101 letters for you, Lou (Larry Stylinson) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 15 - Lost My Everything

I woke up to 3 lads on my bed looking at me worry visible in their on their faces. Liam was the first to break the uncomfortable silence between us “How are you feeling, Lou?”. I held my head in my hand in pain “I’m fine just have a headache and feeling a bit dizzy” I looked around searching for a certain curly headed boy but with no success. “Where’s Harry?” suddenly all of them looked at each other and gave me a sympathetic look then Liam spoke “Don’t you remember, Louis? You came here and found Harry’s lifeless body lying on your couch you called an ambulance then called me and we all came…then…” I put my hand in my pocket and was surprised when I found a piece of paper inside so I took it out and opened it. Everything flashed in front of me Harry’s lifeless body being taken, the paramedic telling me that they couldn’t save him anymore. Tears streamed down my face like a river I took a deep breath “Can…Can you leave me alone for a m-moment?” and they all left after giving me a sympathetic smile.

I took the paper and started reading it while more tears were streaming down my face. These were Harry’s last words, Harry’s suicidal note or letter or whatever they call it. But what hit me hard was what it first said Dear Louis it was for me. I took a deep breath before I started reading. Sadness and sorrow filled me with every sentence every word I read. I read the letter over and over again, almost memorizing every word of it. I felt a mix of emotions shocked, angry, sad and confused and guilt.

I recognized the tears that streamed down Harry’s face while writing this letter, staining it. Saw it mix with my own as I shed some myself. Yet it wasn’t enough because Harry’s already gone.

I broke down, screaming trashing everything in my room. My mind was screaming at me to cut, do the thing I thought that I already was over with. But apparently not. I kept screaming and throwing things across the room, till I felt strong arms hold me tight. I looked at the person who was holding me with a strong grip.

It was Liam, tears in his eyes with a sympatric look in his eyes. He took me to bed and started caressing my hair telling me that everything will be alright. As much as I wanted this comfort coming from Harry, it wasn’t. Yet I still leaned in and accepted it, too tired to even fight back anymore. I lost everything that meant anything in my life. I lost Harry, my everything.

Niall’s POV:

 After we went out of Louis’ room we stayed in the living, deciding that we’ll spend the night here in case anything happened. And how right we were. Suddenly we heard screaming and things crashing coming from Louis’ room. We all hurried there but Liam told us that he’ll take care of him and we should go back to the living room. After some arguing me and Zayn gave up and went back to the living room. I started crying cause of Louis’ heartbreaking sobs and screams. I felt someone hugging me and without looking at who is was I knew it was Zayn, I leaned in still sobbing.

I can understand Louis’ pain, coming home after such a long time to see your best friend and lover dead on your couch in your house. Just in the exact same position Louis was in when he tried to commit suicide. It must have crashed his world, just like it crashed mine but no one will be more affected by it more than Louis. We all loved Harry like a brother, but no one loved Harry more than Louis does.

After about half an hour Liam came out, tears were visible in his eyes but he whipped them off with his hand. He wants to be the strong one for us and I understand. I go to him and give him a long strong hug. I look at him in the eye “It’s okay to cry, Liam. If you want to cry do it, you don’t have to be the strong one for us now. Just let it out you’ll feel better, yeah?”. He looked at me and nodded as the tears streamed freely down his face. Zayn came near us and we had a big hug together then we sat on the couch. Sad and exhausted from all what have happened today we fell asleep there. In hope Louis will be a bit better tomorrow but we all knew deep down that Louis’ condition won’t be able to improve in a long time, but all we can do is hope.