A Second Chance | Nikki Sixx

Chapter 10.

(I just wanna say thank you to RandiMcMickin for this idea! It was a huge help, love!☺️)

Carly's POV

I sat on the couch as I watched the boys rehearsing their newest song, Hooligan's Holiday. I bounced Gunner on my leg as he watched Nikki. "Isn't Daddy awesome?" I asked Gunner, he smiled and giggled. "I'll take that as a yes." I giggled. Nikki looked over and smiled at me. Nikki and I have been getting back to us being friends, slowly but, surely.

They finished playing and I held Gunner's arms and clapped his hands, causing him to laugh. "That was great, guys!" I said, happily. "Wasn't that great, Gunner?" I asked, looking at him. He cooed happily and I smiled wide. "Even Gunner liked it!" I said. Nikki smiled. "Thanks, Carls." He said and put his bass down. He walked over and picked Gunner up and sat down next to me. "Were we good, Gunner?" He asked and kissed his cheek. Gunner smiled and wrapped his arms around Nikki's neck. "He thinks so," I said. "How do you know?" Nikki asked, smiling at me. "Just got a feeling." I shrugged and smiled.

"But, we were good?" John asked. "Absolutely, that song has to be a single," I said. "I was thinking the same thing," Nikki said. "Smoke break!" Tommy said, loudly and got his cigarettes out. "Hey! There's a baby in the room!" I said. Tommy laughed. "God, you sound like a Mom," Tommy said and rolled his eyes. He got up and started to walk. "Care to join?" He asked, holding up a second cigarette. "Sure," I said and got up. I walked over and took the cigarette out of his hand and thanked him as we walked outside.

We sat down on my bike and I lit a cigarette. "So, how's it going with you and Nikki?" He asked, exhaling the smoke. "It's good, we're getting back to being friends. Obviously, it's not like it was before. We've both matured a lot." I said. He nodded. "Did you hear that he filed for a divorce with Brandi?" He asked. I nodded. "Yeah, he told me. I'm pretty sure she hasn't signed the papers yet, though." I replied and took a drag of my cigarette.

Before Tommy could say anything else, we heard tired screeching in and our heads snapped over to the car that was pulling in. Brandi got out and she looks pissed. Tommy and I shared a glance and watched her storm in. "I'm going in, she seems pissed off," I said and quickly finished off my cigarette, I flicked it away and quickly went inside, Tommy following. I walked in and saw Nikki and Brandi in a pretty heated argument. Gunner started to cry. I quickly walked over to where Gunner was sitting on the couch and pulled him into my lap and started to bounce him.

"Brandi, I told you, I'm done!" Nikki yelled. "You can't be!" Brandi yelled back. Gunner started to cry more and I leaned over and got his pacifier for him. He calmed down a bit as I continued to bounce him on my leg. "I've had enough! All this yelling and arguing!" Nikki yelled. "You can't leave me!" She yelled and grabbed his arm as he tried to walk away. "Oh yeah? And why's that?!" He asked. "Because!" She yelled. "I-I'm.. pregnant!" She yelled. The whole room went silent. My heart started to slam against my chest.

"You're pregnant?" He asked. She nodded. "Yes!" She exclaimed. Nikki didn't reply right away, he gripped the bridge of his nose and breathed out. "Come on, let's go home and talk about this." He said, calmly. He walked over and lifted Gunner up. "Thank you for calming him down." He said, quickly and flashed me a small smile. I returned the smile, even though it's forced and they walked out together. I dry swallowed and looked down at my lap.

"Are you alright, Carly?" I heard John ask. I felt tears burn my eyes and I tried to blink them away quickly. "Y-Yeah, I'm fine," I said. I stood up and breathed out. "I'm going home," I said. "Are you sure you're alright?" Mick asked. I forced a smile. "Yeah! Why wouldn't I be? I'm glad they're working it out," I said but, my voice broke at the end of the sentence. I quickly walked out before I would fall apart completely. I got on my motorcycle and quickly made my way to my house.

I quickly walked into my house and slammed my door. I pressed my back up against the door and the tears came running down my cheeks. I covered my mouth and slid down the door. I pulled my knees up to my chest and buried my face into the knees and sobbed. He'll never be mine again, he's with Brandi and I know he won't abandon her while she's pregnant. He's the only person I've ever loved, I want him so badly and now he's back with Brandi. I'll never get him back and I want him back so badly. We've almost kissed twice, there has to be something between us still?

No, of course not, Carly. He's still with Brandi. You're nothing to him. I am absolutely nothing. I felt more tears run down my cheeks. I quickly stood up and walked into my bathroom. I opened up my medicine cabinet and tore through all the bottles until I found what I was looking for. Ecstasy. I haven't touched this stuff since 1987, I know it's been in here. It's in a bottle that looks like ibuprofen. I opened it up and saw tons of colorful pills. Do I really wanna do this? I've been clean for 5 years.

Fuck it. I dumped them all into my mouth and swallowed them with a cup of water that was by my sink. I breathed out and rubbed my eyes. Now, thinking back, I shouldn't have taken all of them. I know I made a mistake now, but honestly? I don't care. It's just this one time. I won't touch it ever again after this.

—

I held onto the wall as the room started to spin, it feels like I'm not even a real person anymore. I don't know where I am, I don't know who I am. But, I smiled. I missed feeling like this, this is the best feeling in the world. I giggled as I pushed myself off the wall and made my way towards the kitchen for a beer. Go hard or go home, am I right? Wait, I'm already home. What do I do now? I'm already home so, do I still go hard? I shook my head to try to stop thinking about that, it's making my head hurt but, as I did, I fell against the wall again and laughed. 

I finally made my way over to the fridge and got a beer out. I quickly opened it and leaned against the wall and downed it quickly. Since I'm already high, the alcohol hit me twice as hard. I heard a knock on the door and I groaned to myself. Who the hell is here? I pushed myself off the wall again and stumbled towards the door. I held onto the doorknob to keep me from falling and looked out the peephole. I saw black hair and green eyes.

Oh my god, why the fuck is Nikki here?!

(A/N: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! Please vote, it's greatly appreciated! Feedback is always welcome & encouraged! Okay bye🦁)