"Abyss what happened to you!!!" He yelled again.
I couldn't answer, I didn't know what to say.
My dad quickly came out of his room and starred at me, "Oh my god!" He yelled, "You fell down the stairs!"
He put on a fake act as he ran down the stairs. The hate was building up inside me but I couldn't speak. I just laid there like a helpless fat bitch. I'm so worthless.
"Please I'll take it from here." My dad said, "You can go home, who ever you are. Abyss is fine."
He pushed Mason out of the the house without another word and shut & locked the door.
He looked down on me & pulled me up. My body screamed in pain but I didn't show any emotion.
"Get your fat ass to your room. I don't want to see you for the rest of the day." He said as he threw me against the stairs.
"I have to start dinner," He said. "You stay in your room you're not getting anything. You don't deserve it and you need to lose weight."
I didn't look at him as I walked upstairs. I haven't ate in 5 days. I was used to the stomach pain. It didn't seem like much compared to all my cuts & bruises on my body.
I got to the stop of the stairs & went in my room & quickly laid down on the bed before my legs gave out. My body hurt more than ever.
I wish I would've spoke up when Mason came. I could've told him what my dad did to me. He could've helped me, he could've known what happened to me & did something about it. But I stayed quiet like a dumb bitch I am.
I felt so angry at myself. I got up despite the pain & quickly grabbed my box with the razors. I cut my thighs & arms until I couldn't feel anymore. I made long slits on my wrist & short ones on my thighs. i still had so much anger.
I looked around & saw the picture we took with my dad when I was little. I grabbed it & threw it against the wall and watched it shatter. I felt a little relief when I saw it being destroyed a long with all the memories.
I grabbed another picture & some old books I had and threw them. I grabbed my dresser and slammed it down breaking it while all my clothes hit the ground. I threw my desk down & threw all all my stuffed animals acrossed the room.
i looked around my destroyed room & saw the mirror on the wall. It was the last thing that I haven't touched.
It caused me the most pain. It showed me a figure I never wanted to see.
it showed me a broken girl who hated everything about herself.
Too fat.
Too ugly.
Too tall.
Not good enough.
I swung my arm back and punched it. It shattered as glass hit the floor & went into my hand. I screamed in pain as I hit the ground holding my hand.
I began to cry as I looked around. My room was wrecked. I never been so angry before, I've never had so much hatred.
I hated the person I've become.
Im a monster.
& no one can save me.
