The Girl Guide

Chapter 10

As soon as we arrived in the parking lot, everything suddenly started to sink in, and I was getting a little overly excited. I was going to a huge party, with a boy I really like, and he actually asked me, himself, with no influence from me at all. Oh and did I mention the fact that he asked me twice? Twice. Oh and here we are, at the mall, choosing a dress and matching suit for us to wear, so we look like the perfect couple, well whatever we are.

I remember clearly when Jake told me that he wasn't ready for a relationship. I just started teasing him about it and appeared to take it lightly. Truthfully, it did kind of hurt. I know I shouldn't take it personally, and I know I definitely wouldn't be his first choice if he was ready for a relationship, but the fact that there isn't really a chance of us dating, like at all, does kind of suck.

I have to admit that I really do like Jake. Ever since the first day I actually met him, he's kind of been on my mind. But not in the way you guys would think. I come up with these weird scenarios about what kind of adventures we could go on, and how much time we could spend together, not as a couple, just as friends. I think we really could develop a strong relationship, and I'm really hoping that us going to this party together can help that cause.

I am awakened from my thoughts when Jake coughs as if checking that I'm still alive and here.

"Sorry, what?" I ask, feeling bad that I wasn't really paying my full attention to him. Well I was, but not to what he was saying right at this moment, but whatever. I have to focus for the rest of our 'shopping date' and not let my thoughts get in the way. Jake isn't looking for a relationship, and I'm not really sure if I am either.

I can't actually remember the last boyfriend I had. It must be at least a year and a half, and I honestly can't remember who I was in a relationship with. I know that I'm friends with some of my ex's and we kind of act like we never happened, but others I simply can't remember.

I know that sounds really bad and kind of makes me sound like a slag or whatever, but they weren't serious relationships. I mean, if they were serious, surely I'd remember them.

I find that I am day-dreaming and going off on different tangents once again, and I can see that Jake is beginning to grow tiresome of my vacant attitude today.

"Raina, is everything okay? Are you having second thoughts about going to the party with me? Because I'll totally understand. I know about Callie and everything, so if this all a bit too much, just tell me alright?" Jake says sweetly. No! I am definitely not having second thoughts, but I can suddenly see why he would think so. I am definitely not acting the way I should be. But it's not my fault he is taking over my whole brain. If he could see inside my head, he would realise that I'm really not thinking about anything else other than him. But of course, he can't see in my brain.

"No, no! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I keep zoning out for no reason, I'm so sorry. I am totally excited to be here with you today!" I say, trying to reassure him. I can tell by his small smile that I may have just succeeded in doing so.

"It's just I want you to know that if your mind is occupied with something else, then we can totally do this another day. I shouldn't have even suggested doing all this so soon- wait, you have other plans don't you?" He doubts himself, and everything really, way too much. I keep feeling like I have to keep reassuring him and making sure he's okay.

"No, I really don't. We couldn't have done this any other time, the party is so soon! Trust me, being here with you really is the only thing I want to be doing right now." I say truthfully. If this doesn't convince him and put his mind to ease, I don't know what else I can say that will.