101 letters for you, Lou (Larry Stylinson) (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 17 - Found Your Letters, Haz

I woke up to someone banging on my door. I groaned and decided to ignore him when I heard Zayn speaking “Louis Tomlinson, if you don’t open the fucking door now, I’m gonna break it down” I groaned again and stood up to open the door. “What the fuck! I’m trying to sleep” I shouted at them annoyed. They all had a look of relief on their faces then Liam spoke “Lou, don’t lock the door again like this, we nearly had a panic attack because we thought you’ll…” he sighed then continued “You’ll try and do it again”. I understand what they meant, they probably knew that something bad will happened but not when “Don’t worry I won’t do it again” “Not yet” I mumbled so that they won’t hear me. “I’m sorry lads but I have something to do see you later” and I went to take a shower leaving them with shocked faces.

After I showered and was fully dressed I went to my car and drove to the place where I never thought I’ll go there voluntarily the rehab center.

I went to the information desk and asked for Dr. Lindsay my psychologist. After waiting for her for about 10 minutes she came and hugged me. “Oh Louis, it’s nice seeing you here again. I heard about Harry, I’m really sorry for your loss” she said and gave me a sympathetic smile. I froze as she mentioned Harry but I tried to shrug it off. “I have to ask you something really important. Did I get any letters from Harry in the time I was here?” she eyes me with a worried face “Well, there were quite a lot of letters which weren’t brought to you while you were here” she said “Can I maybe see them, it’s really important” she told me to follow her and I did so.

 We went to her office and she held a box for me “These were all the letters you weren’t allowed to receive while you were here; I guess I can give them to you now” I took the box and looked at the sender’s address. My eyes widen as Harry’s address was written on each letter. Tears streamed down my face, I closed the box and looked to Dr. Lindsay “W-Why wasn’t I allowed to receive these letters from all the others that I’ve received” I asked. “A girl came here a while ago, just as you were brought here. She went and talked to me about your condition, she asked me if she could see the list of the allowed people you cloud have contact with. Of course I said no cause it was something personal, but she told me that she was your girlfriend, so I gave it to her. Then she told me that it’d be the best if Harry wasn’t in it ‘cause it might worsen your condition. So that’s what I’ve done”.

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, how could Eleanor do such a thing. I didn’t know what to do; I want to cut so badly and my wrists are itching. I want to see the blood dripping from my open wrists. My knees were too weak to hold me anymore, so I fell on the floor screaming in agony, Harry’s letters still in my hands, more tears streaming down my face.

Dr. Lindsay came rushing to me and tried to calm me down. After about half an hour I eventually calmed down. And told Dr. Lindsay that I was going to leave, she didn’t want me to leave saying that I still wasn’t mentally stable to go home alone. But after lots of arguing I won and promised her not to do anything silly.

I really wanted to go to Eleanor and ask her but I just couldn’t anymore. I didn’t have the energy to move anymore. I just wanted to go home and sleep. So that’s what I’ve done I went straight home. I opened the door and found that the lads have left so I went straight to bed too exhausted to even think about anything anymore.