Second Bite of the Apple

Chapter 33: Cataclysmic Confession

Chapter 33: Cataclysmic Confession

It took Laura a full three hours to calm me down, and another half an hour after that before I finally managed to say anything.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, "you don't have to stay."

"You're not getting rid of me that easily," she said firmly, her arms wrapped tightly around my body.

And she was right. For the entirety of half term she stayed with me or I stayed with her. After Friday, neither of us mentioned what I'd told her. I knew she was waiting, knowing that I would crack eventually and bring it up again. I knew she was right, but she was going to have a long wait. The next day I stayed in bed until the early afternoon. When Laura woke I stayed deadly still, my eyes closed tight. I hadn't slept all night but feigning sleep was the easiest way to guarantee peace. I just wasn't ready to talk yet. She sat beside me for at least an hour, just watching me. I could feel her eyes on me, and occasionally the gentle brush of her skin against my cheek.

Eventually she left and I could hear her bustling around in the bathroom. Clearly she felt a lot more at ease in my house than I originally had at hers. Then again, she seemed at home pretty much anywhere. Mostly we stayed indoors for the week, primarily at Laura's place because I needed the escape. Maybe it was just me but it felt like there was an extremely prominent silence in the air, tension increasing each day, just threatening to snap the atmosphere completely. My walls had started reforming and my smile was a little too wide. I was slowly slipping back beneath my masquerade, too afraid to let Laura see me break.

It wasn't until I was in the shower at Laura's on the Sunday night prior to our return to school that I remembered something she'd said to me. Something about her knowing how I felt or standing in my shoes, or something. I couldn't remember her exact words. I'd been trying desperately to block that conversation out all week, so trying to remember the details was like trying to hold sand in my bare hands. The minute I tried to think about what she had said, I could feel it all slipping away. I knew I hadn't imagined it though.

That night I lie awake, staring at the ceiling. Laura's arm was draped across my stomach, but far from feeling safe, I felt trapped. My mind was working overtime, desperately trying to fill in the missing puzzle piece, but I couldn't. I wanted to wake Laura; to demand she told me what it was she had said and why. I couldn't do it though. She looked so oblivious lying there, her eyelids fluttering slightly as she slept. It could wait until morning I'm sure. I used that thought to spur myself into getting some sleep but my mind wasn't convinced. Every time I closed my eyes Laura's voice flooded my mind, pulling me back from reaching the dream state she was clearly basking in.

Darkness turned to light and birdsong soon sounded outside the windows. Not long after that, the alarm shattered the peace of morning, dragging Laura back into consciousness. With her face still firmly planted into the mattress, she wearily opened one eye and looked at me.

"You look like crap," she confessed before closing her eye again.

I didn't bother responding. I didn't even have the energy to be offended as she was probably right. Instead I threw my feather pillow at her face and quickly ducked out of bed and headed for the bathroom. I heard a muffled grunt escape from Laura's lips before the door swung shut behind me. Hollow eyes accompanied by some rather dramatic dark circles met me when I braved a glance in the mirror. Laura was right, I did look horrific. My hair was sticking up at odd angles, the result of getting into bed with wet hair last night.

I didn't have the energy to tackle the bird's nest that was my hair, so settled instead for scraping it into an incredibly messy bun. A thick coat of concealer, plenty of mascara and a thin line of eyeliner soon fixed my eyes. Well almost. No amount of make up could hide the expression in my eyes - one of apprehension and fear. I knew I'd have to confront Laura, sooner rather than later. I added a layer of crimson lipstick for good measure before turning back towards the bedroom. I took a deep breath and braced myself before pushing the door wide open.