101 letters for you, Lou (Larry Stylinson) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 19 - Waking Up For You

I went home and took all of Harry’s letters with me to my bedroom to read them. That’s the least I can do from him after all. I took the first letter with shaky hands and opened it. I was afraid of what was coming. I took a deep breath and started reading the letters. I could literally feel everything that Harry had felt. I felt how the he lost his happiness with each letter he had written and with each day passing. I could see the dried tears on the letters and sometimes some blood was on them too. The thought of Harry cutting killed me more. Everything was described here how he started drinking so much to forget the pain till he started cutting and eventually till his last breath. The tears never left my eyes once since I’ve started reading Harry’s letters.

How much I wished I could’ve gotten released a day earlier. Only one day, I could have been able to save him. But no matter how much I wish this would have gotten true, it never will. If we could only turn back time.

I looked around me; the room was a mess letters everywhere along with broken things. I went to my desk and sat down. I took out a paper and started writing; I wrote everything that had to be told. All of the truth is now going to be known hopefully by everyone. I wish that the lads won’t hate me after this. I put the folded paper on the kitchen counter and headed to the bathroom.

I let the tub get filled with water while I was looking for some sleeping pills. This time I’m sober so I’m not going to call anybody over. But I am sure that even if I was drunk at this moment I wouldn’t have called any of the boys, ‘cause unlike the last time I don’t want to be save because I don’t have anything to live for anymore. Harry was my life, my voice, my reason to be, he was the only thing that kept me alive, the reason I was attached to the ground. He was the reason for my sanity and without him I’m nothing, ‘cause he was my everything. That’s why I didn’t hesitate when I took a handful of pills and shoved them into my mouth and swallowing them at once.

After I made sure that there was nothing more in the bottle I dizzily made my way to the tub and got inside. The water felt nice on my skin, warm and calming. I felt my sight getting blurry. I smiled to myself as I started seeing the so familiar black spots appear in front of me and my heartbeat going slower. I look my last breath before everything got dark, and this time I hope for forever.

When I woke up I was surrounded by darkness. Shouldn’t I be in heaven now? I could feel a hand touching mine, the familiar feeling of his hand on mine. I tried tightening my grip on his. Suddenly I could hear his voice calling for me, it sounded broken as if he had been crying for hours. His voice became clearer with every passing minute and after a while I could make up what he was saying “L-Lou please, wake up. I know you can hear me Boo. Please open your eyes for me.” What does he mean, my eyes are already open but I can’t see him. “Harry!” I screamed from the top of my lungs but he didn’t hear me. I tried to think why Harry would tell me to wake up yet I couldn’t come up with any helpful explanation. I tried to sort of open my eyes like Harry pleaded me to do.

Suddenly I could see a bright light and Harry’s face. My eyes were burning from how bright it was in this room. I blinked for some more till I could open my eyes completely. And I was met with the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. I was lying on a hospital bed with Harry sitting on an uncomfortable looking plastic chair next to me, holding my hand tight.

I wanted to ask Harry what was wrong and why he was crying but my throat was sore and dry and as if Harry could read my thoughts he brought a cup filled with water near my lips allowing me to get rid of my dry throat and being able to talk again.
“Why are you crying, Haz?” I asked, he looked at me and hugged me, his body shaking with sobs and he was panting. I started whispering to him that everything would be okay till he stopped crying looking at me again.

“Don’t you remember what happened?” he said. I looked at him confused so he started telling me what happened “Well Lou, we had a fight and afterwards you went out and left me alone. About 5 hours after that I got I call it was from the police, they told me that you got drunk and in a car accident.” He started sobbing again and I could see that he was trying his best not to start crying again. “You don’t know how worried I Lou. I took my car and drove as fast as possible to the hospital, but when I arrived you were still in surgery. I was so afraid that something might happen to you. But after you came out the doctor told me that you were in coma and they don’t know when you’d wake up and if you’d ever wake up. You’ve been in coma for 2 months now Lou I was so afraid that I will lose you.” and he started sobbing again.

I took him in my arms and kissed him, it really felt like we haven’t kissed since ages. His lips felt like heaven on mine. I looked at him and smiled making him simile, his beautiful dimpled smile. Just as we wanted to kiss again a doctor came in. I groaned and Harry chuckled “Oh I forgot to tell you that I told the nurses to bring the doctor”. I smiled my eyes filled with fond and so were Harry’s.

“Well Mr. Tomlinson, you look good and I’m really happy that you woke up. I’d just like to make some tests to see when we can release you” he said and was going to exit but then he stopped and looked at us with a smile “Oh and you’ve got yourself a keeper Mr. Tomlinson” and then he left.

I looked at Harry and he blushed and bit his lips, how much I’ve missed his blush. I got closer to Harry and kissed his lips. I smirked and said “Yeah I know, he definitely is”.