Second Bite of the Apple

Chapter 40: This Is The End

Chapter 40: This Is The End

"But I thought... You two?" Mrs Darby voiced the confusion I was currently feeling.

I thought so too but all of a sudden my mind was overtaken with images of Laura in that club and the tall stranger wedged in between her legs. He'd done this to her. I wanted to hunt him down and make sure he never had the chance to do this to another woman again. I knew I was avoiding the obvious though. After all, it takes two to tango. Laura was as much to blame as he was. I wanted to storm through to the office and demand she speak with me but I knew this wasn't the time. Laura might not have even figured it out herself yet, and I should let her tell me in her own time. By then I may have calmed down a little and come to terms with what had happened.

"Look after her please," I sighed dejectedly before walking out of the door and back towards the main school.

I knew that just like me, Laura trusted in Karen Darby. I knew she was my best hope right now. In fact, she was my only hope in a world that was rapidly deteriorating around me. In a trance-like state I swept through the corridors, ignorant to everything around me. I heard a harsh ringing trying to break through the smoke screen surrounding me. The registration bell was trying to reach out to me but it sounded distant, like I was trapped underwater. Drowning. I knew I should head up to my form room but I just wasn't ready. Instead I fell through the toilets door and headed into a cubicle. Without even bothering to remove my backpack, I slid down against the wall, my head in my hands. I didn't even have the strength to cry. I felt completely numb.

My phone buzzed loudly, vibrating against the cracked ceramic floor. I wrenched myself out of the daze I had slipped into and pulled the device expectantly from my pocket. However, the message I was greeted with only served to darken my mood.

Ethan: You can't run forever Sian

He was right in more ways than he could possibly know.

With legs are heavy as lead, I dragged my feet up the staircase towards form. I didn't have the strength for Lindsey's taunting voice this morning. In fact, I didn't have the strength for anything. I wanted to walk straight down the front drive and run, but even as the thought crossed my mind, I realised I had nowhere to go. Under any other circumstance, I would run to Laura. So what do you do when the one you usually run to becomes the reason you want to run?

Mr Kennedy was talking; something about open evening for the new potential students. I knew this was an important event and always meant a hectic schedule for the music department, but right now my priorities lay elsewhere. Laura may not even know. I may not even be right. Just because she was trying to pull away didn't stop me from pulling her back. I needed her here with me, regardless of her situation. I needed her. It was that simple.

I was out of the door before the last toll of the bell had even struck through the air. I'd made my decision and I needed her to make one too. As much as I hated him right now, Ethan did have one thing right, nobody can run forever. Rain was thundering on the roof and the glass panes that lined the corridors and along with the darkening skies, everything was growing dark. By the time I reached the language corridor, my cheeks were flushed and I was panting heavily. Without pausing, I thrust my body against the cold metal bar that ran the width of the back door and headed out into the brewing storm. Icy droplets lashed at my face, quickly numbing my cheeks and soaking my clothes. I was beyond caring right now. I didn't look back or hesitate for a moment, scared that if I did then I might just change my mind. I pushed the door open and let the warm scent of resin wash over me, immediately slowing my heart rate. The corridor was surprisingly quiet and there was no sign of either Laura or Karen.

I caught a brief glimpse of myself in the rain-drenched glass. My hair was clinging lifelessly to my pale skin and my eyes were wide with fear. As the adrenaline slipped away, I realised just how massive this situation was and if truth be told, just how petrified I was of how Laura was going to react. I'd come this far though. I wasn't about to turn back now. I pushed my way through to the main classroom and cautiously maneuvered my way through the array of desks and stupid plastic chairs. I paused only briefly, with my finger tips resting lightly on the door handle. My entire hand was quivering and I don't think the cold had anything to do with it.

"What are you doing down here?"

I spun around to find myself just inches from Laura's body, her eyes a vibrant green that did not coincide with the sickly grey pallor of her complexion.

"I just -" I started, "I was worried about you."

"Don't be," Laura snapped shortly, turning to leave.

I acted before I could think, my chilly hand closing around Laura's slender wrist, pulling her back round to face me. I knew immediately that I had made a mistake. Laura's eyes were ablaze with anger, the vivid green only just visible through narrowed cat-like slits. I could see her chest heaving against the constraints of her slate-coloured shirt whilst the rush of blood through her veins was all too prominent under my vice-like grip.

"Let me go," she spat at me, forcefully punctuating each word.

Reluctantly I released her arm from my clutched, setting her free.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, my eyes fixed firmly on the laces of my patent black brogues.

"I am your teacher Sian! You can't just go around clinging hopelessly to me whenever you get a little bit needy. I've got my own life! And a career, which funnily enough, I would actually like to keep!"

At that point, I looked up, taken aback more than anything else. What on earth had I missed? Maybe Ethan's threats had finally taken their toll on Laura's nerves. The only problem was that I couldn't just let her go. I was totally and completely in love with this beautifully complex woman and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I was even starting to come to terms with the potential baby too. How could she just give up like this?

"I know, I just thought -"

"Well you thought wrong then didn't you!"

I couldn't take it anymore. My blood was starting to boil; concern rapidly turning to anger.

"I care about you! What's so wrong with that?" My voice was rising steadily, threatening to break a little more with every syllable.

"I don't need anyone to care about me! I'm fine!"

That was a lie. I knew that lie. I'd told that lie more times than I care to remember. Deep down she was just as lonely as I was and she needed someone to look after her. More than that, she was definitely not fine.

"Whether you need it or not, I want to! Please just let me in!"

"I don't care what you want! You shouldn't even be here!"

"For fuck's sake Laura, grow up and just admit we're in a God damn relationship! Why is that so hard for you?"

"Have you ever taken a moment to think about what I want?"

"That's all I think about! I have lost so much already, I can't bear to lose you too!"

"Grow up Sian! You can't honestly tell me you thought this was for keeps! It was fun while it lasted but you need to move on. I have."

The final two words cut through me like fire and ice at the same time. Had I been deluding myself all this time or was this just a fling? Images of the last few months started streaming through my head, flickering like an old black and white movie. These were interspersed with images of Laura with that guy from the club; the guy that was more than likely the father of her unborn child. I felt my stomach flip at the thought of the three of them together and had to fight down a sudden wave of nausea.  I wasn't prepared to just give up like this, not after we had come this far.

"This isn't the end," I choked, turning away and heading out into the pouring rain once more.