101 letters for you, Lou (Larry Stylinson) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 18 - The Truth Always Hurts

so fucking sorry about not updating for soo long but it's getting a bit shit with school and all its stuff but I'll try and update as often as I can

When I woke up it was 8 o’clock groaning as the sun made its way into my bedroom. I went to change my clothes, putting a beanie on my head due to my bad hair. After changing I took my wallet, mobile and car keys and headed towards my car. I have to do this I told myself as I started the engine and started driving towards Eleanor’s place.

I decided to turn on the radio since it was pretty lonely. As it turned on the radio and the man’s voice filled the car “This will be our last song for today by someone the world will never forget. Here is ‘Don’t let me go’ by Harry Styles and Goodbye”. Slowly Harry’s smooth deep voice filled the car.

Now you were standing there right in front of me
I hold on, it's getting harder to breathe
All of a sudden these lights are blinding me
I never noticed how bright they would be

I saw in the corner there is a photograph
No doubt in my mind it's a picture of you
It lies there alone in its bed of broken glass
This bed was never made for two

My eyes filled with tears as I heard Harry’s voice again. How much I missed him. How much I missed his laugh that would lighten up my day just by listening to it. His voice was music to my ears.

I'll keep my eyes wide open
I'll keep my arms wide open

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

I remembered how excited Harry was when he sang it to me for the first time. He sang it with so much love, just expressing every word with it every meaning behind it.

I promised one day that I'd bring you back a star
I caught one and it burned a hole in my hand, oh
Seems like these days I watch you from afar
Just trying to make you understand
I'll keep my eyes wide open, yeah

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone
Don't let me
Don't let me go

 

The tears that I tried so hard to keep in, sprung free and streamed down my face as I thought of the cause Harry actually sang this song. It was because if the situation we were in. It was when I got Eleanor and all this shit that management had put us through.

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of feeling alone

Don't let me
Don't let me go
'Cause I'm tired of sleeping alone

Harry’s voice slowly started to fade and after it vanished completely I turned the radio off, whipping my tears with the hem of my hoodie and concentrated on the road.

After about an hour I stood in front of Eleanor’s apartment ringing the doorbell as suddenly Eleanor opened the door. “Louis?!” she said surprised that I was here and to be honest I would be too if I was her “What are you doing here?” she asked. “Eleanor I have to ask you something” she looked at me nervously but nodded nevertheless. “Did you tell my therapist that any contact by Harry with me would worsen my condition at the time I was first hospitalized at rehab?” I asked and she looked totally shocked by my question. She looked as if she was panicking inside and having an inner fight till after some minutes have passed she sighed and looked at me with sad eyes “Y-yes that was me. But I didn’t do it voluntarily though. I was forced to by management. I’m…I’m sorry Lou, I didn’t mean to hurt you in any way” she said looking guilty. I was filled with anger at management. Again them, it’s always fucking them ruining fucking everything. I stormed from my place in front of Eleanor’s door and headed to my car again. Shouts of stops didn’t stop me from taking off and heading to Modest! They were going to regret everything they’ve done. Even if it’ll be the last thing to do.

 

I was now standing in front of Modest!’s head building and the anger that I had tried to tame while driving here rose again. I stormed inside the building and within second I was in front of the head of our management Mr. Alfred his emotionless face started at me and then he smiled “Ah! Mr. Tomlinson! What a surprise I just wanted you and the other lads to come here”.

I looked at him with disgust how could he be able to smile after what he’s done. He and his fucking team were the technically the cause of Harry’s death. “How can you sleep at night after what you’ve done? You were the cause, you and your pretty fucking team were the cause that Harry killed himself! You!” I started screaming at him furiously. “You sent Eleanor to my therapist to tell her to forbid me any contact with Harry. I now know every fucking thing!” I went to him and picked him by the hem of his blazer “You weren’t just satisfied by tearing us apart and making our lives a living hell. And that only because of your damn money, just so that one direction won’t fall apart because two members were dating. But you know what? One direction had been falling apart for a long time” and I started punching him while he screamed for the security to come and take me out. I suddenly felt two strong arms pull me away from him and taking me away from Mr. Alfred “You killed him, you monster! Fuck you! Let me go!” I started screaming but the security man threw me outside the building.

Tears were now falling freely from my eyes and suddenly I felt something wet on my skin. I looked at the sky to find it cloudy and starting to rain. It started raining yet I didn’t move I let myself get soaked by the rain. Rain mixed with my tears. After some time I decided to stand up and go somewhere. I took my car and started driving, not really long after I arrived where I wanted to be the most Harry’s grave.

I sat there next to Harry’s grave tears still streaming on my face while getting more soaked ‘cause of the rain that still hasn’t stopped. “Hey Harry! I really miss you. I now know why I didn’t receive anything from you Harry. I guess you could watch it from above” I took a breath and continued “I love you, you know. I hope you know. I’m so tired of all this, Harry. And I’m sure you’re pretty lonely there, aren’t you? But don’t worry you won’t be for long” I smiled at Harry’s grave.

Hope you've liked the new chapter and unfortuanly as some of you might have noticed my little fanfic is gomming to an end soon. 

Don't forget to comment or vote :)

love you, 

Sherine