I woke up the next morning with my body screaming in pain.
I didn't mind the pain. It made me feel alive.
Despite the fact I was broken.
I slowly got dressed & did my make up. I didn't bother to put on a lot of mascara, I'll probably end up crying it all off anyway.
I walked downstairs one stair at a time, my body aching. I looked down the hall & saw my dad & Martha eating breakfast.
I didn't bother to go down there. They'd probably just hit me again. I've had enough of this already. & the worst part is I can't tell anyone, I have to hide it from everyone.
So many secrets, & no one to tell them too. I would tell my mom, but I haven't seen her or even spoke to her. Which hurt me a lot.
My stomach doesn't growl much anymore, I guess I got used to not eating anymore. I wasn't worried about it anymore anyway. I didn't deserve to eat. And when I did I would just throw it up, and I hated doing that. So I don't eat.
I walked out of the house & began to walk to school. It was far, but I wasn't driving to school beside my dad. I heard my dad yelling for me to come back but I couldn't stand to even look at him.
"Fine. Walk fat bitch." He yelled as he slammed the door.
Ouch.
I never thought my own father would be like this towards me. But I can't blame him.
I got to school a half hour later exhausted. I walked up the stairs and into the building. I kept everyone starring at the bruise on my face & I tried to ignore them.
I heard someone coming up behind me and I turned around.
"Hello beautiful." Mason said.
I was caught off guard from his compliment. "Oh hi." I said quietly.
"What's wrong?" He asked.
"Nothing." I said as I walked away to go to class.
I didn't talk for the rest of the day & skipped lunch so mason wouldn't ask me more questions. I didn't want to push him away, but he deserve to deal with someone like me. I was just another worry.
I was so useless.
Just a waste of space.
I deserve all the pain I go through.
