For those who have ever fallen in love and to those who wish for nothing but too feel true love. This is a warning. A statement. A fact. The truth about true love. The movies are wrong. It is not the feeling of joy and happiness. The sensation of flying through the air as your heart is pounding with ecstasy. It's not the feeling that everything doesn't matter in your life. That everything can go wrong and you will be happy because the person you love, loves you back so it will all be okay. No, this is a lie. The truth is that true love is the exact opposite. True love is a pain-filled experiance that will torment you for all of eternity. You will have this hunger in your heart and in your soul that will never be satisfied. True love will slowly eat away at your resolve breaking it away until you dont have enough to stand. My feelings not only grew but they chnaged. They were twisted and were constricted into an addiction. The hardest thing of living used to be what will happen in the future and it is now just trying to stay alive when you are not by my side. I know you love me and I know I'm yours forever, but why do feel this pain in my chest everytime I take a breath? When ever I'm not with you I get to the point of suicide and I an unable to stand. My body craves for you and my mind begs to know if you are okay. I get paranoid knowing full well eveything is alright. I know you love me deeply. I swear it. But if this is true love I want no part of it. I'm plagued by wants and needs but non can compare to the crave and desire I have for you. I can go days without eating or sleeping but I can't go one hour with out you before thoughts of suicide flood my mind. Is this okay? Am I crazy for becoming dependent on you? Am I stupid for saying that this is true love? These feelings have their good days and those good days are great, but those fleeting moments are followed up with an pulsing-splitting pain in the back of my mind that will drive anyone to the very edge. The edge where you question if it's even worth it and only the strong can persist and experiance the bliss of love and happiness? It is said that only the lucky few get to experiance true love. I have been one of those people and it is not a blessing but a damnation to suffering. Please tell me I'm wromg. Pease tell me that it's not true love. I beg to be wrong because if this is true love. Then I want non of it.
~ Rose 2018
