Second Bite of the Apple

Chapter 24: Going Under

Chapter 24: Going Under

After a while, Mrs Darby managed to coax me into an upright position, but my knees still stayed firmly against my chest. I wasn't about to let my guard down again. My hands were clammy and, despite the fact I'd been laying still for so long, my heart beat was accelerated and irregular. I could feel my head spinning from the moment I sat up, light-headedness sweeping over me in waves.

"Are you okay?" 

I wasn't sure. I felt like the last few years of my life had been a lie and I didn't have a clue who I was anymore. With Mrs Darby's words, all of the thoughts came sweeping back. Blinding panic struck me hard and I suddenly felt terrified. I didn't want to be here. Even Darby seemed like a threat. How much did she know? Whose side was she on? My head was swimming by now, probably due to my shortage of breath. Had all the oxygen been sucked from the room? The walls, were they closing in?

I could just make out Mrs Darby's lips moving but it was like I was looking through a filter. I couldn't hear anything though, just a rushing in my ears. Maybe it was the blood pounding in my head. No, it was more like I was under water. All my senses seemed to be impaired and I was suffocating. No, I was drowning. 

"Sian, Sian, can you hear me?" the words were distant and distorted, only just breaking through the haze that seemed to have ensnared me.

My head lolled across my chest before I managed, with some considerable effort, to look up at Darby. My vision cleared slightly and revealed the concern burning in her eyes. I managed to groan in response, but couldn't seem to find my voice. Nausea tore through me and I felt bile searing my throat. I fought to stop myself throwing up, heaving slightly under the strain. Wordlessly, Mrs Darby placed the bin in front of me and sat patiently whilst I was violently sick. When my body had finally stopped convulsing, I ungraciously wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve before letting my head fall back on to my chest, every ounce of energy drained from my body.

"Sian, stay with me. Come on," Mrs Darby coaxed me back to consciousness as I felt myself slipping. "Have you taken anything?"

Had I? I couldn't remember. I tried to piece together the fragments of what had happened since Laura told me she'd been reported. Images of Ethan and Matt raced through my mind, flickering like an old black and white movie. I couldn't distinguish what was real from figments of my imagination. A brief flash of an image of my hand closing around a pill bottle. Wait, stop. I forced my mind to rewind. The memory felt solid, but then again, so did hallucinations. I knew that. Had I taken something? What were they? Paracetamol? No. Sedatives. I only got them since I started sleeping at Laura's in an attempt to control the nightmares when I was with her. Maybe I did take one. Just to calm myself down. Or two perhaps, just to block out the thoughts. I fumbled clumsily in my bag and pulled out the bottle. It didn't rattle like it usually does. Mrs Darby carefully took it from me and shook it, still no sound. It couldn't be empty, I only got that prescription a few days ago. She was examining the label now, her eyes wide with fear.

"Sian, do you have a mobile I can use? My phone is in the office but I can't leave you alone like this."

I gestured towards my bag again where I knew I'd discarded my phone as Ethan approached.

She rummaged around amongst several textbooks and scraps of paper before withdrawing my phone. A brief look of surprise flashed across her face, or was it suspicion? It was gone so quickly I couldn't be sure I had seen it at all. My focus was slipping again, Darby's voice sounded murky as she spoke into the handset.

"Yes, ambulance please," she was saying.

I tried to argue but I still hadn't quite mastered speech yet. As soon as I attempted to open my mouth, I could feel the nausea take over again. My mind was a blur but occasionally words jumped out at me like overdose, lorazepam, and unconscious. I opened my mouth again to try to alert Darby that I wasn't unconscious, but thought better of it and closed it again. I could see Darby soothingly stroking my arm but couldn't feel a thing apart from the ceaseless tingling running up from my fingers. I know I should be afraid but right now I just didn't care. I shut my eyes, not bothered whether help arrived or not. 

I was awoken to the sound of loud voices and beeping. I couldn't figure out how many people I was surrounded by but nobody sounded familiar or seemed to be talking to me. My eyes flickered open as I caught my name being said. I was staring up at a dull white ceiling but unusually could hear the sound of cars too. Was I inside or out? Why did everything have to be so confusing? The ceiling started to move backwards, making my head spin again even though I was lying down. Then it changed to a cloudy afternoon sky and I realised that it was me which was moving. I twisted my body a little and saw a doctor and several paramedics around me, two of which were rolling my trolley out of the ambulance and across a car park. A quick squeeze of my left arm made me turn to the other side and I saw Mrs Darby running alongside, her expression sick with worry. I realised that I didn't give a damn what happened to me, as long as she was okay. I quickly lost sight of her as I was pushed through a set of doors and off down a long corridor. All too soon the overwhelming hospital stench closed in around me and I felt even more sick. Naked clinical lighting flashed by over my head, far too bright to be natural. It was making my head hurt so I closed my eyes again and gave in to sleep.

When I next opened my eyes we had stopped moving. My whole body ached like somebody who had just conquered Mount Everest. I didn't feel sick anymore thankfully. I tried to lift my head but I didn't have the strength, the same applied to my arm. My whole body was a complete dead weight. The beeping was still there, but less obtrusive now, just background noise, almost like the ticking of a clock. The lighting was less impertinent too, in fact the room was relatively dark. The only source of light was a simple lamp in the corner which was creating ominous, distorted shadows around the room, which contradicted with the warm glow it was emitting.

I managed to ease myself onto my side and saw two figures in the room with me. One curled up on a chair in the corner, seemingly asleep and the other silhouetted perfectly against the moonlit window. Even before she turned around I knew who it was. I'd ran my hands over that figure so many times lately that I knew her body almost as well as my own.

"If you didn't want to meet me after school, you could have just said so," Laura laughed, "Surely the prospect of spending another night with me wasn't that bad?"

I could have kissed her for handling this so well and not doing the whole concerned, lecturing thing on me. I knew I'd have all of that to come from Mrs Darby once she woke up as it was. Laura crossed the room to my bedside and I registered just how beautiful she looked in the incandescent light from the moon. She helped me to sit up before tipping a glass of water slowly to my dry lips, letting me take a few hesitant sips. I fleetingly recalled the evening she had spent feeding me extortionately priced wine before pouring it all over my body. The thought made me smile.

"How did you know?" I croaked eventually.

"Karen," she said simply, indicating the dark shape huddled in the chair and I realised she was referring to Mrs Darby.

I shot her a puzzled look, asking for more by way of explanation.

"She rung me," Laura started, "from your phone..."

"Oh crap!" Suddenly I remembered Darby with my phone. 

I must have been delirious, I never let anyone touch my phone. I realised that my phone must have immediately shown up a multitude of calls and texts from Laura due to my absence when we'd agreed to meet. All of which, Darby would have unintentionally seen.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't think -"

"Don't be so silly! Whatever happens, you're safe and alive. That's all that matters to me," she stopped me mid-sentence. "I'm glad I'm here," she added as an after-thought.

"So am I," I whispered gently, admitting just how much I needed her.

"You should rest, you've been through the wars today."

Laura took my hand and I realised I was hooked up to an IV, the needle burrowing under the surface of the skin on the back of my hand. 

"I've been through worse," I said, my voice hollow and flat.

"We'll talk in the morning," Laura promised kissing my forehead tenderly.

I slumped down on my pillows and let sleep wash over me.