the doofus that changed it all || kamijiro

1 - 'i didn't want to hurt you'

'i didn't want to hurt you'
was the last thing i read in our chat dialogue.

if she didn't want to hurt me, she wouldn't have kept this as a secret.

how long had this been going on?
how long had she been seeing someone else?
were any of the emotions and things she'd said even sincere?

i look at momo and i's chat dialogue, hands shaking as I gripped into my phone tighter and tighter. i force myself to put on a facade, weakly replying back to her text.

'that's ok :) be with who u wanna be, i can't change that'

i sink into my chair, my earjacks twisting itself in to intangible knots. how will I face her tomorrow? how do i sit comfortably knowing that the person she's seeing is in the same class as i am?

i suck it in, not bothering to check for any replies. a wave of emotion started drowning me; it physically hurt to even look at our conversations. not wanting to endure the pain, i swiftly clicked 'clear chat'.

all those late night texts sent? gone.
all those rows of heart emojis sent? gone.
all those mini vents and heartfelt texts sent? gone.

all my hopes and dreams of being with her? gone.