Second Bite of the Apple

Chapter 38: Walk Away

Chapter 38: Walk Away

I didn't go into school the following day, or the one after that. That's the thing with running away, once you start, it becomes harder to go back. I knew I should have gone straight back after I'd given my statement but something about hiding away in the crook of Laura's neck was all too inviting. I had no willpower when it came to those laurel green eyes. Like feral vines, they snaked around my body, drawing me in and squeezing all sense out of me. I was well and truly ensnared, caught under Laura's spell. She may have done a fine job of keeping me in, but one thing she was powerless to do, was keep Ethan out.

The texts came in waves, presumably in the spaces between classes. Each one sent a little shiver down my spine and I felt my stomach drop with every vibration of my phone until I felt positively nauseous. Despite the knot building in my throat, I kept smiling. I couldn't let Laura catch on. I knew she would lose it, and that would only spur Ethan on. I turned my phone to silent in the hope that I could forget about it all, even just for a little while. After almost 48 hours of jumping every time my phone bleeped, I really needed a break. I needed to sleep.

Laura had gone for a bath, the room was slightly dim and I could feel my eyelids getting heavy. My phone slid from between my tired fingers as I slumped lifelessly against the soft feather pillow, letting exhaustion wash over me at long last.

When I woke I sat bolt upright panting hard. A cold sweat was dripping down my forehead and back and I could definitely feel a wave of nausea fighting its way up my throat now. Laura was leaning over me, a sheer look of panic etched unforgivably upon her delicate features. How much had I given away? I spotted my phone several metres away on top of the dresser and suddenly it all came flooding back to me.

"Sian, talk to me please," Laura encouraged gently.

"I'm sorry," I confessed immediately.

"Don't be sorry, it's that bastard that should be sorry!"

So she had read my messages. I didn't have the strength to be angry. It was a relief not to have to hide anymore.

"I should have told you," I admitted, realising that no matter what, we were in this together now.

"You don't need to try and protect me Sian, I chose to get involved with you, just as I am choosing to stay by your side now. I may not have known what I was getting in to, but I'm not ignorant anymore. Let me help you."

Her face was so passionate and determined that I couldn't say no. I couldn't say anything at all so  I just nodded meekly, keeping my eyes fixed firmly on my knees.

"I guess this explains a lot," Laura continued matter-of-factly.

"It does?" I looked up suddenly in surprise, wondering what it was exactly that Laura had sussed.

"Going to the police? I'm presuming that was revenge?"

She knew me too well. It was a spontaneous act of hatred and revenge, something that I'm certain is going to come back around on me for the worse. Ever since I had stepped out of that police station I had felt nothing but regret and doubt. I think that's part of the reason I didn't want to go back into school. I was certain that if Ethan looked into my eyes he would know what I had done. Despite the fact that the last few years had been a complete lie, he could still read me in a way nobody else could. 

"I hate him!" I spat suddenly, anger overtaking my emotions.

"Join the club," sighed Laura bitterly.

"Let's see the worst then," I said, gesturing for Laura to hand me my phone.

"You really don't want to see that," she shook her head at me, not moving an inch.

"If I can't protect you, then you can't protect me," I said resolutely.

Knowing that for once I was right and she couldn't talk me around, Laura silently reached for my phone and placed it cautiously into my outstretched palm. I took a deep breath before turning to my messages. My entire inbox was Ethan. The latest:

Ethan: Gheeze Sian, you really are stupid. Don't think I haven't noticed, you and Little Miss Music skipping school together. I'm not the only one who's noticed either...

Just then a new message flashed along the top of my screen. I briefly had time to register Ethan's name before I opened the message to reveal a single word captioning a blurred but distinguishable photo.

Ethan: Screwed! 

I sat motionless staring at the picture. Two figures were clearly visible through a car windshield - one mousy brown and the other a dark brunette - with their arms tightly wound around the other, lips pressed firmly into each others. He was right. We were well and truly screwed!

Laura had instantaneously picked up on the look of fear filling my eyes. She tried to grab the phone from my relentless clutches but I wouldn't give. I just sat motionless, unable to let go, rooted to the spot with fear. How could I be so stupid to let this happen? How could Laura be so stupid? A thousand possibilities flashed through my mind, but not once did I see a way out. It was too late.  I couldn't take back the statement I had made, just as I couldn't take back that first kiss with Laura. Although, honestly, given the chance, I'm not sure I would even if I could.

Laura gently prised my fingers away from my phone and looked down at the screen. All the colour drained from her rosy cheeks and her eyes dilated in terror. Guilt struck me hard. I had caused this. She had given me so much to smile about and I had done this to her. I'd ruined everything.

"It's going to be okay," Laura said firmly, "It will be okay."

She seemed to be re-assuring herself more than anything. I remained silent knowing that nothing I had to say would be of any benefit. I wanted to be able to help her the way she had helped me. I knew that if I couldn't convince myself then I stood no chance of convincing her. She had always been able to see right through me. Still fixed firmly to the spot, my mind continued at a mile a minute. Each thought was more ludicrous than the next.

"Let's run away," I shrieked suddenly into the silence.

"What?" Laura stammered, fear quickly transforming into shock.

"Let's just get away from it all. We can be together and nothing can get in our way or stop us! Not Ethan or Matt or the school and..." I paused for breath.

"Stop!" Laura cried. "You have no idea what you're saying!"

"Yes, I do! I do!" 

I had no idea what I was saying now. I just knew I couldn't stand back and let this all fall apart. I loved Laura and had to protect her. She needed to see how serious I was. I would go to the end of the earth and back for her. I was lost in my thoughts, caught up in my ideas and solutions. I was shaking with adrenaline, enable to let it go. I was buzzing, a mixture of fear and excitement coursing through me. I ripped the duvet away from my body with trembling hands and sprung almost cat-like to my feet. Laura hadn't moved or said anything but I carried on. Several times I span in circles, clutching at my hair. Wardrobe. I wrenched the door open and pulled several shirts from their hangers. A warm pair of hands snaked slowly yet firmly around my waist, pulling me back.

"Stop," she whispered against my neck. "We can't do this."