If Walls Could Talk (lashton)

Chapter 14

It had been three weeks since Ashton last laid eyes on Luke. Three weeks since Ashton had felt Luke's soft lips against his own. Three whole weeks since he'd wrapped the younger boy in his arms and held him tight. Three weeks since Ashton had last felt a drop of happiness.

Of course, Ashton had spent the rest of that night getting completely and totally wasted to the point where he ended up having to call Mitchy just to get home. He refused to think about what he had done. He didn't want to think about how this possibly ruined not only his relationship with Luke but the band's relationship as well. The guilt nearly swallowed Ashton whole, so he spent the night drowning his sorrows in shot after shot of bourbon and trying to ignore the aching gash in his chest made by Luke's parting words: I hate you.

The morning after the incident, Ashton woke up with a pounding headache and the same pain in his chest from the night before. The bitter taste of regret-filled Ashton's mouth, and he scrambled into his bathroom where he proceeded to vomit up every last remanence of the night before.

Ashton felt like actual death as he spent the majority of the morning draped over his toilet, but he knew that was what he deserved after what he had done.

Three weeks. Three goddamn weeks since he saw those crystal blue eyes that he craved so deeply. Three weeks since he had gotten to run his hands through the singer's bouncy curls.

Of course, he had tried calling. He had left a voicemail every single day Luke had been gone, and like expected, every one of his calls went unanswered. The only reason Ashton wasn't freaking out over his disappearance was that the next day he received a single text from Calum saying: Luke's with me. Fuck you, asshole.

Ashton groaned as he sprawled out on the couch, beer bottle balancing between his legs as he flipped through channels. He didn't know why he was attempting to take his mind off of Luke, he knew that there was no way some stupid tv show could wipe the haunting image of Luke's tear-filled eyes from his mind. He settled on an old rerun channel playing early episodes of Seinfeld and downed the rest of his beer before running his hands down his face. No matter what he did, he couldn't stop the ache in his chest from growing deeper and deeper day after day.

Ashton glanced at the broken picture frame that lay mangled on the hardwood floor and sighed. As much as it hurt Ashton to look at the glass-framed picture of him and Luke, the memory of Lissa's last words hurt more.

"Do you think I'm a fucking idiot, Ashton?" Lissa's voice hissed as she threw down the magazine on the kitchen countertop. "How could you do this to me? To us?" The tears glistened on Lissa's cheeks and she swiped the back of her hand under her eyes.

"Lissa, listen it was a mistake, I didn't mean-"

"To hurt me? Or to hurt Luke?" Lissa's voice dropped as she finished her question and she finally lifted her eyes to meet Ashton's. He could see the disappointment that filled her bright blue eyes with tears, and he felt his stomach twist in knots.

"It's not like that, Lis, it didn't mean anything!" The words tasted sour coming out of his mouth.

"Ashton, I'm not dumb. I've seen the videos of the kiss online. You don't just kiss someone like that and not mean it!" Lissa's tone was harsh and Ashton saw the pain lurking behind her eyes as she pursed her lips. "You are such a fucking jerk Ashton. Not only did you humiliate me, but did you even think for a second what you did to Luke? No, you didn't. Because you only ever think about yourself." Ashton was speechless. He let his eyes linger on his feet.

"You're such a goddamn coward, you can't even look at me!" Lissa laughed, throwing her arms in the air as she stalked out of the kitchen and made her way towards the front door.