If Walls Could Talk (lashton)

Chapter 13

"Luke, I know Ashton's been a total cock to you, but you're going to have to face him eventually! The album comes out in, like, three months, and then you're going to have no choice but to talk to him. Why not do it on your own terms?" Michael tossed a cold bottle of beer to Luke as he entered Calum's living room and not so gracefully collapsed on the couch. It had been three weeks since the kiss, and Luke had been crashing in Calum's guest room, ignoring all of his messages.

After Luke and Ashton's lip lock had graced every front page of the tabloid magazines, Luke had no choice but to come clean to Michael about everything that had been going on over the last year. Michael was furious when the baby of the band revealed the dirty truth to him, and Luke had to practically restrain the guitarist from driving over to Ashton's apartment and kicking his ass. Since then, all three boys had been avoiding contact with Ashton, but as the release date of their third album grew closer, Mike and Calum had started pressuring Luke to talk to him.

"Yeah, Mike has a point, Lu," Calum cleared his throat before leaning back and placing an arm around the back of the white leather couch, "if you don't knock that prick's teeth in then I'll gladly do it for you." Luke sighed, pressing pause on the Xbox controller he held and tossing it to the side in order to crack open the beer.

"He's not a prick, Cal, he was just scared..." Luke trailed off as he brought the bottle up and wet his lips with the bitter drink. Of course, when Ashton had first kissed Luke in front of a hundred flashing cameras, Luke had been pissed. He wanted nothing more than to scream and cry and yank his hair out by the roots.

He hated the devilish drummer with every fiber of his being. But as the weeks went on and Luke spent night after night replaying the moment Ashton's plump lips smashed against his own, Luke came to the realization that Ashton hadn't meant to hurt him. Ashton would never intentionally hurt Luke, he couldn't. Ashton was hurting, and he panicked.

If anything, in a sick and twisted way, the kiss made Luke realize just how much Ashton truly cared for him. In Ashton's deluded mind, outing what they had was the only way he had any chance of keeping Luke close. It was crazy, but that's just how Ashton's mind worked, and Luke was beginning to understand that.

"Luke, are you fucking kidding me?" Calum laughed in disbelief, tossing his empty bottle down with a clank. "He's been nothing but a manipulative asshole to you from the moment this whole thing began! He was taking advantage of you, Luke. He was using you for his own twisted gain. He didn't care how you felt for one minute! Stop trying to make yourself believe that he did. He only cares about himself."

"You don't know him the way that I do, neither of you does," Luke said in a hush as he took another sip from his bottle. Michael sighed before scooting closer to the brokenhearted boy and throwing his arm around his shoulder.

"Luke, you're not thinking straight. Ashton has you wrapped around his finger, can't you see the damage he's already caused? You're not the same guy you were before." Luke felt the anger bubbling up inside of his chest at Michae's words. He knew that his friends were just trying to help, but he hated how they spoke about Ashton. Even after everything Ashton had done to him, Luke still had an unbelievable urge to protect him.

"Before? Oh, you mean the Luke that was too fucking depressed to get out of bed for days on end? The one who wouldn't sleep or eat or shower? The same Luke who was strung out on coffee and Xanax for months? You want him back? You mean to tell me that Luke was better? Ashton might have treated me like trash sometimes, but at the end of the day, he helped me find myself. He's the one that put me back together, and even though he drove me fucking mental, when I was with him I was still ten times happier than I was with Arz.

 I thought I knew what love was with her? Fuck that I was so damn stupid! That wasn't love. This is what love feels like. This fucking hole in my chest because no matter how much of an ass he is, I still fucking love him." Luke finished with a huff, crossing his arms and slouching further into the couch before realization finally dawned on him as to what he just said.

"Luke," Calum sighed, the protectiveness behind his chocolate eyes melting into pity. Luke felt his limbs beginning to shake, whether, in fear or nerves, he had no idea. This was the first time he had ever let himself admit to how Ashton made him feel. This was the first time he had let the word love cross his mind when talking about Ashton, and even though it shocked him to the core, a part of him wasn't surprised.

He knew that as scary as it was to admit, it was true. Luke loved Ashton. Of course, he'd known for a long time that he liked Ashton, but he had never admitted to the very real possibility of loving him. And now that he had, he felt like the weight of a boulder had been lifted off of his chest.

"Luke, we didn't mean-" Luke could faintly hear Michael and Calum rambling on in the background, but the only sound that rang prominently through Luke's ears was the roaring of his blood and the whooshing of his heartbeat. His vision began to spin.

"I, uh-" Luke pinched the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger. He furrowed his eyebrows and cleared the lump from his throat, trying his hardest not to let the tears that were forming behind his eyelids slip. "fuck, fuck!" He yelled out, letting his head drop back as he stared at the ceiling. His friends had grown silent as they waited for him to say something, anything to diffuse the situation. Luke's mind was swimming and his vision blurred as he jumped to his feet and threw on his jacket. "I need to go."

"Luke, what? Wait, where are you going?" Calum panicked as Luke pulled on his converse and grabbed his keys from the side table near the door.

"I, I just need to go," Luke said as he wiped away the few tears that had managed to sneak through.

"Luke, wait! Just calm down a minute, yeah?" Luke could hear the worry in Michael's voice as he tried to reason with him, but Luke was passed the point of rationality. He needed to be alone.

"N-no. No, I can't." Luke sniffled as his heart constricted in his chest. He felt like he was about to burst from pain and embarrassment as the realization finally hit him. He loved Ashton. He was in love with Ashton Irwin.

Before Michael or Calum could protest anymore, Luke slipped out the door, running out into the freezing rain and letting the cold droplets clear his mind as he walked. He wasn't sure where he was going, he just knew that he needed to getaway.

* * *

"Fuck, fuck!" Calum whined as he tugged at his raven locks while pacing the floor. This was not how he expected their night to go. "I can't believe he- did he really say that he- oh my God, Michael! What the fuck are we supposed to do?"

Michael sighed as he grabbed his cell phone off of the coffee table and dialed the familiar number.

"What are you doing?!" Calum said in a panic as he attempted to snatch the cell phone out of Michael's hand. Michael pushed the Kiwi boy back, holding the phone up high in the air as it rang. "You can't call him!" Calum hissed as Michael pressed the phone to his ear, and Calum groaned as he heard the voice of their drummer on the other end.

"Ash?" Michael started, clearing his throat before meeting Calum's worried eyes, "You need to get over to Calum's right now. It's Luke. He ran off... again." 

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A/N: Hi I know this chapter is short but it's kind of just a filler cuz the next chapter will be drama filled! I love you all& just wanted to get a quick update out because I'm sick and have been in and out of sleep all day! 

I love you all pls check out my newest stories it would mean the world to me!!!

I know this update is short so hopefully I'll have another update up within the next few days since I'm on break now!! Please be sure to vote, comment, and share! xoxo

-Emma