The Morning After [s.m]

Chapter 18

Chapter 18
The Morning After
Sarah Wilson
877 Words
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Tears threaten to spill as I try to form a coherent answer "I-I got.. scared. I'm not enough for you Shawn. I did it for you.." I try to decipher the expression on his face, it's pain, it's guilt, it's so many things. A warm tear rolls down my cheek while he speaks up "Let's talk at your place, okay?" I nod and keep my head down as he keeps talking "I'll drive you there, just give me your address. We'll.. we'll figure this out." He starts walking towards his car and I follow him in silence. There's a million things I want to say to him, but I'm not sure I can. Is this even worth fixing? He unlocks the passenger side door and I get in, nervously playing with my fingers in my lap. I tell him my address and we drive to my appartement. It's not a long drive, I unlock the door silently and let him in. He looks around for a moment "Wow, I've never seen your place before. It's really nice, could I, uh, look around?" I smile lightly and nod "I'll just be waiting here." He wanders and I think about what I'm going to say. My mind goes back to Chase. He was too good for me. He deserves better than me. I wanted to let him have that better person. I can't get too caught up in my thoughts as Shawn walks back in and sits beside me. I muster all the courage I have and turn to him "I'll explain everything." He smiles lightly and nods "Up until the wedding, I was on cloud 9. There was not a single sliver of doubt in my mind that I would spend the rest of my life with you. But, as I was in my dressing room, surrounded by all my bridesmaids talking about how lucky I was to be with a guy like you, I realized I was lucky, but you weren't. I had managed to grab the attention of you, who to this day is still the most amazing guy I know, as the simplest, most average girl there is. You deserved better, you deserve better. I left, I left because of lack. Our relationship lacked flaws. It was too good to be true, except it was true. You were true, you were so so good. I'm the exception to that. I would never be able to keep up with it all. I'll mess up my first aid skills one day. I won't impress you with my medical knowledge one day. I won't look good for you anymore. I won't recover as well after an argument. I won't be as bouncy, all the time, as I used to be. All these things I won't be able to do, but you will. You'll still be an amazing signer. You'll still impress everyone with your wisdom and kindness. You'll still look drop dead gorgeous all the time. You'll still manage your actions and reactions during conflict. You'll still see the bright side in everything. And that's why I left. It's not dumb. I lack and you deserve to be fulfilled. I know someone can do that! Of course, if you can be perfect there's someone else who can be too. I'll end up with the freaky and flawed and that's okay. I don't deserve to receive more than I can give." I catch my breath after revealing my darkest secrets to him and dig my nails into my palm, hoping he won't leave me like I left him. He clears his throat, and my heart starts beating a million miles a minute "Uhm, wow, Sarah, wow. I'm not even too sure what to say back.. You thought I was too good for you?" I nod earnestly and I swallow hard "Isn't that every girls dream? To be with a "Prince Charming"? Not that I am anything near one." I lean back in my seat and shrug "Yeah, it is, but what about the guy in the situation? Wouldn't Prince Charming want his own Perfect Princess too?" He laughs lightly and I swear that in this moment, I've never heard a sound so sweet "Sarah, you were my Perfect Princess. You just didn't see it. You were perfect. My type is simple, but definitely not average. You're a doctor, Sarah. That's not average. You survived a whole kidnapping, and then a bomb attack. Average, really?" I smile every so slightly "I guess I'm not normal per say. Thank you, though." He nods in recognition and continues "And about you becoming worse over time? Am I in another lapse of the universe where time doesn't affect me? I promise, I won't always be the hot teen the medias go crazy for, my voice will deteriorate, I won't always be calm and collected, I'm not always calm and collected. I'm just as flawed and you are." I start to doubt my own reasoning, something I had been sure of for weeks. He takes my hand in his and his golden brown eyes pierce mine "Baby, you're perfectly wrong for me."

A/N: Thanks for reading and don't forget to vote and comment! ❤️