F | Anybody Have a Map? (Grey's Anatomy)

SEVENTEEN: "Under The Bridge."

'How do you know that you that you have a brain tumour?' The counsellor asks. 

'The shrink I spoke to in Zurich said that I had Borderline Personality Disorder but he ran an MRI to be on the safe side. The neurologist examined the scan and found a tumour on my frontal lobe.' Emma replies. 'I made the shrink and neurologist promise to tell anyone and everyone that it was BPD. Even my dad.' 

'Are you sure that's the right thing to do?' A person in the group asks. 

'My dad's ex-wife and now, possibly girlfriend - it's complicated - had the same kind of a tumour, only bigger. If I tell him, it will send him over the edge.' Emma says. 'Besides, it's not that big. I'll tell him when the time is right' 

'Emma-' The counsellor starts. Emma looks up at the clock. 

'And you're not going to tell him either. Group's over.' Emma states, seeing the hour's up. She stands up and walks back to her room. She slumps down onto her bed, sighs and puts her hands on her head. She's interrupted by a nurse, Macie, walking in. 

'Hi, Emma.' She smiles. Emma sits up. She sees that the orderly has a tray with one paper cup with a few pills in, a plastic cup with methadone in and a plastic cup of water in on. She places the tray on the desk, picks up the cups and walks over to Emma. She hands the plastic cup with the methadone in, to Emma. 

'Do I have to take this? It wasn't even heroin I was addicted to. I only used it about five times.' 

'We're not taking any chances.' Macie tells her. 'When was the last time you used heroin?' 

'In Zurich.' Emma looks down. 

'So yes, you do need to take the methadone.' Macie nods. Emma looks back up. 'Look, you only need to take it for another couple of days.'

'I've been waking up in my own urine, vomit or faeces the past week.' Emma says. 'I don't fancy doing it again.' 

'Emma, you know how this works. If you don't take it, we're going to have to sedate you and give it to you through a vein and you'll lose even more of your dignity.' Macie raises an eyebrow. 'I get that this is hard for you. You're the youngest in this centre by ten years. Your dad fought to get you in here. If you don't want to do it for yourself, do it for him.' Emma just laughs. 'What's funny?' 

'My dad told you what my weak spot is, didn't he?' Emma questions. Macie just smiles. 'Thought so.' Emma smiles also before drinking the methadone. Once she has finished she hands the plastic cup back. Macie then hands her the cup with the pills in and the cup with the water. 

'These will help with your headache.' Macie says. Emma takes the pills out of the cup, puts them in her mouth and washes them down with the water. 

'How'd you know I had a headache?' Emma asks, handing the cups back. 

'I'm a nurse.' Macie laughs. 'It's my job.' She then walks back over to the desk and picks the tray back up. 'I'll be back in to check on you later.' She then leaves. 

.

The next morning, Emma wakes up at 6 am - the mandatory time for everyone in the centre - in her own urine. She gets out of bed, takes her soiled clothes and sheets off and puts them in the laundry basket ready to be collected. She then walks through to her bathroom, turns her shower on to the cold setting and just sits under the running water to wake her up. After five minutes, she stands up, puts the water onto hot and showers. After fifteen minutes, she steps out, wraps a towel around her hair and body and walks back to her room. She sees that her soiled sheets and clothes have been taken, fresh sheets have been put on her bed and an outfit - an oversized grey jumper, black leggings and black pumps - laid out for her. She dries off and gets changed before towel drying her hair and brushing it. She leaves it down so that it can air dry. It gets to half seven when Macie collects Emma for breakfast.