I must have been through about ten episodes in the third series of Catfish when my phone rang. I picked it up to find my mothers caller ID flashing across the screen.
I click the answer button and bring my phone to my ear.
"Is everything okay?" I ask, glancing over at the clock hanging on the wall opposite to where I'm sitting. It's just gone half past six and my mom and sisters haven't arrived yet, when they were supposed to arrive at six.
"Everything's fine, except Annette's train got cancelled by about two hours, she's only just now leaving and it will take her a good three hours to get to the station. It looks like we'll be staying in a nearby hotel for the night." she replies.
This may knock some people, but I'm kind of used to my mother not getting home until 3 in the morning after working night shifts and my sisters being out at a friends or wherever, so it's not really that bad for me, I'm used to it.
I keep trying to convince myself.
I'm used to it.
I'm used to it.
I'm used to it.
"Oh right, that's a bummer! You be safe okay, all three of you. What time will you be back?" I say, ensuring my voice doesn't break at any moment, showing any sign of weakness.
"I'm so sorry Raina, I can't believe this train has been delayed to late. Lock all the windows and doors, there's food in the fridge. We'll be back around 12 tomorrow morning. I'm so sorry again. You're just so strong, but you shouldn't have to be enduring all of this-"
I cut my mother off. I am certainly not in the mood for a heart to heart or soppy chat with her right now.
"It's fine, I'm used to it. Okay, bye." I say bluntly.
"I love you," she says in a soft and apologetic tone.
"Yeah," I sigh and hang up.
I don't want to sound like a baby or anything, but I really hate being alone at night. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to be this strong. I wish I had a full family and my father was still here, so I wouldn't have to spend nights alone. I would never be left to fend for myself.
I decide to ring Ricki.
Me and Ricki have always been bestfriends, but we haven't been as close as we have lately. Me, Ricki and Callie are all bestfriends and do everything together, just the three of us. There's never just two of us doing something, it's always three. But now that Callie has been in hospital for so long, me and Ricki have been hanging out more by ourselves. I think I've gotten to know the real Ricki.
She comes off as this hard nut that doesn't let anyone get in her way and hurt her, and that's respectable, but it's not the real Ricki. If you take the time to dig a little bit deeper, you'll find young Ricki. Ricki that wasn't abandoned by her parents and thrown into a foster care home. One that hasn't lost trust for everyone. One that is sensitive, kind, caring.
She only opens up to a few people, and it's when she's in this vulnerable state, I know that she's been through an utter shitload, but she's still here, which makes her the most respectable person I know.
"Hey, Ricki?" she answers after two calls.
"Hey, what's up?"
"Can you come over? Like sleep down mine tonight?"
"Uh, yeah okay, sure. I'll be down in a few. What's happened?" she asks.
"It's happened all over again, I knew it would. Come down and I'll explain everything, I promise." I end the phone call.
About 10 minutes later, Ricki arrives at the door with her sleeping bag and rucksack, holding multiple bags of Doritos and other junk food. I smile slightly. She knows exactly what I need.
"So, tell me everything." Ricki says, pushing past me and dumping all her stuff on the sofa. She definitely knows how to make herself at home, which is actually a good thing I guess.
I tell her the whole story and she listens intently. Her facial expression turns into a frown when I mention the fact that I would have been alone tonight if she hadn't come here to cheer me up.
"So she thinks that none of this affects you? Who does she think you are? Captain America?" Ricki shouts resulting in me trying to stifle a giggle.
"Yeah, I guess she just kind of overlooks the fact that I have feelings too. She doesn't seem to have that mothering sense about her really, she just does what is best at the time, not taking into consideration anyone else's feelings and the consequences she might have to face because of her careless actions..." I say, sighing.
"Well don't you worry little one, I'm here now and we are going to have the best time." She smiles, pulling out two seperate green bottles from her sleepover bag. I glance at the alcohol and snacks, and stack of movies and smile. This is exactly what I need.
A bottle of wine each, five movies, three bags of doritoes, four packets of oreos and three bags of popcorn later I've already forgotten about all of the problems I had. Ricki and I had just prank called two Indian takeaway's and put them on the phone to eachother. We were both crying laughing as both takeaway's were so confused and were screaming at eachother.
"O-okay I think we need to put them out of their misery," Ricki slurs, tears of laughter streaming down her cheeks.
I just nod and carry on laughing. We hang the phone up and burst into even bigger fits of laughter.
"This is why we're bestfriends Raina, we both have the same sense of humour!" Ricki cackles. I find everything funny tonight, so I just laugh along, not a care in the world. I feel like I'm able to breathe for the first time in months, forgetting about all of my problems even if it is just momentarily until the alcohol wears off.
"Thank you for coming Ricki, tonight could have gone a completely different way if it weren't for you," I say, meaning it even in my drunken state.
"Dude, you've said that at least a billion times since I came through that door, chill! I needed exactly this too!" She smiles, throwing her arm around my shoulders and giving me a sideways hug.
The rest of the night goes pretty much the same, watching movies, laughing, gossiping, crying, hugging and just being ourselves, enjoying this breather. Everything was starting to pile up on my shoulders recently and tonight I've been able to just shake it off and enjoy myself.
I dread to think of how tomorrow's going to go, but at the moment I don't even want to think about it. I deserve to be happy, I deserve to be free.
Underage drinking oops.....>-<
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