farm boy // joshler

16

tyler's point of view

boyfriends.

the word swirls around in my mind as i sit next to josh in his car. neither of us wanted to go home yet, so we ended up at the movie theater with twenty minutes until the next showing.

"what's this movie about again?" i unlatch my seatbelt and pull my knees up to my chest.

"i dunno. debby ryan is in it though," he shrugs and undoes his seatbelt as well.

"radio rebel? ew." i stick my tongue out at him. "i hated that movie."

"she was in the suite life on deck though," he counters. "that was a good show."

"pft. they get to study on a cruiseship and travel the world and i have to go to a tiny high school with dusty lampshades and teachers who don't teach." i complain to him about school and he offers me a soft smile.

"you only have one year left. you'll live." he rests a hand on my knee and i shake my head.

"you were homeschooled. it's different," i sigh and press a kiss to his hand.

"i was only homeschooled for the eleventh and twelfth grade, tyler. i didn't live in a bubble." he laughs a little at my dramatic tendencies and squeezes my knee.

"i hate it." i lean my head back and close my eyes. "and i hate this heat. i'm wearing the shortest shorts i own and i'm still sweating."

"yes, but you look cute while doing it." he smiles a little wider and i blush.

"thank you."

"tyler," he says my name quietly and then i look over at him and wait for him to continue. instead of words, his message is a kiss, lingering and warm.

our lips move slowly, but when i feel his tongue slide over my bottom lip, shivers run down my spine.

i open my mouth a little and his tongue glides across mine. i feel my body temperature rise beyond whatever degree it is outside and when his teeth just barely bite my bottom lip i whimper softly. i blush in embarrassment and he pulls away.

"you're so cute," he taps my nose with his index finger. "come on. let's go watch this movie."

i take a second to readjust myself before i get out of the car. he takes my hand in his and swings them between us.

"i can't believe you're just going to leave me hanging like that," i mumble, fanning myself with my free hand as he pays for the tickets.

once we get inside, he leans down to to speak in a volume only i can hear. "we just started dating today, ty. i have to save some of the anticipation for later." he leaves a discreet kiss on my cheek and then gets in line for the popcorn as if he did not just drag my mind through the gutter on purpose.

-

when the movies over, i find myself hoping that josh doesn't ask if i enjoyed it. my pride is too large for me to admit that i enjoyed a movie with debby ryan in the cast, especially after i talked so much crap about it beforehand.

"so, how did you like the movie?" josh asks, opening my door for me.

dang it.

i wait until he gets into the car and i shrug. "it was okay."

"oh, come on. i heard you giggle a few times, and i even saw you wipe a tear at the end," he teases me as he turns the key in the ignition.

"i have no clue what you're talking about," i cross my arms over my chest and deny his accusations... which may or may not be true.

"sure." he laughs a little and then we fall into a comfortable silence.

i lean my head against the window and watch the town pass by. the radio plays an unfamiliar song but my ears focus on josh's humming anyway.

"you okay?" he stops humming and glances over at me. "you're being pretty quiet over there."

"i'm okay."

"what're you thinking about?" he asks, turning to finally pull into the rocky driveway of his uncle's farm.

"nothing, everything." i shrug and unbuckle my seatbelt. he takes my hand before i can open my door and i look at him with slightly wider eyes.

"you can talk to me, okay?" he looks at me directly. the eye contact is more intimate than what i'm used to, but i do my best to hold it anyway.

"i know." i smile softly at him. "thank you."

he brings his hand up to the side of my face and swipes his thumb across my cheek. "come on. let's go inside."

once we're in the house, i ask what he wants to do.

"i don't know. i was thinking about painting but i don't know what to paint," he shrugs and drops onto the couch.

"hm. you could paint..." i let the word trail off my tongue in thought. my mind goes blank and i take a seat next to him. "i dont know."

"very helpful, tyler. thanks."

"you're welcome." i wink and he shakes his head. "but really, what should we do?"

"but really, i don't know. we could just watch netflix." he leans his head on my shoulder and stares at the tv, which is turned off at the moment.

"sounds good to me." i wait for him to lift his head and then reach forward to get the remote off of the coffee table. "what do you want to watch?"

"i don't know," he repeats my words from earlier.

"you never know anything." i laugh a little and look through netflix.

"i know that i like you."

"that was so lame," i pause and look over at him instead of at the tv. "but i guess you do know a few things."

"you know what else i know?"

"what?"

"it's going to break my heart when you leave in august." his smile fades, and mine does too.

"we still have two months." i look down at the carpet. i hadn't even thought about what would happen when it was time for me to go back home, for me to start school. "and we can still keep in touch. we can text and skype. we could even write letters to each other," i offer, trying to remain somewhat upbeat.

"yeah. i guess," he clears his throat and then paints a fake smile across his face. "let's just pick something to watch, yeah?"

"yeah..."

we put on the office and sit in a content quietness, but my mind is much louder than the tv playing in front of me.

all the what-if's of what might happen when i leave in august bounce around my brain, harsh echoes of 'what if he forgets about you?' and 'long distance never works.'

maybe it'll be different for us.

or maybe it won't.

(an: so im editing this on 6/19/22 and instead of graduating highschool, im graduating college in like 327 days and im getting married in 99. but how are you? what do you think will happen for tyler and josh when summer ends?)