The Vault

That's Where You're Wrong - Alex Turner Fic (requested)

October 14, 2014

"This is why we're always fighting!" Alex shouted at me. "This is why we can't be fookin' happy with each other any more! You won't tell me anything! You're me fookin' girlfriend, aren't you supposed to open up to me? Tell me about your day and I'll tell you about mine? Isn't that how these things are supposed to work?"

"Yeah? Well I'm not the mushy, 'open-up' type of person," I snapped back, crossing my arms as we glared at each other from across the room. "And you damn well knew that when you asked me to be your girlfriend. So I don't what the fuck your problem is now. Three fucking years after we'd been dating."

"This! This is your problem!" He growled, throwing his hands up in a frustrated manner as he began pacing around our little livingroom. "You just don't trust me enough, is that it? I've tried to get you to open up and you just won't fookin' let me help you with whatever your problems are!"

"Well that's your problem! You can't change people, Alex. You just can't." I tried to stop the tears from coming, but they just pooled up in my hazel eyes with no remorse. "I trust you, I do, but there's nothing to talk about right now. Why can't you just accept that? I had a bad day at work, that's it! There's nothing to make a fuss over, yet you always do. You always turn this into some big fight when it doesn't have to be! Why can't you just leave me alone for once, instead of having to go digging through all of my problems?"

"Because I fookin' care about you, Erin! Because I fookin' care!" He yelled, his voice weakening with each word. He stormed past me, grabbing his black leather jacket off the back of the couch as he made his way towards the front door of the house. "But you want me to leave you alone, hey? That's what you want? Well fine!"

Before I could even utter a single syllable, the front door slammed and Alex was gone. The house we'd bought together last year, seemed eerily empty without him. Suddenly, the weight of my terrible day, plus my fight with Alex, crashed down on my shoulders. Physically, I collapsed into a heap on the floor as I sobbed, letting out all of the emotions I was trying to hide from him since we'd first begun dating. 

Really, I was just a fucked-up girl with a fucked-up past. I knew Alex was going places. He was getting big and I didn't want to drag him down with my problems, so I never told him about any of them. I stayed closed off to him, only listening to him talk about his issues, his days at the studio, how touring would often beat the piss out of him. I never opened up to him about anything… And for a while, that worked. 

He'd ask me occassionally and I'd just shrug off his question and tell him that I was fine. I'd placate him by switching the question to something of his interests, or I'd just tackle him in a kiss and he'd forget about anything he'd asked me prior to. Really, we'd been dating for three, almost four, years and he still knew nothing about me. 

But then again, why should he? Again, I'm just a fucked up girl and he's a rock star. Why should I tell him what's really bothering me? Why should he have to know that my 'bad day at work' was actually the result of getting a call from my abusive mother, whom I'd ditched several years back, calling and telling me that my brother was recently hospitalized and has cancer. Why should I tell him that the only thing that had ever gotten me through my nightmare of a family life, was music… Sometimes his music, sometimes my own. Why should he have to know that, sometimes, I cry myself to sleep thinking that I could wake up and he'll be gone - abandoning me just like everyone else had. He doesn't deserve any of that extra baggage. 

Sniffling, I got up off the floor and shuffled up the steps, into our large bedroom. Walking through the bedroom, I made my way into the large ensuite bathroom, where I drew myself a bath in order to try and calm down from my rough day. After sitting in the warm bubbles for nearly an hour, I decided to climb out of the, now, lukewarm water.