Winter (A Bucky Barnes recovery story)

3. Lunch and Art

When they reached Steve's apartment he lead Bucky inside, Bucky followed silently much the way he was during the drive. Steve pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the door pushing it open and ushering Bucky in. "What would you like for lunch?" Steve asks, Bucky shrugs.

"Dunno. I hate to be a burden but can I uh. Can I." Bucky stops mid-sentence.

"Buck, you aren't a burden. What do you need?"

"I was wondering if I could... I'd like to use your shower... If that's okay." He mumbles, rubbing the back of his neck.

"That's totally fine. Your motel not have hot water or something?" Steve replies.

"Yeah somethin' like that" he mutters, shrugging.

"Bathrooms down that way. I can lend you some of my clothes, and we can wash yours. If you'd like." He points down the hall, Bucky nods and walks down the hall quietly. Steve sighs and puts a pot of water on the stove to boil. It was odd, seeing him so quiet. He pulls out the can of soup and starts to make it.

Bucky closes the door behind him silently. He pulls his shirt off, looking in the mirror he frowns. He looks at his arm with disgust, it made him less human and he felt like a monster with it. He thought of how many lives he had taken with it and huffs. He rubs his face with his right hand and takes off his pants, he turns on the water and showers letting the water wash all the dirt and grime from his body and hair.

He walks out with a towel around his waist, Steve looks up and walks over to him. "Feel better?" he asks trying to hide his frown. Bucky was quite thin and was really pale although the shadows under his eyes looked somewhat better.

"Yeah thanks." Bucky says quietly.

"Here come on let's get you some clothes." Steve says, leading Bucky into his bedroom. He digs around in his closet and pulls out a plain pair of black skinny jeans and a white tee shirt. "Will this work?" he asks, tossing them to Bucky.

"Yeah they'll do fine thanks." He replies.

"Go ahead and change in here I'll go finish in the kitchen." He says, leaving Bucky in the room. He pours the soup into two bowls and then places them on the table. Bucky comes out a couple minutes later wearing the borrowed clothes. Steve looks at him silently, the jeans kind of clung to his waist and the tee shirt was baggy, though over all he looked okay.

"I threw your clothes in the washer. Come sit, eat." Steve says, sitting down. Bucky sits down silently at the table in the chair across from Steve.

"Thank you." He says quietly, picking up his spoon and hesitating.

"Your welcome, it's good to see you. I hope you like tomato soup." Steve says, eating his soup. Bucky nods, and begins to eat quite fast. "Don't gets sick." Steve says looking at him wearily, when was the last time he'd eaten?

Bucky slows slightly, his hair falling in his face. They both finish their meals and Bucky stands "I've got to get going." he says, rubbing the back of his neck again.

"Can you stay a little longer? I still have to throw your clothes in the dryer." Steve says, Bucky looks hesitant but then nods. "Okay, thank you. I'll be right back." He steps into his laundry room an throws Bucky clothes into the dryer. He walks back into the other room.

"Steve?" Bucky asks from where he still stood by the table.

"Yeah Buck?" he asks.

"Uhm... did... I mean d-do you..." He stops as if not sure how to proceed.

"What?" Steve asks, coming to stand in front of him.

"You... You uhm, draw right?" he asks, not looking up from the floor. Steve smiles, thrilled that Bucky remembered something.

"You bet I do." He beams, "Do you want to see some of it?"

"If it's not to much. Or I mean if you don't mind showing me." Bucky feels stupid stumbling for words, or even asking at all.

Steve smiles at him, "Of course. I would love to. Just hold on while I go grab a couple." Bucky nods and then Steve goes into his room and then reemerges holding a couple sketchbooks. "Here. Come sit down."

Bucky listens to Steve and sits on the couch taking the sketchbooks. He takes the one off the top, it looks old. He flips through the pages there was sketches of different objects and a landscape or two, but what really catches his eye is the sketches of him. There's multiple different sketches of him and he stops at one suddenly.

Steve looks over at him, "What?"

Bucky continues looking at the paper not looking up he asks, "When did you draw this?" Steve looks at the paper there's a sketch of Bucky he looks a bit ragged and has a couple of minor scratches.

"Well judging by the cuts and bruises, that was the night I rescued you from Hydra." Steve replies softly, Bucky draws in a sharp breath and sets the notebook down on the table. "You okay?" Steve asks suddenly worried.

Bucky stands, "Uhm are my clothes clean? I really need to get going." He can feel a headache starting but doesn't say anything.

"Yeah they should be. Are you okay buddy?" Steve asks watching him.

"Fine. I'm fine, thank you again."

Steve gives him a worried look then gets his clothes from the dryer. He hands them to Bucky and watches as Bucky goes back into his room.

He sighs and sits on the couch.

Bucky shuts the door behind him then leans against it for support. His headache getting worse. He quickly changes into his clothes which are still warm from the dryer.

Steve stands as Bucky comes out, "Are you sure you can't stay longer?" he asks, watching Bucky stride to the door.

"No thank you. Good bye." He walks out before Steve can even respond. Steve stands quietly.