A Youtube Ship || Tyan (Ryguyrocky X TinaTheTiger - Ash503)

Breathe. Calm.

Hai! I pre warned someone in the comments about this: I think I'm coming up on the chapter limit for a book on this platform. Then - as I'm writing this now - I realised that I've seen a book with 72 chapters I think. I could be wrong. But still - warning is out there incase I'm wrong so when it gets around the 72 chapter mark if the limit isn't sooner, I'll tell you about it on the last chapter when I reach the limit or I'll make a post on it. Sorry if I pre warned you too early. Rant over. Enjoy the chapter! Bai xx

"Breathe. Calm. She avowed. Breathe. Calm." I stop to collect my thoughts. "How does one do that in a situation like this? You must be one heck of a tolerant and capable person."

Everything seems to link back to her, whether it be a small object or a large object. Whether it be certain foods. Whether it be clothes or things in general. It just has her written all over it. It's so sudden as well and I don't know why. Why does it have to be now, when I've dealt with my parents - Well Cam did Should is say - and my life is perfectly fine.

Then she came again.

I've been locked in my room for nearly 5 hours. How? I don't know either. I didn't eat much for breakfast as the Thoughts were draining me of my will power to do virtually anything. I don't need the toilet much in general so I've not had to leave my room. Even if I needed to go out or wanted to, I wouldn't. My eyes are all red and puffy from crying. I have bags under my eyes from lack of sleep. Tears stain my face and I have the sniffles. I'm light headed every now and then, not bothering to stand up and get fresh air as well as have a bite to eat and a refreshing drink. I've been sat down, just curled up into a ball, crying. Crying for what feels like forever. For life. For eternity. Everyone knocks on my door just to get a 'no', 'go away... please', or nothing at all. Sometimes they might be able to hear my cries. That my be a reason why some of them stuck around for a bit before eventually walking away from my door. I can just imagine their heads hung low with their let down faces and sad feelings. I feel awful because I'm the one causing it.

Not even Ash or my kids have been able to motivate me to get me to at least have a quick chat with them - not that Freddie could do much - and that's saying something.

I've locked every door and entrance in my room possible, the windows too. There's stuff against the bottom of my door stopping them from sliding notes or food underneath. I feel like that wouldn't make anything better and maybe worse. If it weren't for last night, I wouldn't be in this situation.

Last night Lexi, my abusive ex girlfriend from before I moved Spain and was in Sunny Side Daycare, texted me. Well, I was playing a game online and she happened to be in my lobby. Me, going into the server party, recognises her voice but doesn't say anything. However, when I feel the urge to cough, I do and as always I say sorry. I don't know why - I just do. Anyway, this allowed Lexi to notice me and we ended up talking. She was nice at first but after chatting on Instagram after the game ended, things took a sudden turn.

Her texts were harsh, violent and uncalled for like they were when we dated. She accused me of cheating on her yet again and persisted on verbally beating the heck out of it. For some reason I wasn't able to do anything about it.. I just sat there and took it all in. It hurt quite a bit and it drained me. Emotionally, mentally and physically. The reason why I'm in the state and situation I'm in now. Just thinking back on it worsens my state.

Not long after thinking to myself, there's yet another knock on my door. "Hey Ryan?"  I grunt. "It's, uh, it's me - Cam. I came to check up on you. Now before you say or do anything, there's no need to reply. Just hearing yo alive will satisfy me enough."

"I-I'm still alive" I manage to say, voice raspy and quiet.

"That's good. I'll leave you to it but if you need anything then we are all here Okay?". I hum, nodding even though no one can see it. I hear no footsteps until a few minutes later, indicating he stayed outside my door for a little bit. The time he stands outside my door makes me realise how stupid and petty I'm being. I hear him moving around and I take action.

"Cam wait..."

There's no movement. "I'm waiting, What Do you need?". I slowly get up off the floor, bones a little stiff from not moving, and I shuffle to the door where I kick things away from it and unlock it. My hand rests on the door handle as I turn the handle and open the door. When it's fully open, I stand with my head hung low and my shoulder hunched over slightly.

"I'm sorry..." is all I'm able to say.

"Oh Ryan there's no need to apologise". Arms pull me into a big, warm hug and a smile is brought to my face as happiness slowly builds up again in me. "Mind if I call for Ash? She's worried sick and will not settle"

"Sure..."

"Ash, he's out!" He calls. Footsteps are heard rushing up the stairs and Cam lets go of me, stepping to the side.

I lift my head up to see a smiling, relieved Ash Stalin's in front of me. She rushes over to me and engulfs me in a massive hug. "Babe are you okay?!"

"Y-Yes... now"

"What on earth happened?"

"Lexi happened.."