hoarse throat I say dryly, "No never." I hate lying but I can't possibly tell him. Not until- I'm gone. "Good." He simply says squeezing my hand in his.

Without thinking or even a second thought I stand up. A little too quickly espesically when Dustin springs up beside me. "You alright?" Nodding I sigh. My heart pounds in my chest. I pivot my body to face him. And with no suspiosion, he cups a hand around my waist and pulls me closer so that our chests are touching and our noses are just inches apart. Sharing the same breath, he slowly takes off my beanie. Breath hitching I tremble. I'm out in the open. "It's okay." Was all he says. With his conforting trusting words, I let it go. He ever so quietly whispers, "I wish I had met you sooner." Then something I never thought I would do I did. I lean in closing my eyes as our lips touch. Something so simple turned deeper a few seconds later and for the first time in my life I felt happy and a pain in my heart told me it wouldn't last long. Because that pain was the sign. The sign.. that I'm at the brink of my death.