Lean On Me (FF7)

23

~Cloud's POV~

I don't understand. Tifa always told me she loved me, that she would never love anyone else. That she would men ever leave me. And now I'm stuck with a difficult decision. To forget everything that Tifa ever told me and move on to Yuffie, a fresh start with so much excitement and happiness, or end me and Yuffie's 'little bit more than friends' relationship and hope that Tifa will accept me. I don't know. I always pushed her away, kept her out, made sure she never knew. I can't help but feel I lost a half today, not romantically speaking. We grew up in the same town, experienced some of the same pain throughout our chase with Sephiroth, and I still can't let her in. I try to blink away the tears swelling up in my eyes and swallow the lump growing in my throat, but all attempts fail and I end up enjoying the free feeling of a tear getting blown down the side if my cheek, the air cool where it touches the wet trail of salt water.

I have to let her go. There's a point you get to sometimes where you realize something just won't work, and she's realized it. Tifa knows what's best, she always has. She's come to realize that as much as I want to, I can't feel the same way about her the way she does about me. It's like when I had to make sure I let Aeris go, let her be with Zack, the man who really loved her, and not just cared about her because she was always stuck with me and she was just... that kind of person you want to be around. You know? Where you feel like you like them, but you don't know, and when they don't feel the same, you let it go. If any part of me is going to be free, I need to let it be my emotions.

I feel trapped in my own body, an outcast because I'm different. It's never quite the same for me, what friendship feels like. It should feel free, fun, and happy. Instead, I'm always under pressure to appear as a leader, to be a likeable person, but it's still awkward. I feel like I'm just... here. I don't have a purpose, just another face in the crowd. But I want to have a purpose. Barret and Tifa, who were so close to me from the start, can't even stand to look at each other. Vincent, who used to be so quiet and lost, found his way only to be dropped again from the height of his hopes. Yuffie wanted to restore her homeland. Cait Sith turned friend from enemy. Cid had a dream. Aeris wanted to save the planet. RedIIX only wanted to know his father as an honorable leader, only to find Jim paralyzed and trapped in stone. Maybe we're all a little trapped inside.

I hear a thud and sigh, not giving enough effort to wipe my tears away. It's not as if they haven't seen me cry like a baby before.

"Vince, I told you to leave."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he's next," a deadly voice sneers.

I stay in my original position, surprisingly calm for someone who's enemy just randomly appeared with their weapon drawn, ready to turn me into a shish kabob.

"What do you want, Sephiroth?"

"What do you think I want?"

"No idea, that's why I asked." I shrug.

"You'd better watch your smart comments."

"Or what,'' I say, bored. It's like a cycle. Wake up, get hurt, fight, they disappear, get hurt, pass out, wake up, eat, go to sleep. That's my typical day lately.

" Or this," he swings he sword out and it hits my throat lightly.

"So threatening," I say sarcastically even though my heart is pounding.

"Not in the mood, eh?" He smirks and surprisingly puts his blade away. What is happening?

"Not really," I shrug.

"Good," he shoves me over onto the ground. "I've been waiting for the day you let your guard down."

"Well I guess it's your lucky day."