Breakin Me Lovin Me

26

"Beep Beep Beep." I hear the monitor, making the slow torturous sounds, continuously.

My stomach is killing me and my head hurts like shit. What the fuck happen? I feel like I got ran over by a big ass train. Or maybe it was a big bird like in Elmo, the yellow bird. He use to scare the shit out of me. Like why are you so yellow and big? No reason.

The drugs they gave me are making me crazy.

I finally open my eyes and it's bright like always in a damn hospital.

"Ugh."

I finally stop squinting and I look around the room, it's empty and plain, too bright, and too much white.

"May I come in?" A nurse says.

"Yeah."

She walks in and moves around the room collecting objects.

"I'm going to check your vitals."

I just nodded not wanting to talk and I guess she noticed.

"Need some water?"

"Yes, please." I rasp loudly. I clear my throat knowing it didn't do shit.

She walks out of the room and comes back one minute later handing me a cup full of cold water.

"How are you feeling?" She asks after I take a sip, not giving me a chance to chug it down.

"Good I guess. I feel pain in my stomach and head."

"1 to 10. The pain."

"Head 6 and stomach 9."

She just nods her head and it's silent for a while.

"The doctor will be in any second." She smiles lightly.

I nod back.

She leaves to check on other patients I assume and about 10 minutes later the doctor comes in with the same nurse.

"Hello, ma'am. How are you this fine morning?"

"Good as can be."

"So I hear you're having some pains in your stomach and head, correct?"

"Yes."

"How bad does it hurt?"

I tell him the same thing I told the nurse.

"Alrighty, I'll give you some pain medicine for your head but about your stomach." He pauses.

"What?" I ask.

He doesn't respond.

"Is my baby okay? Did you give me a C-section?" I ask getting worried.

"This is a crucial time for you right now. You're going to go through a lot of setbacks, so you need somebody there for you. I prefer a family member if not a close friend, if not we can offer you somebo-" I cut him off.

"What the hell are you talking about, Doc? I need answers." I start to cry.

He leans in and puts his hand on my shoulder.

"I'm sorry for your loss."

They walk out and let me cry in peace about 2 days later I have no information about anything, not even my baby, Lamonte, the man who saved me nor Marcel.

"Can I come in?" A deep voice says.

"No... I don't know you."

"Well, I know you....sort of." He walks in anyways.

"Is it Opposite Day?" I ask.

He chuckles.

"Your funny and no."

"Thanks, I get that a lot... never gets old." I sarcastically say.

"I have some news for you."

"And..."

"That woman didn't make it."

I sit quietly not saying anything just motionless.

"And Marcel." He continues.

Tears come out and I feel numb to everything. This isn't happening, this isn't happening.

"No."

"I'm so-"

"No!" I yell.

He sits there looking at me with pity.

"Stop."

I can't form sentences just words.

"NO!"

"NO!"

"NO!"

I just keep screaming and screaming.

"Calm down, love."

"NO!"

"I'm so-"

"If you say that word one more fucking time. I'm going to kill you myself!" I yell in pain.

He looks at me and smiles.

"It's your fault you know."

"What?" I ask hella confused.

"You killed everybody you loved even my..."

"Shut the fuck up!"

He listens then walks out of the room laughing and mumbling shit that I did to cause this.

The world really hates me, my baby, Marcel, and my friends. How could you do this to me! I was always good, I think I was.

I never meant for this to happen...none of it.

Now, I don't have any family left.

This can't be happening.

This can't be happening.

Hey loves I can't even be excited cause everybody is dead to me. I hope you have a better life than the one I'm in right now.

Bye losers.....