Fallin for you

aubreys POV:

once i met hannah i had to change. i put on jeans and my field hockey sweatshirt with some flip flops. we ordered are food. i got the small mac n cheese in a bread bowl. hannah had a hard time deciding sense shes never been here. she got a cinnamon crunch bagel toasted with butter. we got our food and sat down.

"so how was your summer?"

"amazing, you shouldve went to some of the parties!"

"i dont wanna harm the baby, id end up doing weed and put the baby in harm"

"howd you know youd do weed"

"because im so stupid when it comes to partying and sometimes in general"

cali really screwed me over

i got a text from brandon. ew what did he want.

'i wanna explain myself'

'oh id love to hear this sob story'

i got off my phone, i was agitated.

"aubrey, you dont really think your stupid right?"

i looked down

"yeah i do, and sometimes i think im such an idiot for some of the stuff i do, and that im not good enough but i never told anyone because i didnt want anyone to know how i really feel!"

i put my hands over my mouth.

"damn it"

i said under my breath.

"aubrey... why didnt you tell anyone? im here for you you know"

"thanks hannah and no one knows a lot about me, harry does but i never tell him my bad thoughts."

"you should, its better for you. its unhealthy to keep everything in. never tell yourself your stupid because its not true. and you are good enough so never say you arent"

"i wish i could believe what you say, but these nasty letters i get at school arent helpful"

"what letters?"

"wow is my mouth like a waterfall today or what"

"aubrey what letters"

"its nothing hannah"

"did you hurt yourself"

"never"

"good"

we ate our dinner and left for her practice. harry was meeting me here. he was sleeping over tonight. im not gonna show him my letters or how i feel. the letters i keep in my nightstand and my thoughts in the notes on my phone.

"are you nervous?"

"very, i wanna get on the best team"

"you will, your the best player hannah just relax and do your best"

we hugged and she went off i sat on the bleachers and went on the notes on my phone. i read each and everyone of my thoughts. i agreed with them. i picked through my pocket and found the two new letters i got today. i didnt read them again.

"hey babe"

i jumped and scrambled to put the letters back in my jeans.

"you scared me"

"what were you holding?"

"oh its nothing"

he gave me a look and sat next to me. we watched hannah. she did amazing, scored so many home runs and then pitched so many outs. shes for sure gonna get on the top team.

once it was over she came back to us.

"how was i?"

"absolutely amazing! your gonna get on the top team"

"thanks guys, it means a lot you came and supported me."

we got icecream and talked. hannah kept looking at me and i think she wants me to tell harry what i slipped out at dinner.

i drove home in harrys car. he put his duffle bag in my room. i went downstairs to talk to my mom.

"hey honey how was your first day?"

"awful, i punched a girl"

"good god why?!"

"she tried to slap me twice so i punched her. but cheering was good, and harry did amazing at tryouts and so didnt hannah."

"were kids mean to you today"

"what do you think?"

she sighed

"i think we should tell the principle"

"no mom its fine, i get what i deserve."

my mom was pissed

"no honey you dont! you dont deserve half the crap these kids give you, maybe some stuff but not everyday! we need to do something"

we talked for awhile then i went back upstairs. i changed into leggings and a big t-shirt. i didnt care if harry was watching me because hes seen me naked, and hes my best friend i dont care. i grabbed the letters and put them into my pile in the drawer.

"aubrey what are those"

"nothing"

"its not nothing, what is that"

he got up and reached for the drawer.

"harry dont"

"babe whats in here"

he opened it and took all the papers. he sat on the floor and started to read them. my eyes watered.

"why didnt you tell me?"

i looked at him with my glossy eyes.

he flipped over my arms.

"harry i didnt"

he lifted up my stomach, then pulled my pants down a little and checked my thighs.

"harry i didnt cut myself!"

i raised my voice

"who wrote these"

"i dont know, i find them in my locker all the time"

"why didnt you show me?"

"because i dont know"

he sighed and hugged me

"none of this is true, your not stupid, worthless-"

yes i am

"worthless, whore, slut, anything that these say."

he ripped them up and took me downstairs and threw them in the fire

"what was that?"

"just some unneeded papers"

he looked at me as he said it

i went back upstairs and started to go through the list of final cuts. i was in the middle of my thinking when i kept getting interrupted by my mind. i began to softly cry. i leaned in on harrys shoulder.

"baby what is going on with you?"

"the stuff in those letters is true!"

"what?! are you kidding me? thats not even close to the truth!"

"but im stupid and worthless"

he shut the tv off. we say criss cross across from each other. he held my hands.

"aubrey look at me in the eyes"

"you are nowhere near stupid, your not worthless because you mean the world to me! your going to be a mother and your gonna mean the world to your baby, and you mean alot to others. your absolutely perfect in my eyes. everyone makes shitty mistakes, its not just you"

he kissed me and i sobbed into his shirt. i pulled up all the notes in my phone and showed him. he deleted all my notes that said bad stuff and put in good stuff for me. after that i felt a lot better about things, and myself.